Get A Room
by sinderella0069
Summary: Part Five of Living Arrangements. The Crystal Gems have a possible cure for corruption and a plan to move the Cluster. Meanwhile Steven and Peridot are on a quest for privacy. But none of them are prepared for the shocking secrets that are about to be exposed. This is an older!Steven x Peridot story, you have been warned.
1. Chapter 1

Sequel to Living Arrangements, I Think We're Alone Now, Three's A Crowd and In Sickness And In Health. You _really_ should read them first.

This is an older!Steven x Peridot story. If older!Steven x Peridot stories are not your thing, I suggest you turn back now, because I will not be all that happy if every single comment I get is a complaint that it's an older!Steven x Peridot story. You have been warned.

XXX

GET A ROOM

"How are you feeling?" Dr Maheswaran shone a light in Steven's eyes as she spoke and he tried not to flinch away, just in case she took it as a sign that he needed to be kept at the hospital for another night. "No pain? Nausea?" A tiny smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. "Any trouble sleeping last night?"

"I slept fine, thank you," Steven lied politely. In reality, the hospital at night was only slightly less bright and noisy than it was during the day and he'd found it very difficult to get to sleep. But he didn't bother mentioning it; he had the feeling she wouldn't be particularly sympathetic. Not after he'd just woken up from a week-long, self-inflicted magical coma.

Dr Maheswaran switched off the penlight and straightened up, apparently satisfied. "Everything appears to be normal."

"So I can go home now?" he asked hopefully.

"Well... I'd _like_ to keep you in for observation a little longer," she said, making a few notes on her clipboard. "Under the usual circumstances, two comas in a row would be a cause for concern. But these aren't the usual circumstances," she grumpily conceded. "Your condition was entirely gem-related, and there's no real medical reason for me to keep you in any longer."

"Hooray!" Steven cheered, raising his arms aloft in victory.

Dr Maheswaran rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help smiling. "I'll inform your father that you're free to go," she said, and signed the paperwork with a flourish before walking out of the room.

All of the various tubes and wires had been disconnected the day before, so all that was left for Steven to do was to change out of his hospital gown into the clothes his father had brought for him and freshen up a little. His father was waiting when he stepped out of the bathroom, and they quickly made their way out of their building and into the sunshine.

Greg exhaled loudly and visibly relaxed. "I'm definitely not gonna miss this place," he remarked.

Steven winced with guilt. "Sorry."

"Hey, no, don't sweat it," Greg hastily reassured him. "You needed to be there, I get that. Hospitals just weird me out a little, that's all."

"If it helps, I plan to never, ever do anything like that ever again." And despite the warm sunshine, Steven shivered, remembering his brief brush with corruption... and what he'd had to do to break free. "It got a little unpleasant towards the end," he admitted. "But," he added brightly before Greg to ask him to elaborate, "I don't _need_ to do anything like that ever again! Not now we have your song!"

Greg allowed himself a modest grin. "It may not make me more millions, but it's probably the most important song I've ever composed." He thought for a moment. "Well, other than the one I sang at the show where I met your mother, of course."

"Of course," Steven agreed, and then as they climbed into the car and began driving back towards the beach house, he lapsed into silence, deep in thought.

They finally had a cure for corruption. He tried not to get his hopes up too much about it; after all, he and Peridot hadn't been fully corrupted. And it was entirely possible the song wouldn't work on the fully corrupted gems who'd been hit by the Diamond's true weapon, rather than a recording. But still, it was difficult not to get excited by this development when it was the first time they'd ever managed to properly cure somebody.

He longed to talk it all over with the gems, but when they got back to the house, it was clear the only immediate plans the gems had was to celebrate his homecoming. A banner with the words "WELCOME HOME STEVEN" was hung from the ceiling, an enormous cake was sitting on the kitchen counter, Connie was arranging crudités around a bowl of dip, and Pearl and Garnet were hanging paper chains while Amethyst and Peridot were busy replacing the broken door to Peridot's room.

Amethyst was the first to spot him. "Hey, Steven, heyyy!" she cried, letting go of the door and waving wildly. Unfortunately, Peridot had only got as far as lining up the hinges; she looked up just in time to see it hurtling towards her and managed to fling her arms up just in time to protect her face before she was flattened.

"Sorry, my bad," Amethyst said cheerfully as Garnet and Steven both rushed forward to lift the door up so Peridot could crawl free. "And in my defense, I thought she'd screwed those in already anyway."

Peridot scowled, but arguing with Amethyst was always more trouble than it was worth, so she ignored her and nodded up at her rescuers instead. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Garnet reached down and hauled her to her feet while Steven leaned the door against the wall. "Leave it for now, I'll help you after the party."

"Thanks," Peridot said again gratefully.

Garnet turned around and went back to help Pearl with the last of the decorations and Amethyst drifted over towards Connie, obviously hoping to swipe a few carrot sticks when she wasn't looking. Steven glanced over at Peridot, who was now using her metal powers to retrieve the fallen screws and hinges. "You're not hurt, are you?" he asked quietly.

"Hmm?" She looked at him, distracted, and the hinges promptly fell to the floor with a clatter. "Oh, no, I'm fine." She raised her forearms and smiled slightly. "My sweater protected me from injury."

" _Your_ sweater?" he repeated with a grin. He recognized the navy sweater as one of his old ones; he'd grown out of it some time ago, but it was still adorably oversized on her.

"You left it in the barn last year, it's mine now," she countered. "I believe the phrase is 'finders keepers.'"

"Losers weepers." He laughed and then reached out and took her hands. "I'm not gonna cry about it though. It looks good on you-"

"Hey, lovebirds!" Amethyst called out, ignoring the stick of celery Connie was irritably smacking across her hand. Taking advantage of the distraction, Greg leaned over and quietly swiped a carrot stick. "Come over here already so we can eat!"

They joined the others in the kitchen and Pearl clapped her hands together. "Well! Steven! We're all here today because-"

"Pearrrrrllllllll," Amethyst whined. "A speech? Seriously? I'm starving!"

"You're made of light, you'll be fine," Pearl snapped. "As I was saying-"

"Welcome home, Steven," Garnet interrupted. "Now let's eat."

Pearl huffed, but she didn't quite dare contradict Garnet and instead started passing around paper plates and napkins. Garnet smirked and nodded slightly towards Steven, who blushed and looked away. He couldn't help feeling a little guilty for being relieved that Pearl's speech had been cut off, but he was ravenous.

For the next few minutes, everybody except Pearl ate and brought Steven up to date with the local gossip he'd missed while he was incapacitated. There wasn't a lot of it; Beach City wasn't a very big place. Mayor Dewey had decided to finally tear down the old ruined docks and use the wood to hold a town bonfire on the beach, Quentin Frowney had come back to town and Mr Smiley had shocked everyone by closing Funland for the day so that they'd have all the rides to themselves, and Lars had accidentally destroyed part of Beach Citywalk Fries and A Pizza The Ocean when he'd tried to warp home to visit his parents and misjudged the exit.

"Speaking of Lars and Fryman..." Greg pushed his plate aside, stood up and grabbed stack of envelopes from the coffee table. "Here, these are for you."

Steven shuffled through the envelopes in confusion, wondering if they were perhaps very early birthday cards, then he opened the first one and comprehension dawned across his face. "Oh, neat! Get well soon cards! I never had any before!"

"You've never been in hospital before," Connie pointed out.

"True," he admitted. He opened the card and smiled at the message inside. "It's from Ronaldo." The smile faded as he carried on reading.

 _Steven! Don't let the doctors take your blood, the hospital is involved in experimental human research and your human-gem DNA may be exactly what they need to create their army of super-sneople-soldiers. I have told the gems to wrap your body in duct tape to protect you, so if you wake up covered in tape, do not be alarmed. I can't go near the hospital myself but as soon as you can get out, contact me and we can work out a plan to break into the labs and retrieve any tissue samples they may have taken from you-_

"So many words and none of them are 'get well soon'," he grumbled, tossing the card aside. Happily the next few were more satisfying, although Mindy had addressed her card to 'Stephen' despite having known him for almost three years, and Onion's was a sympathy card with a well drawn but rather gruesome picture of Steven being dismembered inside.

"Peedee and Lars said to let you know they're glad you're awake and they wanted to visit – Lars came by the hospital last week as well – but they had to get back to campus yesterday," Connie explained as Steven started lining the cards up in front of him. "Actually, I can't stay too much longer either," she confessed. "I was supposed to go back today too, but Dad said he'd drive me back tonight, so I have to go home and finish packing in about..." She glanced at her phone and sighed. "Half an hour ago."

"I can give you a ride home if you need," Greg offered, tossing a napkin onto his plate and standing up.

"Thanks, Mr Universe," Connie said gratefully. She stood up as well and gave Steven a quick hug that took him by surprise. "I can't believe you slept through my entire vacation! We're gonna have to hang out twice as much next time I visit to make up for it."

Steven grinned sheepishly. "Yeah... sorry about that. Won't happen again."

Greg reached out and ruffled his hair. "Glad to hear that," he said, sounding a little choked up. "Hey, you wanna come by tomorrow, take a look around my studio? I can show you what I did with the song. And remember, you're welcome to stay over any time."

"Uh, sure, Dad," Steven mumbled, trying not to feel too guilty at the hopeful look on his father's face. Actually, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to see exactly what his dad had done to the song, but he had no immediate plans to stay anywhere else but at the beach house. He'd only just got back, after all, and besides, there was far too much work to do...

He waited until Connie and Greg had left, and then turned to face the Crystal Gems. "Speaking of the song," he began. "I was thinking we should try it on some of the other corrupted gems next."

Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl exchanged quick glances and smiled. "You know, we were thinking the same thing," Pearl said.

"And I bet I can guess which gem you'd like to start with," Garnet added knowingly.

Steven stared at her for a moment before hesitantly replying. "Centipeedle?"

"Centipeedle," Garnet confirmed. "She and her crew are already unbubbled, you've already had some success with her in the past-"

"And even though she'd from Homeworld, she seems chill," Amethyst butted in.

"Of course, afterwards it might be wise to try curing some of the gems who were on our side," Pearl mused. "Even after _this_ , there's bound to be Homeworld gems who remain loyal to their Diamonds and the more gems we have on our side to subdue them, the better."

"May I make a suggestion?" Peridot suddenly piped up. Before anyone could answer, she plowed on ahead anyway. "I'd like to try curing Jasper. She's the most recently corrupted gem, and her method of transmission was markedly different to the others. It would be interesting to see if that affects the healing process."

"I don't know..." Pearl began, looking to Garnet for help. "I mean, Jasper... she did give us quite a lot of trouble..."

"I'm willing to offer my assistance again if you don't think you can manage," Peridot offered. "I _have_ defeated her on two separate occasions now," she couldn't help bragging.

"I don't think that will be necessary," Pearl said a little stiffly, pretending she couldn't see Amethyst shaking with silent laughter behind Peridot. "But-"

"I'd kinda like to cure Jasper too," Steven interjected. "I know she was a pain, but corruption... it's horrible." He shivered. "I know she might still wanna fight us and then we'll have to poof her and bubble her all over again, but I'd feel better if she was uncorrupted when we do that."

"You both make very good points," Garnet said diplomatically. "But I agree with Pearl, I think it would be wise to try healing some of our allies first. I know you could defeat her again if you had to," she added to Peridot, a small smile twitching at the corner of her mouth, "but it wouldn't hurt to have backup."

Steven and Peridot looked at each other and then nodded in acceptance. "I suppose that's logical," Peridot conceded.

"And I guess-" Steven paused and yawned widely. "-I guess we should wait and see how it goes with Centi first before we try cure a bunch of other gems."

"And while we're on the subject of cured gems," Garnet added, "sounds like you could do with some rest, Steven."

"I'm fine," Steven protested and immediately ruined his argument by yawning again. "OK, maybe I am a little tired after all."

Amethyst cocked her head to one side. "But... you were just asleep for like, two weeks? You shouldn't need to sleep for ages now."

Steven laughed. "It doesn't work like that, sorry. I still need to sleep every night. Plus I was using my powers, it wasn't exactly regular, restful sleep."

"Then let's get that door repaired so we can leave you in peace," Garnet said, pointing towards Peridot's room.

"Aww, but Celebrity Dance Parade is on tonight," Amethyst whined. Then she perked up slightly. "I guess I can watch it in Peridotty's room, she won't mind."

"Yes I will!" Peridot protested in outrage. "And don't call me that!"

"Hey, it's OK, I'm not going to bed right now," Steven said hastily. "I want to have a shower first anyway, I smell like hospital, so you can watch your TV show, I don't mind."

Amethyst hesitated. "It's not on until half past ten though-"

"Fine, you can watch your stupid show in my room," Peridot snapped. "But I will be doing important work, so try not to disturb me."

"Does this 'important work' involve Percy and Pierre getting caught in a blizzard and seeking shelter in a remote cabin with only one bed?" Garnet asked with interest.

"Wha-no!" Peridot blushed and glanced away. "I shall be working on my security drone designs, of course."

"Of course," Garnet said solemnly. "Now. The door."

This time around, Garnet held the door in place while Peridot and Amethyst installed the hinges. Steven helped Pearl clean up the debris from the party, but now it had been brought up, he was hyper-aware of how tired he really was. It was a relief when Pearl spotted him yawning a third time and ordered him to shower at once and go straight to bed.

xxx

"Oooh, looks like he pissed off the wardrobe department!" Amethyst cackled with laughter as the celebrity on screen tried very hard not to look like he minded having to attempt a foxtrot while wearing a hot dog costume.

"You think that's bad, wait until you see the guy from Kansas Nights," Garnet said with a knowing grin.

Amethyst narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her. "You said reality TV was difficult to predict," she said accusingly. "You said that was why you liked it so much."

"It is." Garnet paused. "But the costumes were posted online yesterday."

In the corner of the room, Peridot gritted her teeth and tried to concentrate on her work, but it was very difficult with Amethyst and Garnet in the room. It didn't help that she was unable to use her computer; nobody had bothered to replace the broken monitor during her period of corruption and so it was still hooked up to the television, which the two other gems were now monopolizing. Still, she tried very hard not to mind too much, because somehow that felt a little like blaming Steven. She couldn't help resenting the intrusion though, and spent half as much time glaring at her guests as she did glaring at her tablet, and when the show finished two hours later, she realized her plan so far was a sketch of a basic drone with the words 'non-lethal' written underneath.

She sighed and tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling. The show was over, she told herself. Soon her unwanted guests would leave-

"Oh look, Celebrity Parade Extra's on next," Garnet exclaimed. "Backstage interviews with the contestants and dancers. We _have_ to watch that."

"Oh come on!" Peridot blurted out. "Ah... I mean, come on Vivian?" she hastily corrected as they both turned to stare at her.

"You're rooting for Vivian?" Amethyst shook her head. "I dunno... she's not bad, but I think Julia's technically better."

Garnet shook her head. "Vivian's more popular. And that's really what matters on this show. Julia won't make it past week three."

"Aww!" Amethyst pouted. "Good thing I didn't bet on her or anything." Then she perked up. "So who's gonna win?"

Garnet shrugged. "Dunno. I haven't looked."

" _Could_ you?" Amethyst weedled. "And then I could put a bet on _them._ We'd make a fortune!"

"No. That's a hugely unethical use of my powers," Garnet said crossly. "And I'd quite like to be surprised this time."

Once again, Peridot tried to tune them out and concentrate. She stared at her tablet screen and willed herself to focus, and then reached out and dragged a finger across the glass. To her surprise, nothing happened, but before she could start worrying, the screen began to buzz with an incoming FaceTime call. "Ah, it's Lapis!"

Lapis's face filled the screen and she didn't look pleased. "Finally!" she exclaimed before Peridot could say anything. "Where have you been!? You haven't answered any of my calls or commented on my blog- what's wrong with your face!?"

Peridot flinched and drew back slightly. "It- it's nothing," she said, unconsciously reaching up to try and hide the spots on her face. "It's just a little scarring from the corruption-"

"The _what?"_ Lapis asked sharply. "What corruption!? How!?" Her eyes widened in terror. "The Diamonds are here!?"

"What!? No!" Peridot held her hands up to try and slow the torrent of questions. "I found the song! Didn't... didn't anyone tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Peridot's heart sank. She turned around to confront Amethyst and Garnet, only to find they'd quietly vacated the room while her attention was elsewhere. Obviously they'd left this unpleasant task to her. And so she sighed, muted the TV and began to explain. "Do you recall those encrypted files I discovered on the computer at the Kindergarten? The ones we suspected could contain information about corruption? Well..." She paused for emphasis. "They did. I discovered a file that contained the Diamond's corruption song. Unfortunately, I didn't realize what it was until after I played it," she admitted.

"And you were corrupted!?" Lapis gasped in horror.

Peridot couldn't help feeling a small burst of satisfaction that her story had caused such a reaction, and she hurried to elaborate. "Yes, I was corrupted," she confirmed dramatically. "It was really quite painful actually, even before I was forced to battle my way through a nightmare landscape of gem experiments-"

"Why didn't anyone tell me!?" Lapis interrupted furiously.

 _Probably because they suspected you'd react exactly like this,_ Peridot thought, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "I don't-" she began.

"Why didn't _Steven_ tell me!?"

Peridot cringed and the small burst of satisfaction curled up and died. "Well..."

Lapis's eyes narrowed suspiciously and her face zoomed in on the screen. "Why didn't Steven tell me?" she repeated slowly and sternly.

"He was... unavailable," Peridot hedged.

Lapis scowled, clearly not satisfied with that excuse. "Why didn't Steven tell me?" she asked for a third time.

Peridot sighed. There was nothing for it, she was going to have to tell the truth. "Steven... was affected by the corruption song as well. Just a tiny bit!" she hastily continued as Lapis's hands flew to her face in horror. "He doesn't even have any spots! He's fine now! We're both fine! Everything is fine! We found a cure! Well, Steven's father found a cure," she amended. "He examined the song and was able to compose a tune to counteract the effects. So," she concluded a little smugly, "it may have been a deeply unpleasant experience, but now we can finally make progress in curing the corrupted Crystal Gems! Isn't that great?"

Lapis didn't look like she thought it was great at all, but by that point, Peridot was too fired up with possibilities to notice. "Just think, the Diamonds will show up, expecting to find maybe one or two surviving rebels and their geoweapon waiting for them to use, and instead they'll find themselves facing the entire combined forces of Crystal Gems, with the Cluster on their side!" She struck a dramatic pose. "They'll be so shocked, they'll probably poof themselves!" Then she deflated. "Of course, we actually have to see if the cure works first. Mine and Steven's corruption wasn't quite the same as theirs, so the cure may not be as effective. We plan to test it on Centipeedle and Jasper-"

"Jasper?" Lapis said sharply and Peridot belatedly remembered exactly who she was talking to. "You want to cure _her_? After everything she did to me!?"

Peridot rather unwisely opened her mouth to suggest that maybe Jasper hadn't been entirely to blame for the whole Malachite situation, but Lapis was in full flow now. "And have you forgotten that she's loyal to Homeworld? And you, may I remind you, called your Diamond a clod and joined the Crystal Gems. The moment she's cured, she'll shatter you. And she'll shatter the rest of us. And she'll drag Steven back to Homeworld and the Diamonds will have _him_ shattered and it'll be all your fault! Pah!" She scoffed and tossed her hair. "Are you _quite_ sure you're really cured? Because it sounds to me like you're still half-corrupted. Maybe you should look in a mirror, make sure there's no spots on your _gem,"_ she finished with a derisive laugh.

A flash of hurt stabbed Peridot in the chest, but she quickly composed herself. "Bye, Lapis," she said stiffly. "Enjoy your butt tour." Then she quickly disconnected the call before the other gem could see the tears that had risen in her eyes. Then just for good measure, she turned the tablet off too.

She wiped her eyes and took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She knew Lapis (probably) didn't really mean it, she was just doing what she always did when she felt threatened, lashing out at the closest person. It was something that had put a real strain on their friendship in the past until they'd made their own separate rooms in the barn to get space from each other, and it had been a long time since she'd been on the receiving end of Lapis's ire. She'd forgotten how much it could sting.

As she calmed down, she became aware of the sound of movement in the beach house, on the other side of her door and her gloomy mood was quickly replaced by a rising anger. Surely Garnet and Amethyst weren't going to try and come back to resume their television show after leaving her to break that news to Lapis alone? She strode over to the door and flung it open, ready to give them a piece of her mind and to perhaps throw something at them, only to see Steven stood by the kitchen sink. "Steven? Why are you awake?" she asked.

"Oh, hey Peri. I was just getting a glass of water. Did I disturb you?" He grinned sheepishly at her.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing." She took a few steps towards him, letting the door swing shut behind her. "It's one in the morning, you're usually asleep at this time."

"Yeah..." He sighed and looked away. "I was, but then I had a weird dream and it woke me up."

"A nightmare?" Peridot perked up. She knew exactly how to deal with nightmares. "Sit down and I'll make you some hot chocolate."

"That's not necess-" Steven began, but the kettle had already shot though the air and into her waiting arms, so he did as he was instructed and sat down and watched as she repeated the actions she'd observed him doing just a few short weeks earlier.

A few minutes later, she proudly placed a mug of hot chocolate in front of him. "Now tell me about it," she ordered, taking a seat opposite.

"It wasn't really a nightmare exactly..." Steven trailed off and looked down at his drink. He blinked and a small smile appeared on his face when he realized she'd arranged the marshmallows in the shape of a heart. The small gesture pushed away the last of the strange foreboding feeling and he straightened up. "It was just just... odd."

"Odd how?" she asked, taking a sip of her own drink. It tasted just as nice as the one Steven had made her and she silently congratulated herself for a job well done.

Steven stared at the melting heart in his drink, wondering exactly where to begin. "Well..." he began slowly, "I dreamed I was back in my corruption dream again. Towards the end, when I started to realize it was a loop. And so I tried to... to get out..." He began to stumble over his words as he tried to figure out how to phrase things, because so far, he'd managed to avoid telling anyone how he'd broken out.

"You had to kill me, didn't you?" Peridot said softly. His mouth dropped open in surprise and she smiled grimly. "I guessed. You seemed very relieved to see me when you woke up."

He closed his eyes and groaned. "I didn't want to do it, but it was like... she was the reason I wanted to stay and I had to reject that-"

"It's OK, Steven," Peridot interrupted gently. "I understand. She wasn't really me. She was... she was bait in a trap."

"Yes!" Steven sagged in relief. "That's exactly what she was!" He shivered slightly, remembering just how poisonously tempting the bait had been. "Anyway," he continued after a small sip of his drink, "in my dream, I picked up Mom's sword and went to poof you- her," he corrected. "But just before I did, she turned into Pink Diamond. And then when I stabbed her, she shattered and she was a mirror and suddenly _I_ was Pink Diamond. And... then I woke up."

"Oh." Peridot wrinkled her nose. " _That_ kind of odd."

"Yeah." He took another sip of his chocolate. "It's weird, I hadn't really thought about Pink Diamond for years. She was in my corruption dream too."

"Were all the Diamonds there?" Peridot asked curiously.

"Yeah, just for a little- wait, no, White Diamond wasn't there." He frowned. "Huh. I wonder why."

"Maybe because you've never met her?" Peridot suggested.

"Yeah, but I've never met Pink Diamond either," he reminded her.

"Well then... maybe it's because you _know_ more about Pink Diamond. So it _feels_ like you know her."

"Yeah, that could be it." He nodded slowly, thinking about the few details he'd managed to get over the years. "I know this was her first colony and she wouldn't listen to Mom when she asked her to leave it alone, so Mom shattered her. It's not much, but it's more than I know about White Diamond."

He looked hopefully at his girlfriend, but Peridot just shook her head. "Honestly, I know as much about her as you do," she admitted. "Before I came to Earth, I knew almost nothing about Blue Diamond and even less about White Diamond. As for Pink Diamond? Ha! Until I came here, I didn't even know she even ever _existed_!" She smiled bitterly. "I learned more about the Diamond Authority here than I did on my own planet. I can see now that they deliberately kept us ignorant. If we were allowed to _think_ , we might start asking _questions_ and they didn't want any more of that, not after the rebellion."

Steven snorted. "The Diamonds are assholes."

"No, no!" Peridot looked around quickly and then leaned forward and lowered her voice. "The Diamonds... are CLODS!" She sat back and smiled smugly as Steven burst out laughing. "Better?" she asked once he'd recovered his composure.

"Yeah." But as he drained the last of his drink and glanced up at his room, the warm, comforting feeling inside him began to fade. The dream really had quite unnerved him and he wasn't really in the mood to go back to sleep right then. "Fancy some company?" he asked abruptly, nodding towards her room. "I never finished that song I was working on, I could do that while you work on your drone plans."

Peridot frowned. "You should be asleep."

"I'm not tired," he protested and immediately revealed himself as a liar by yawning in her face. "OK, I'm a little tired," he admitted. "I guess I'm still a bit freaked out about having pretty much the same dream I got trapped in so soon after waking up."

"Hmm." Peridot glanced up at his room as well, once again recalling the time Steven had tried to help with her nightmares. "Do _you_ fancy some company?" she suddenly asked. "I don't mean in your dream," she quickly added as he stared at her. "I don't think it would be wise to try using your dream powers again so soon, but if you like, I- I could um, stay with you?"

Steven smiled softly at her. "I'd like that. Thanks, Peridot."

She smiled shyly back at him and then tore her eyes away, gulped down the rest of her drink and slid off the stool. "Come on, she said, taking a step towards the stairs.

"Aren't you going to change?"

Peridot paused and looked away. "I... I wasn't planning to," she muttered, plucking at a loose thread on one of the overhanging cuffs. "Is that a problem?"

Steven narrowed his eyes and looked at her outfit again. The baggy sweater that covered her hands and hung down to her knees, the green stockings of her default outfit... it wasn't the sort of thing Peridot usually wore nowadays. She rarely wore her default outfit unless she absolutely had to, favoring cute, flouncy dresses, strappy tops and shorts, and all manner of shoes. "Peridot... are you _hiding?_ "

"No," Peridot lied, not quite able to meet his eyes.

He gently took hold of her arm and pushed up the sleeve and looked at her speckled green skin. "It's because of your spots, isn't it?"

Peridot's shoulder's slumped. "They make me look so ugly," she muttered, pulling her arm free and pushing the fabric back down again.

"No they don't!" Steven argued at once.

"That's very nice of you to say so, but you have to admit, you are a little biased," Peridot said with a small, bitter smile. "Even on her crappy phone screen, Lapis spotted them at once. Oh, and by the way, she's very unhappy about our plan to cure Jasper."

Steven twitched, but otherwise ignored her attempt to change the subject. "I'm not saying I can't see them or anything like that," he said hesitantly, "I just don't agree that they make you look ugly. They make you look..." He paused and clicked his fingers, trying to think of the right words. "They're like, battle scars. They're a sign that you fought the Diamonds weapon and beat them. You're stronger than they are and those spots prove that."

Peridot looked down at her covered hands and then pushed up the fabric and stared at the dark green blemishes on her arms. "I beat them," she murmured. She hadn't considered that before, but he was right. She'd faced the Diamonds final weapon and survived.

"Yeah, you did." Steven smiled warmly at her and nodded towards the stairs. "Anyway. Don't worry about it, let's just go to bed."

"Wait." Peridot bit her lip. "I... I'm going to put my pajamas on."

She spun around and fled to her room before he could reply, and quickly changed into her pajamas. The television was still silently playing in the background, and when she leaned over to switch it off and caught sight of her reflection, she almost chickened out. Her pajamas were quite revealing, and there really were rather a lot of spots. She tugged at the hem of the shorts, trying to cover herself a little more, but quickly gave up, realizing if didn't step outside now, she never would. She was, after all, at least 97% sure Steven wasn't going to take one look at her and decide she was too spotty after all. Well. Maybe 96% sure. She took one last look at her reflection and grimaced. 95%. And a half.

She needn't have worried. When she nervously stepped back out into the darkened house, Steven was sat on his bed, waiting for her, and his eyes lit up at once. "You look great," he declared, scrambling back up to his feet and holding out a hand for her.

"Wow, thanks," she muttered. She stepped forward and, without thinking, tried to pull down the shorts again, and Steven's eyes softened.

"You know," he said quietly, "if you want, I could always try and heal them."

"Do you think that would work?" Peridot asked, more out of curiosity than anything else.

Steven shrugged and took her hand. "I'm happy to try," he said, and kissed her knuckles. Then they both leaned forward and waited. Was it their imagination, or were the spots just a little fainter now? It was difficult to tell in the dim moonlight.

"I think... yes, it's a little better," Peridot finally decided, holding her hand up to her face and carefully examining it from all angles.

"Great!" Steven grinned with relief. "Come here, I'll do the rest."

Peridot hesitated. "Are you sure? There are rather a lot of them."

"Then I'd better get started then, hadn't I?" And with that, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down on to the bed and set to work kissing all the spots he could find on her face, making her squeal with laughter.

He really had honestly only intended to give her a few kisses, just to cheer her up, and then go to sleep, but somehow they wound up getting carried away. Peridot stopped giggling and sighed happily as Steven kissed several spots on her collarbone. One of her legs slid between his. One of his hands skimmed lightly over her breast, and when she arched her back, pushing herself fully into his hand, his mind went blank. He vaguely remembered that they'd been planning to wait a little longer before going any further than this, but all of a sudden, he couldn't remember why. What better time was there than right now? He could show Peridot just how much he loved her and how little her scars bothered him.

He opened his mouth to ask her if she wanted to stop or not, but before he could say a word, they heard the unmistakable sound of the temple door opening. They both froze and stared at each other with wide-eyed panic, silently hoping whoever it was would just go away.

They didn't. Instead, they heard light footsteps approaching the stairs. They looked at each other in horror, then Peridot wriggled down beneath the covers, the tip of her fluffy blonde hair vanishing from sight just as whoever it was reached the top of the stairs, and Steven shut his eyes and pretended to be asleep.

"Steven..."

Pearl's quiet voice floated towards them, and Steven ignored it, hoping that if he didn't respond, she'd go away and leave them alone. Instead, to his horror, he felt her hand touch his shoulder. "Steven... are you awake?"

There was nothing else for it. He groaned and made a show of rolling over, kicking carefully at the blankets to try and hide what was going on underneath. "Whuuu?" he mumbled, rubbing his eyes theatrically and praying she wouldn't ask him to get up.

"Ah, Steven!" Pearl smiled widely and knelt down next to the bed. "Did I wake you?"

"Yes," he lied at once, sounding as grumpy as if she actually had.

"Oh good," she said happily.

That wasn't quite the response he'd expected and he blinked at her in confusion. "Sorry, what?"

"Nothing, nothing at all!" She stood up again. "I'll let you go back to sleep now."

"Wait, didn't you want something?" he asked without thinking, and tried not to flinch as Peridot's fingers dug painfully into his hips.

"No. I was just um..." She blushed and looked away. "Checking. I'll go now. Bye!"

He stared blankly after her as she skipped away, and then smushed his face into the pillow with a groan. Why hadn't he seen this coming? The gems had just spent several weeks trying to wake him up from a magic sleep coma, of course they'd be checking to make sure he was sleeping normally now. He was lucky they hadn't put a baby monitor in his room.

He waited a few more seconds until the sound of the temple door reached his ears, and only then did some of the tension leave his body. He carefully rolled over again and lifted up the blanket until he could see Peridot's eyes looking up at him in the darkness. "Hi," he whispered.

" _Is it safe?_ " she mouthed up at him.

"Yeah. All clear. Unless they _have_ put a baby monitor up here," he added, casting a suspicious look in the direction of his bedside table.

Peridot ignored that comment and pushed the covers aside so she could sit up. "I should go," she muttered. "Before Amethyst and Garnet come to check on you as well."

"Yeah." He sighed and briefly leaned his head on her shoulder. "They've probably got a schedule all worked out."

"Eugh." She shuddered, then twisted her head around to give him a quick kiss. "Sorry. I wish I could stay."

He smiled ruefully. "I wish you could stay as well."

She gave his hand a squeeze and then stood up. "Good night, Steven. I hope you sleep better now."

"'Night, Peridot."

He watched her walk down the stairs and back to her room before he lay back down and closed his eyes again, but it was a long time before he was able to fall asleep.

xxx

A/N: I'm so sorry this part took so long. I have no excuses, I simply fell out of the habit of writing every day.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Pearl opened the carton of eggs for the third time and then glanced up at Steven's room. "It's almost nine," she fretted, closing the carton again. "He should be awake by now. Why isn't he awake?"

"Because you woke him up three times in the night?" Amethyst suggested mildly.

"It was _one_ time," Pearl corrected irritably. Amethyst stared at her until she looked away with a blush. "All right, twice. But that was it! He should be awake now!"

"Don't worry," Garnet said. "I woke him up two hours ago, he's fine."

"He'd probably be awake by now if you'd all just left him alone," Peridot pointed out sourly as she poked at a circuit board with a soldering iron.

"Don't look at me," Amethyst objected. " _I_ didn't do anything." Then she smirked. "Didn't need to. I put a nannycam in MC Bear-Bear."

Three sets of eyes stared at her in silence until Peridot burned her thumb. "You are joking, right?" Garnet asked as Peridot swore loudly behind her.

Amethyst ignored the question and raised her eyebrows in Peridot's direction. "You kiss our baby boy with that mouth?"

"For goodness sake, hold it under the cold tap," Pearl snapped. "You _are_ joking, aren't you, Amethyst? You could've told us-"

"I'm joking, I'm joking!" Amethyst held her hands aloft in surrender. "I checked on him at three, just like you asked- you have to turn the tap _on!_ "

"Of course, now that you mention it, a nannycam might not be a bad idea..." Pearl mused aloud.

"We're not putting a nannycam in Steven's room!" Garnet said in exasperation. "He's eighteen years old, not eighteen months!"

"Good point. You might wind up with an accidental porno," Amethyst said solemnly, nodding her head in Peridot's direction.

Peridot didn't bother replying, choosing to simply glower at the other gem as she made a mental note to dismember all the stuffed animals in Steven's room.

Meanwhile, Steven had given up trying to sleep any more and sat up with a loud groan. "What's all the noise about?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"The gems are just deciding which one of your bears they should put a nannycam in," Peridot said before anyone could stop her.

"No we're not!" Pearl objected, although the blush on her face did little to convince him.

"It's just Amethyst's idea of a joke," Garnet added, glaring at the gem in question.

"Yeah," Amethyst said placidly. "Don't worry, we're not monsters, none of us were really going to do that. Right, _Pearl?_ " she added pointedly.

Pearl ignored her and smiled brightly up at her foster son. "How are you feeling this morning, Steven?"

"Honestly? Not great," he said at once, climbing to his feet. "Look, I get that you guys are worried about me after what happened, but I'm half-human. I _need_ to sleep, you can't keep waking me up half a dozen times a night. You have to trust me when I say I'm not going to use my dream powers."

"OK, but in our defense, the first time you told us you were having a nap, you left out the bit where it was gonna take three days," Amethyst pointed out.

Steven opened his mouth and then shut it again. "All right, you got me there. But it _was_ an emergency, and Peridot's cured now."

He immediately wished he'd kept his mouth shut as everyone turned to stare at Peridot, who blushed and pretended to be completely absorbed in the task of drying her hands.

"I don't know..." Pearl mused aloud. "She's still very spotty-"

"She's not deaf though," Peridot snapped.

"We're sorry, Steven," Garnet butted in before a row could break out. "We were just worried about you, but I suppose we did go a little over the top. It won't happen again."

Steven smiled with relief. "Thanks, guys."

He gathered up a clean set of clothes and disappeared into the bathroom while Pearl finally began making breakfast. "So what's the plan for the day?" he asked when he reappeared. "You're all going to the Kindergarten, right?"

"That's correct." Peridot picked up her soldering iron again. "Pearl has informed me that they began work on the drill while we were- indisposed, but I need to check and make sure everything is up to standard," she said, oblivious to the look of irritation on Pearl's face. "And of course, we'll also be installing the security drones."

"Once you've finished soldering them to your hands," Pearl muttered under her breath, thankfully too quiet for anyone else to hear.

"You gonna come with us, Stee-man?" Amethyst asked.

He shook his head. "I'll join you later, I'm gonna go see Dad, he wanted to show me the work he did with the song." He narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "Might take a nap while I'm there."

"Jeez, all right, we get it!" Amethyst punched him on the arm, making him wince. "We'll stop waking you up in the night." She gave him an evil grin. "We'll just watch you sleep instead."

"No we won't," Garnet said firmly. "Bye, Steven, we'll see you later."

He watched them all step onto the warp pad and disappear, and after he'd finished eating, he grabbed his phone, wallet and keys and stepped outside onto the deck. He'd just reached the bottom of the stairs when he heard a soft _whoosh_ behind him and spun around just in time to see Lapis land gently on the sand. "Hi, Steven!"

"Lapis!" He ran back and gave her a hug. "What are you doing back? Have you finished looking at rude places?"

"Nah." She reached out and ruffled his hair. "I was just passing by on my way to Bare Bum and I thought I'd stop by and say hi." She paused for a moment. "Hi."

Steven laughed and then shook his head. "Aww, it's a shame you weren't here like, five minutes sooner, you _just_ missed the others."

"Shame," Lapis repeated, not even pretending to sound like she meant it. "So anyway, how are you?" she asked. "Peridot said something about corruption?"

"Oh, yeah! OK, so you know that computer in the Kindergarten? Well..."

And as they walked across the beach, Steven told her the story of his and Peridot's corruption. Lapis listened intently and shook her head in stunned disbelief when he finally finished. "Wow. That's just... wow."

"Yeah, it was an experience, all right," Steven said dryly. Then he perked up. "But we have a cure now, isn't that great!?"

"Great," Lapis said cautiously. "So... you're going to try curing some of the corrupted gems then?"

Steven gave her a sidelong look as he remembered what Peridot had said the night before. "That's the plan. And yes, that does include Jasper."

Lapis scowled and shook her head. "I can't believe you've even seriously considering it, you know what she's like, you know what she did to me! She won't thank you, you know, she'll turn on you at once."

"Then we'll fight her," Steven shot back. "And we'll win. Again." Seeing that she still looked upset, he sighed and shook his head. "Look, Lapis, I know you hate her, but corruption is awful. I know we'll probably have to poof her and bubble her again, but I'd feel a lot better about it if she was cured first. Besides, it's not like we're planning on curing her immediately, we're gonna try it on some of the old Crystal Gems first."

"Great. If you're really lucky, they might not even try to kill you," Lapis said sarcastically.

Steven rolled his eyes. "Everyone's tried to kill me. _You_ tried to kill me."

Lapis had the good grace to blush at that comment and quickly moved on. "So... where are they going to live?"

Steven slowed to a halt. He had no answer to that, curing the corrupted gems had been the only thing he'd thought about. Beyond that, he didn't have a clue. "Uhh..."

"I guess they could always live in your bathroom," Lapis said slyly, giving him a nudge.

Steven laughed and shook his head as he began walking again. "No, nobody else is living in my bathroom! I need it! No, I'll talk to the gems, there's gotta be some suitable gem structures still left they can live in. And-" He stopped abruptly.

Lapis tilted her head curiously. "What?"

He shook his head again. He'd been about to mention that Bismuth had said she built spires and temples before joining the Crystal Gems... but Bismuth was bubbled. He was suddenly struck by just how unfair that was. Here he was, talking about unbubbling Jasper when Bismuth was still bubbled with no plan to change that. True, she'd tried to kill him, but like he'd said, everyone had tried to kill him. Even Peridot had tried to kill him. Even Pearl had come close on more than one occasion. "Uh, nothing," he lied. "I was just gonna say, it's not like we're gonna unbubble a hundred gems at once, we're gonna try it out on one or two to start with. I mean, we don't even know if the song will work the same way on them. But I'll talk to the gems anyway."

"Ah, OK." Lapis nodded slowly. "Well, just warn me when you're about to unbubble Jasper."

"So you can come and help us if she gets out of control?" he asked hopefully.

"So I can get as far away from this place as possible," she corrected. "Maybe I'll visit Uranus that day."

They stopped in front of the ramp that led off the beach and up to the Big Donut. "Well, I'm heading over to Dad's place now, do you wanna come with me?" he asked politely, not really expecting her to agree.

Sure enough, she shook her head. "No, that's OK, I really just wanted to see how you were, I'd better head off now. But tell everyone I said hi!"

"I will," he promised. And with that, she unfurled her wings and took off, leaving him standing alone on the sand. He waved until she was out of sight, and then began walking again, pausing briefly outside the Big Donut as he wondered whether to buy a coffee to wake himself up. Best not to, he decided. He wasn't entirely sure how Mindy managed to ruin plain filtered coffee, but she did. He'd have a fancy, flavored coffee when he got to his dad's house. And maybe later on he really would have a nap.

For a split second, he considered the possibility of calling Peridot and inviting her to join him. It might not be the most restful nap ever, but it certainly would be a pleasant one. Then again, maybe not. The last time they'd tried anything at his dad's place, every single one of the Crystal Gems had shown up and interrupted them. No, what they needed was a vacation. Somehow he'd have to find a way to ask his dad if he could have some money to take Peridot away so they could finally make love to each other. Without actually saying any of those words. Not that he was scared to say the word 'sex' or anything, he'd once read somewhere that if you couldn't bring yourself to say it, you probably weren't ready to do it, but he figured that probably meant more like with your partner rather than your parents. He hoped so, anyway. He'd rather eat an entire box of Amethyst's mayonnaise donuts than talk about sex with any of his parent-figures, and he suspected they probably felt the same way.

It didn't take him long to reach his father's house and Greg welcomed him enthusiastically. "Come on in, kiddo!" he said, stepping aside so Steven could enter. "You hungry? I just made pancakes."

"Hmm... I already had some eggs, but I could go for pancakes too," Steven decided. He had, after all, missed breakfast for several weeks.

Greg grinned and began heading back towards the kitchen. "I thought you might. And then I'll show you the studio. I brought some new equipment, audio interface, an outboard compressor and a couple of filters, that sort of thing."

"Ooooooh, neat!" Steven's eyes went starry at the prospect of new music equipment to tinker with. He really would have to hurry up and finish writing the song he was working on so he'd have an excuse to come over and play with it all.

Greg began serving up pancakes and watched as his son made straight for the coffee machine and started making a rocket fuel espresso. "Uh, did you sleep OK?"

"Not really," Steven admitted. "The gems woke me up half a dozen times last night just to make sure they could."

"Ah." Greg nodded in understanding. "Can't say I really blame them."

Steven smiled ruefully. "Yeah, me neither. Still, while I'm here, do you mind if I take a nap for a couple of hours?"

"Of course I don't mind," Greg said at once. "Sleep as long as you need. Within reason," he couldn't help adding.

Steven caught his eye and grinned sheepishly. "I'll set an alarm," he promised. "Now let's eat!"

They ate in companionable peace for the new few minutes, and had just began gathering up the dishes when there was a knock at the door. "Ah, that's probably the mail," Greg said, putting a half-drunk glass of orange juice on the kitchen counter. "I'll be right back."

Steven nodded absently and started loading the dishwasher. "Hmm. Half full or half empty?" he mused aloud, reaching for the discarded glass. It was a question immediately answered by the cosmos when he somehow managed to knock it over, sending a stream of juice across the counter, straight towards a stack of paperwork.

He lunged forward with a squawk and just managed to yank it all out of the way before it was ruined. "Whew! Thank goodness for super speed," he mumbled, idly flicking through the papers to make sure none of them were damaged. Then, as his eyes drifted across the pages, he suddenly realized what he was looking at and stiffened. "Summary of- what the hell is all this stuff? Lab, hematology, diagnostics, ECG monitor- _how_ much!?"

He read each line with mounting horror until he reached the bottom, which outlined the total cost of his recent stay at Beach City General. Then he read it again. Then he reached for a chair, missed, and sat down heavily on the floor.

"Eh, nothing interesting, mostly junk- Steven!"

The leaflets slipped out of Greg's grasp and fell to the floor as he rushed forward to his son's side. "Are you OK, son?" he asked urgently. "Are you hurt? Do you need a doctor?"

"No!" Steven shook his head quickly. "No doctors!"

"What? Why-" Greg's eyes slid to the crumpled bill in Steven's hand and suddenly understood. "Ah jeez. I meant to put that away before you got here."

"It's so expensive," Steven said in a low voice. "Why is it so expensive? Did I lose you all your money?"

"What!? No!" Greg laughed incredulously. "OK, I'll admit it's a lot of money, but it's OK, I _have_ a lot of money. Well, I guess I might have to switch to store-brand caviar for a little while, but it'll be fine."

Steven pursed his lips, unconvinced. "Really?"

"Really," Greg reassured him. "Garnet's given me some good financial advice in the last few years, I actually have more money now than I did when Marty first gave me that check."

"So I haven't bankrupted you?" Steven checked.

"Not even close." Greg reached out and helped his son back onto his feet before smiling warmly at him and giving him a pat on the shoulder. "But you know what? Even if the bill _did_ cost all my money, I still wouldn't care. I'd go back to living in the van in a heartbeat if it meant you were safe and healthy."

Steven tried to smile, but somehow that statement hadn't been as reassuring as Greg had intended, and as he followed his father out of the kitchen and into the studio, he knew there was no way he could ask his father to pay for a vacation now.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Several hours later, after waking up from another odd Pink Diamond dream, Steven warped into the Kindergarten to look for the others. They hadn't said exactly where they'd be, but it seemed like a safe bet that they'd be somewhere near the underground control room, so he set off in that direction.

Sure enough, he'd only walked a short distance down the path when a drone suddenly zoomed in front of him. "HALT. YOU ARE ENTERING A RESTRICTED AREA. LEAVE NOW OR YOU WILL BE VAPORIZED."

A small red dot suddenly shone upon his chest and he froze. It suddenly occurred to him that he'd only told Peridot to make her security system non-lethal. He hadn't said anything about non-painful. "Whoa, hey, it's me, Steven!" he squeaked, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm allowed!"

There were a few tense seconds as the drone seemed to contemplate this, then to his relief, the light vanished. "SUBJECT IDENTIFIED AS STEVEN QUARTZ UNIVERSE, SECURITY CLEARANCE RATING: AAA. PROCEED."

"Ooookay... thank you," he said, warily skirting around it. He didn't quite like to turn his back on it in case it changed its mind and kneecapped him or something, so it was almost a relief when it zoomed away and vanished from sight again. Almost. He continued forward, his eyes darting around for any sign of it, and it wasn't until he heard voices that he began to relax. He turned a corner and there were the gems, all looking expectantly in his direction, and soon as she spotted him, Peridot ran to him, a wide grin on her face.

"Steven! What did you think of the drone?" she asked as soon as she close.

"Pretty intimidating," he answered honestly.

"Good," she said smugly, and slipped her hand into his as they walked back to the other gems. "My intention is for it to scare away intruders before resorting to any additional security measures."

"Did you like the laser pointer?" Amethyst called out. "That was my idea!"

"It's not a weapon?" he checked, nudging Peridot as she laughed. "So what _are_ these additional security measures then?"

"Well, there's a camera inside linked to my tablet, so I can observe and judge whether further action is needed," she explained, holding the tablet out so he could see the gloomy walls of the Kindergarten on the screen. "I don't want to waste an electrical discharge on a bird or something."

"A non-lethal electrical discharge?" he checked.

"Of course, that's what you specified," she said, looking mildly offended.

"Buzzkill," Amethyst muttered from somewhere behind him.

"It should be enough to convince most intruders to turn back," Peridot continued, ignoring the other gem. "For the more stubborn interlopers, I have also included a small amount of sleeping gas. Once deployed, we should have plenty of time to come out here and remove them from the area before they wake up. And if any attempt is made to damage the drone, it will self-destruct, releasing further sleeping gas."

That all sounded harmless enough, and Steven relaxed. "Sounds cool."

"It's almost a shame it'll never get used," Garnet said, handing Peridot a spanner.

"Yeah, this place is deader than my collection of fossilized dodo eggs," Amethyst joked. "Seriously, I haven't seen a human here since... well, ten seconds ago when Steven showed up, but other than _that,_ I think I've only ever seen one human here ever."

"That's fine," Peridot said placidly. "The drones are powered by pieces of the broken power source from the control room, they'll run indefinitely. And we can always move them someplace else when we're done here."

"How about the outside the house?" Pearl suggested at once, visibly brightening at the prospect.

"The mailman might have some objections," Garnet pointed out. Then she paused thoughtfully. "Outside the house it is then."

" _Not_ outside the house," Steven said firmly and quickly changed the subject. "So how's it going with the drill? When do you think it'll be ready? Next month?"

"Actually, it'll probably be done by the end of the week," Pearl said, looking at Peridot, who nodded in confirmation.

Steven's mouth dropped open. "Wow, that's fast!"

"Well," Pearl said modestly, "It helps that we've done this once before already."

"It also helps that this time, the escape pod wasn't torn in half," Amethyst added. "I dunno why we didn't think of using a new one the first time round."

" _I_ thought of it," Garnet said mildly. "I just didn't trust Peridot around the wreckage of the ship."

Peridot scowled and looked away. "I suppose I probably would've tried to access the communications system," she admitted. "Or the weapons."

"Can I do anything to help?" Steven asked quickly. "Like fetch a drill head or something?"

"Thank you Steven, but that won't be necessary. Opal can take care of that," Garnet said. "Tomorrow," she added, and placed her tools aside. "I think we're about done here for today."

The others followed Garnet's lead, and after they'd tidied their tools away and secured the drill, they all made their way back to the warp pad and returned to the beach house, where Pearl made straight for the kitchen. "Can I fix you something to eat, Steven?"

"Uhh..." Steven hesitated. "Thanks, but not right now. Me and Peridot are gonna go for a walk."

Peridot looked mildly surprised by this statement, but she allowed Steven to lead her out of the house and down on to the beach, where they walked slowly through the surf, hand in hand.

"So..." Steven said, breaking the silence. "The end of the week, huh?"

"The gems got a lot more work done in our absence than I expected," Peridot admitted. "It doesn't give us a lot of time to prepare though."

"No, I guess not." Steven hesitated, and then opened his mouth to tell her about the hospital bill, but before he could, she started talking again.

"Do you plan to practice while we're working on the drill tomorrow?"

"P-practice?" Steven stammered, taken aback. "What? How?"

"The... same way as last time?" Peridot said, looking as confused as he felt. "By bubbling very large strawberries?"

"Oh." The penny dropped. "Oh! You meant practice sending bubbles!"

"Of course that's what I meant!" Peridot stared at him as he started to laugh. "What else would I have meant?"

"I thought you meant... our vacation..." Steven said between giggles.

Peridot looked blankly at him for a moment longer, then her eyes widened and she started to laugh as well. "Noooo! No, you can't do _that_ to the strawberries!"

His stomach was starting to hurt from laughing so much, so with valiant effort, Steven took a few deep breaths until he managed to get himself back under control, because he really did need to talk to her. The hospital bill obligingly flittered through his brain and he sobered up at once. "Listen, Peridot, about that vacation..." he began, linking his fingers with hers as they began walking again.

"Yes?" she said, smiling hopefully up at him at once.

Steven bit his lip, trying to figure out the best way to break the news. "I... I couldn't ask my dad for the money," he finally said.

"Oh." Disappointment flashed across her face, but it was gone in an instant. "That's OK, there's still time-"

"It wasn't because I was too scared to ask," he interrupted. "It's because the bill for my hospital stay was nine hundred and forty-eight thousand dollars. And seventeen cents."

"What!?" Peridot's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "You're joking me!"

"I wish I was." He shook his head glumly. "But I'd never been in hospital before- heck, I've never even had a regular doctor's appointment, so the cost just never occurred to me. Doesn't help that Lion vaporized something important," he added ruefully. "If I'd known it would cost so much, I... well, I still would've done it anyway, but I might've warned the gems first, y'know, told them not to panic and to keep me at home."

Peridot frowned. "That would've been detrimental to your physical health. They would've done taken you to the hospital anyway."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Steven sighed. "Well anyway, after finding out it cost almost a million bucks to stay in ICU for a week, I didn't feel right asking for money so we could go away and have sex."

"Hmm." Peridot wrinkled her nose. "Did you consider _not_ phrasing it like that?" Then she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "It doesn't matter. We don't really need a vacation, we just need some privacy."

Then they both fell silent because of course, privacy had become an increasingly rare commodity recently. Steven racked his brains, trying to thing of somewhere they could go. "What about your room?" he tentatively suggested. Privately he thought it would be too close to the main house for comfort, but they had been able to snatch a few moments alone there in the past. Perhaps if they were quiet...

But Peridot was already shaking her head. "There's no lock on the new door," she said gloomily. "It wasn't considered a priority. To be quite honest," she added, "I think the only reason they installed a new door at all is because I made a point of changing my clothes in the doorway."

Steven grinned. "You could've waited until I was home first."

"They would've locked me in instead," Peridot joked. Then she bit her lip thoughtfully. "What about the bathroom? There's a lock on _that_ door."

"No," Steven said flatly. "I want our first time together to be someplace a _little_ more romantic than the bathroom."

"We could light some candles," she said halfheartedly, then shook her head. "No, I suppose I don't really want our first time to be in the bathroom either." For one thing, it was far too close to the other gems. She could quite easily imagine Amethyst waiting outside to give them a round of applause. "Could we warp somewhere?"

Steven thought for a moment, trying to remember all the places the warp pads led to. "I dunno... they're all ruins or abandoned battlefields and stuff like that. And you deserve luxury, silk sheets and flower petals and a view overlooking a mountainside in spring," he said, going misty-eyed as his imagination started running wild. "And then afterwards we'd go outside and lay down in the grass while light rain falls on our naked bodies as we watch the sun set-"

"While it's raining?" Peridot raised an eyebrow at him. That said, she had to admit his vision did sound appealing, although she wasn't entirely sure where they were going to find a place like that- "Oh!" she gasped, and waved her hands in excitement. "What about _your_ room? The one in the temple?" she clarified as he looked blankly at her. "It can make whatever you want, right? So it should be able to make all of that! Even the sunset in the rain!"

Steven opened his mouth to protest and then closed it again. It would've been the perfect solution if it wasn't for one small problem. "I dunno..." he said again. "I don't trust the room. It seems to do what it _thinks_ I want rather than what I actually _say_ I want. I don't want it to force you do something because it thinks I want it."

"Well..." Peridot thought hard. "What if you told it to only obey your verbal commands? You could even incorporate a keyword, and only commands containing that word could be followed."

"You mean give my room a safe word," Steven quipped.

"The word is 'clod'" Peridot replied at once.

Steven grinned and nudged her fondly. "I guess that could maybe work though? It's always been a bit weird about doing what I want even before it started reading my mind, but maybe a safe word could fix that. But maybe we should test it first before we try and, y'know, do it. Just in case."

"Just in case?" Peridot repeated with a cackle of laughter. "Why, what do you think it'll do, create an audience like your dreams did?"

"Hey, don't laugh, I'm serious," Steven admonished. "Me and Connie once went in there to make up a new ending for Unfamiliar Familiar and it made a whole extra Connie when I wasn't looking and I didn't figure it out for ages. And then she beat me up and sat on me until I finally told the real Connie I'd liked the original ending- stop laughing, it's not funny!"

"Sorry, sorry." Peridot wiped her eyes and tried her very best to stop smirking. "I suppose you have a point, I'd be very upset if the room made another me and you didn't notice. Although..." She started smirking again. "Two Stevens could be fun."

Steven couldn't help laughing at that. "Maybe not. Last time there were more of me, I had to kill them. It's not really an experience I wanna repeat."

"Maybe not then," Peridot agreed. "So... you know your room better than I do. How do you suggest we test it?"

"Hmm." Steven slowed to a halt and stared out at the ocean, deep in thought. "I guess... I could ask it to make a place for us to have a date and we can see-" He broke off. "No, we should decide how far we wanna go before we go in there. I don't want it to make you do anything you don't want to do." He narrowed his eyes and looked down at her. " _Is_ there anything in particular you don't wanna do?"

Peridot smiled and leaned her head against him. "I want to do everything with you. I trust your judgment."

Steven blinked and then grinned shyly. "Wow. I'm honored. Although that's not really very helpful right now," he added under his breath. Peridot might trust him, but he wasn't entirely sure _he_ did. His traitorous mind was already running through a number of increasingly X-rated scenarios and what if the room didn't behave? Really, perhaps it would be safer if he just didn't do anything- "Oh!" He snapped his fingers, suddenly inspired. "What if you just like, _show_ me what you like?"

"Y-you mean..." A dark green blush spread across her face as she tried to figure out if he was really suggesting what she thought he was. "T-touch myself? In front of you?"

"You don't have to," Steven backpeddled at once, feeling his own cheeks starting to burn. "Not if you don't want to-"

"I want to," Peridot blurted out, blushing harder.

Steven's mouth continued moving, but it was several seconds before his voice caught up. "Right! Great!" he squeaked. "Awesome!" He stopped and took a deep breath and tried to think of something a little more productive to say. "So um, when- when do you wanna do this?"

Peridot bit her lip and then smiled shyly. "If we intend to test the limits of the room before the end of the week, we'd better get started as soon as possible, hadn't we?


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Pearl's tuna casserole was a delicious taste sensation, and Steven almost felt guilty for not giving the meal his full attention. But coming up with the perfect setting for the room was far more important. After all, he'd eaten tuna casserole many times before, but _this_ was going to be a first. It had to be perfect. He needed to come up with something romantic and relaxing and fun, to put Peridot at ease, but also something they could enjoy together if she changed her mind. But definitely something primarily for her. For a few minutes, he seriously contemplated asking the room to recreate the set of Camp Pining Hearts, but ultimately rejected the idea. The characters were really the most interesting part of the show, and he had no intention of letting Percy, Paulette and Pierre tag along on their date and without them, they might as well just go camping in the woods for real. Except not really, because the woods were full of dirt and bugs and weird noises. So maybe camping in the room _was_ an option after all, because then he could eliminate those annoyances. But how were they even going to get into the room in the first place without everyone asking awkward questions-

"Steven? Is everything all right?"

Pearl's voice jolted him out of his thoughts and he belated realized he'd been sitting there with a fork of noodles halfway to his mouth for twenty seconds. "Oh, no, I'm fine!" he quickly reassured her before popping the food into his mouth. "Just, y'know, thinking. What are you guys up to this evening?" he asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Oh, Garnet's gone out somewhere and Amethyst and I are going to play cards," Pearl answered, nodding over at the other gem. "She's offered to teach me a new game. Would you and Peridot like to join us?" she asked.

"Yeah, it's gonna be fun!" Amethyst enthused, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "I'm gonna teach her Cards Against Humanity," she hissed in his ear.

Steven choked back a snort of laughter. "It's a tempting offer," he said truthfully. "But we're going on a date."

"Oh." A momentary flicker of disappointment passed over Pearl's features, but she quickly forced a smile onto her face. "Well. Have a nice time."

"Yeah, but not too nice," Amethyst teased, giving him a friendly nudge. "So where are you taking her?"

"Uh, dunno yet," he said a little self-consciously. "That's what I was thinking about."

"Ooh, I know, take her to a haunted house!" Amethyst suggested at once. "Chicks _love_ haunted houses!"

"Really?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yeah, totally!" To his horror, she glowed and then shifted into Peridot's form. "She'll start off going 'Steven, this is a completely illogical pursuit, there's no evidence to corroborate the existence of ghosts,'" she declared, pacing up and down in front of him. "Then BAM! Some guy dressed as Sadako jumps out the shadows and suddenly it's all 'oooh Steven I'm so scared, hold me in your big, strong manly arms!'" And with that, she leapt towards him, only to find herself crashing to the floor at his feet as he hastily stepped backwards. "OK. Life hack, it works better when you don't drop her."

"I'll bear that in mind," Steven said dryly. "In the meantime, would you mind not doing what you're doing?"

"Of course, there are two small flaws with that suggestion," Pearl said as Amethyst rolled her eyes and shifted back into her default form. "First of all, there's no haunted houses anywhere around here. Second of all, that's because ghosts don't exist."

"Well yeah, that's why I specified 'guy _dressed_ as Sadako' and not actual Sadako," Amethyst pointed out. "But I suppose it is the wrong time of year for haunted houses," she grudgingly conceded.

Steven suddenly realized that this was exactly the opening he needed. "Oh, actually, I was thinking, because I don't wanna spend a lot of money at the moment, we might um, just stay in my room." He felt his cheeks starting to heat up as they both turned to look at him, but he carried on talking. "Because it can make anything, obviously. So if we wanted to visit a haunted house, it could make one that was _really_ haunted. Although I probably won't," he finished.

"Yeah, real Sadako could be a bit of a mood killer," Amethyst acknowledged. "And a real Steven killer. But you could still have the fake one," she said hopefully.

"No, I don't think so," Steven said firmly. "I want something nicer. What about you, Pearl, got any suggestions?"

"Oh, ah, erhem," Pearl stammered, caught off guard. "Er... what about a concert?"

"Yeah!" Amethyst agreed enthusiastically. "You could get the room to make actual Ed Sheeran to sing Perfect seventy-one times in a row." She started laughing and even Pearl found herself hiding a smile behind her hand.

"Interesting suggestion. I will not be doing that," Steven said dryly. He tuned out the laughter, picked up his fork and tried to think some more. The room could make anything. So what would Peridot enjoy doing?

All at once, the answer came to him. "Mmph!" he mumbled, flapping his hands, torn between his desire to blurt out his idea and his desire not to choke on his food. After a few second of frantic chewing, he managed to swallow and pushed his plate away. "I know what I wanna do, I have to go and practice it first quickly thanks for dinner Pearl bye!" And before Amethyst and Pearl could react, he dashed into the temple and out of sight.

Inside the room, all was calm. Pink clouds drifted across the sky/ceiling and covered the ground in all directions, as far as he could see. The only thing that looked out of place was the pile of boxes that belonged to Lapis. And as soon as that thought crossed his mind, there was a faint _pop_ and they vanished.

"Ah," he said, and then stood up a little straighter and folded his arms. "Right. OK room, it's time to lay down some ground rules. And first of all, I want you to stop doing that thing where you try and read my mind, it's creepy and you keep getting it wrong. So from now on, I want you to only obey my verbal commands, OK?"

He waited. Nothing happened.

"Um... so, room, give me a sign you understand me."

There was another _pop_ and the tiny whale suddenly appeared in front of him. "Understood," it said blandly.

Steven exhaled in relief and nodded. "Good. That's good. OK. So, um, next, I also only want you to obey my commands when I give you a keyword. And that word is..." He hesitated and tried to think of a different one, but nothing came to mind. "Ah, what the heck. The keyword is clod. So room, give me a sign that you understand."

He waited. The tiny whale stayed silent.

"Clod."

"Understood," the whale said at once.

"Yes!" Steven did a small and rather undignified victory dance before collecting himself. "OK room, listen up. This is what I want you to do..."

xxx

Meanwhile, Peridot was in her own room, trying to decide what to wear. Specifically, what underwear to wear. The panties she was currently wearing were decorated with little snowflakes, and while they were cute, they didn't quite fit the mood she was aiming for. She stirred the contents of her underwear drawer, discarding ones decorated with bats, fish and Pokeballs until she found a plain, black pair. But were they too plain? Too dark? Rejected. A red pair of panties. Red underwear was supposed to be sexy, right? But did it clash too much with her green skin? Rejected. Thong? Rejected. She'd worn it once for half an hour before changing into something that didn't make her feel like she was being sawed in half. It wasn't exactly a sexy feeling.

She picked up the last pair of panties, navy blue and decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars, and rejected them for being navy blue and decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars. Nothing was suitable. She had nothing to wear.

For a moment, she seriously considered not wearing any underwear at all. After all, if everything went as intended, she wouldn't need panties for long. But what if she stepped out of her room and a freak gust of wind blew up her skirt and Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl saw and guessed she was planning sexy shenanigans with their foster son? It was an unlikely scenario, but it _could_ happen.

All at once, her mind was filled with doubts. What if she took off her clothes and Steven took one look at her naked, spotty body and decided she was hideous after all? What if the room really did make another Peridot, a prettier, smarter, better Peridot and he liked her more? What if he wanted the other Peridot to join in? What if she made weird faces? What if she made weird noises? Or worst of all, what if she couldn't do it with him watching and the whole thing ended up being awkward and uncomfortable for both of them-

She clenched her fists, straightened up and glared at her reflection in the TV screen. "Peridot Facet 2F5L, you are being unreasonable and illogical," she told herself sternly. "Steven loves you. He has proven that on several occasions, and if you really think he's going to change his mind because of a few spots, then he deserves a better girlfriend that _you._ " She continued to glare at herself for a moment, then her expression softened. Of course she didn't really doubt Steven. She was just nervous. Even her search for the perfect pair of panties was more an excuse to procrastinate than anything else. "Steven won't make you do anything you don't want to do," she reminded herself. "If you get in that room and decide you don't want to do this, that's perfectly fine."

But... she did want to. _That_ was what really scared her. Even though she'd lived on Earth for several years now, knowing that she had the freedom to do whatever she wanted still sometimes frightened her. Surely there had to be a limit to how much happiness and self-indulgence she could wallow in, it couldn't possibly be allowed to continue forever!

But of course, she reminded herself, it _wouldn't_ be allowed to continue forever. One day soon, the Diamonds would come for the Cluster and the peace would end. Brutally and painfully. Therefore, the only logical course of action was to enjoy the time she had left as much as possible. Starting with tonight.

And so she picked up a pair of white panties she'd previously rejected for being boring, changed into a pale yellow dress and matching sandals, and stepped out of her room. Amethyst and Pearl were still loitering in the kitchen, but there was no sign of Steven. She glanced towards the temple door. "Is he in there?" she asked.

"Yep, thinking up a haunted house for your date," Amethyst said cheerfully.

"A... haunted house?" Peridot blinked and gave her a quizzical look. "I'm sorry, a what?"

"It's not a haunted house," Pearl reassured her. "Probably."

"A real spooky one," Amethyst continued with relish, ignoring Pearl and throwing an arm around Peridot's shoulders. "Gonna knock the spots right off of you."

Peridot scowled and stepped aside, brushing Amethyst's arm away. "I'll pass," she said stiffly.

"It's not a haunted house!" Pearl said again in exasperation. She glanced at Amethyst and then sighed. "Probably. Just... enjoy your date."

"Thanks," Peridot muttered and headed for the door, silently vowing that if Steven had indeed conjured up a haunted house, she would go straight back to her own room and spend her evening sulking in front of the television instead.

She knocked, and the door split open. Steven poked his head out warily, then grinned when he saw her. "Hey! You ready?"

"...Yes," she said slowly, and tried to peer around him to see what was inside the room. "Unless it's a haunted house."

"It's not a haunted house," Steven said firmly, and stepped aside to let her pass. "I mean, I guess the real one could be haunted, I Googled it to make sure I got it right and it's like, a thousand years old, so it wouldn't surprise me if it was. But this one isn't."

Peridot shot him a look of confusion, but then her eyes slid past him and locked onto the palace and the glass pyramid. "The Louvre?"

"Yep!" Steven smiled proudly. "I know how much you like art."

"Yes, but..." Peridot trailed off, still a little confused. True, she'd always wanted to go to the famous art gallery, which was just a little too far from a warp pad to visit easily, but it was still a real location they could travel to at any time and although she'd never admit it aloud, she had been expecting something a little more unique. "Yes, I suppose Earth does have the advantage over Homeworld in this area," she said instead, trying to force a little more enthusiasm into her voice.

"Well, I also know you think there's a few old pieces that could be, y'know, cleaned up, improved upon, that sort of thing," Steven continued, beginning to smirk. "So. The first thing we are going to do here... is paint eyebrows on the Mona Lisa."

"What!" A thrill ran down her spine and Peridot quickly looked around to make sure none of the nearby tourists were listening to them. "Steven, we can't! We'll get in trouble!"

"Not in here," he assured her, and took her hand. "Come on!"

And so with a lot more enthusiasm, she allowed herself to be led into the museum. Steven's quick skim of Wikipedia hadn't really enabled the room to come up with a particularly authentic recreation of the place, but as she'd never been there herself, it didn't really matter that nothing was where it was supposed to be, and she didn't question it at all when they walked straight through a single door and found themselves face to face with an larger-than-life copy of the most famous painting in the world.

For several seconds, they just stood there and stared at it. "I see what you mean about the eyebrows," Steven finally said. "Or rather, I _don't_ see."

Peridot leaned forward a little more and examined Mona Lisa's brow critically. "It would such a _simple_ fix," she grumbled. "But no, nobody's allowed to correct it because then it would be worth less money. Hmph! Money! Such an inefficient system!" she scoffed.

The enormous hospital bill popped into Steven's head and he shuddered. "You're telling me. So, what do you need for this?" he asked.

Peridot gazed at the painting for a little longer before coming to a decision. "Paint and a paintbrush."

"Really?" Steven asked in surprise. "Huh. I thought you'd need more than that. Something to remove the varnish, at least."

"Oh, yes, some of that too," Peridot quickly added, and blushed as Steven stared at her. "OK, if I must be _entirely_ honest, I don't actually know how to restore a painting like this. But that doesn't matter," she quickly continued. "Because I _just_ want to paint some eyebrows on her."

Steven laughed and gave her a quick kiss. "Wait here. I'll just have a quick look in that storeroom over there," he said, pointing to a door further down the wall. "I'm sure it'll have everything you need." Then as he walked away, he said under his breath, "room, make sure there's everything Peridot needs in the storeroom. Clod."

The room obliged beyond expectations, and he returned to her a few moments later with not only paint and a brush, but also a palette, a jar of some smelly liquid, presumably for removing varnish, a cloth, a step ladder and an old fashion beret he immediately placed on top of her pointy hair. "It's all ready for you, madame artiste," he said with a terrible accent and a theatrical bow.

Peridot laughed and began squirting oil paint onto the palette. "And I even have my muse," she quipped as she began climbing the ladder.

"Am I really your muse then?" Steven asked, enormously cheered by that statement.

Peridot flushed and quickly turned her attention back to the painting. "Some of my work may have been inspired by you," she admitted, raising her paintbrush towards the canvas.

Steven opened his mouth to ask which ones, but before he could say a word, the quiet was suddenly broken by a roar of rage. Peridot jumped in fright and fell off the ladder, leaving the Mona Lisa with a streak of paint down her face, and he just managed to catch her before she hit the ground. They turned towards the voice and saw a furious security guard charging towards them.

"Zut alors, bagette de fromage!" he bellowed, waving a baton threateningly.

"Ack! Run!" Steven half-dragged her down the long room before he came to his senses. "No guards! Room, no guards! Clod!"

Behind them came a faint _pop_ and when Steven dared to look back, the guard had gone.

"You said we wouldn't get into trouble here," Peridot complained, climbing back to her feet and brushing off her dress. "You _said._ "

"I did, sorry," Steven said ruefully. "I guess when I told the room to add a few people here to make it a bit more realistic, I should've specified no guards." He sighed and gave the wall closest to him a pat. "Can't really blame the room, I suppose. It _did_ give me what I asked for."

"Is it safe now?" Peridot asked, looking up and down the room.

"Should be." Steven held out a hand to her and they started walking back towards the painting. "I said 'no guards', not just that guard, so it should be OK now. But just to be on the safe side..." He paused, trying to think up the best wording, then said, "room, I don't want anybody trying to stop us from messing around with the art. Not the guards and not the tourists either. Clod."

"So... it's definitely safe now?" Peridot checked.

"Definitely safe now," Steven promised and smiled at her. "C'mon now, hurry up and put some eyebrows on Mona Lisa, I wanna stick googly eyes on Michelangelo's David when you're done."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Steven drew the paintbrush carefully across the canvas and then stepped backwards and eyed his handiwork critically. "OK, I think I'm about done here, what do you think?"

Peridot put her own paintbrush aside and came to stand next to him and narrowed her eyes. Then she smiled and nodded with satisfaction. "Much better," she said, her voice filled with approval. "She looks a lot warmer now."

"She does," Steven agreed, looking up at the painting of Truth Coming Out Of Her Well, now wearing a comfortable sweater and pants and holding a flashlight. "Although now I think about it, I think she was supposed to represent 'the naked truth' or something."

"Well now she can represent the naked truth with pants on," Peridot said firmly. "A well is far too damp and cold for her to be running around naked."

"Yeah, I guess so," he conceded. He gave the painting one last look and then glanced further along the room where yet more pictures hung and hoped Peridot wasn't planning to alter all of them. Then he immediately felt mean for thinking that. If Peridot decided she wanted to spend the evening vandalizing every single work of art in the Louvre, then he would happily assist her, and if that was all they did, then that was fine- "Ah, Peri, that doesn't really work properly in here," he said, suddenly spotting the cell phone in her hand.

"Huh?" she jumped slightly and looked at him with wide, startled eyes.

"The camera app, it doesn't work in here. Or rather, it works too well. It only shows what's real," he clarified. "I tried to use it to take a selfie with my mom once and there was nothing there."

Peridot still looked confused, then her eyes widened. "Oh! So _that's_ why you pointed it at me that time!"

"Ah, yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry."

She laughed and put the phone away again. "It's fine. I wasn't actually trying to use the camera anyway, although it would've been nice to keep a record of our modifications. No, I was just looking at the time." A light blush appeared on her cheeks and she turned her attention back to Truth. "We've been in here for almost two hours, perhaps you'd like to rest for a while?"

"Rest?" he said blankly.

"I seem to recall that humans tire quickly," she said, still not meeting his eyes. "I know you're only half human, but still, you've only just been released from hospital, so if you'd like to stop walking around this place and take a break for a while, I wouldn't be opposed."

"Oh! Right!" Suddenly he understood. "Well, um, there's a hotel right next door," he said, gesturing down the hallway with his paintbrush and accidentally spattering the walls with Cadmium Red. "Oops. Or we could see if any of the rooms in this place are furnished. I mean, the French royal family _did_ live here once."

"They did?" Peridot's eyes gleamed with interest. The little information she knew about royalty reminded her of the Diamonds and the thought of being able to enter their private lodgings gave her the same thrill of rebellion she'd had several years earlier on the Moonbase.

"Ah, yeah, well... that was before they were imprisoned and executed in the revolution," Steven admitted.

"Oh." Peridot wrinkled her nose. "Perhaps not."

"Perhaps not," Steven agreed. "Hotel next door then?"

Peridot nodded and dropped her art supplies on a nearby marble bench. "A much better suggestion. Lead the way!"

Steven grinned and tossed his own paintbrush next to hers before taking her hand. "Right this way."

He led her out of the room, around a corner and though a door and despite the fact that the layout of the building should have made it physically impossible, they were back outside in the courtyard, in front of the pyramid, which glowed in the light of the setting sun even though it was the middle of the night in France. And sure enough, right next to the museum was a quaint little little hotel. The couple exchanged quick, almost guilty glances, and then hurried up the steps and into the lobby where they were met by a smiling receptionist.

" _Bonjour, monsieur et mademoiselle,_ " she greeted, and then, having exhausted Steven's very limited French vocabulary, she switched to heavily accented English. "Can I 'elp you with anytheenk?"

"Uh, we'd like a room please?" he asked hesitantly.

"Of course," she said cheerfully, and without asking any further questions, she handed him an old-fashioned brass key. "Room one-oh-four, it is up ze stairs and along ze correedor."

"Uh, thanks," Steven mumbled.

"Yes, thank you," Peridot squeaked. She cleared her throat and smiled nervously. "Thank you," she said again, more clearly.

"You are most welcome." She shot them a charming smile and dipped her head. "I hope you weell have a most pleazant stay."

"So do I," Peridot muttered as they walked away, and broke out into almost hysterical giggles.

"Shh," Steven scolded, but as he caught her eye, he couldn't help giggling as well, and they were still laughing when they arrived at their room. But as soon as they stepped over the threshold, they fell silent. "So, um... do you like it?" Steven asked hopefully.

Peridot turned in a slow circle, taking in the gold patterned walls, the dark wood furnishing, the deep red bedding that matched the curtains flanking the open French doors that lead to a pretty stone balcony, the faint violin music coming from somewhere outside, the breathtaking view of the sunset over the River Seine and the Eiffel Tower... "It's perfect," she breathed.

"Oh good." He sagged with relief. "I've never been to France so I wasn't really quite sure what to do with it, so I Googled some pictures and took a little inspiration from Amelie-"

"I love it," Peridot said happily and draped her arms around his neck. "And I love you." She leaned up and pressed her lips against his, and as he eagerly responded, all her nervous apprehension faded away, leaving only desire.

Completely absorbed in each other, they stumbled across the room and fell onto the bed, kicking off their shoes and picking up at once where they'd been interrupted the night before. The straps of Peridot's dress fell down, and so as soon as Steven's lips left hers, he started kissing her neck and shoulders instead, and she retaliated by twisting her head slightly so she could kiss the faint stubble on his chin while her hands pulled at the buttons on his shirt until she was able to push the fabric aside and run her hands over his chest.

She felt his hands drift up her thighs, pushing up the bottom of her dress, but his body was pinning her down, so she suddenly shifted and rolled them both over, then sat up on his lap and reached down to pull the dress over her head. To her surprise, he grabbed her wrists and stopped her. "W-wait," he panted.

"What?" she asked in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He leaned up and gave her another quick kiss. "I just... I think I should stop now." He blushed and grinned guiltily. "Before we get totally carried away."

"Ughhh." She groaned and flopped back onto the bed next to him. "What if I _want_ you to get carried away?"

"I want that too," he said quietly. "Which is why I can't."

Peridot stared at him for a moment and then her expression softened. "Of course, I understand."

"You don't have to-"

"I want to." She smiled hopefully at him. "But first... will you kiss me one more time?"

"I'd love to." And he kissed her with an intensity that left her breathless.

She sank back among the pillows, her heart pounding and body throbbing, and closed her eyes briefly as she tried to think. Dress on or dress off? Usually she wouldn't bother, but today her intention wasn't to simply get herself off as quickly and quietly as possible-

"So, um, you've done this before?"

His voice cut through her thoughts and she opened her eyes to see him curled up at the end of the bed, watching her. "Not with an audience, no," she said wryly, and observed with amusement as a dark pink blush stained his cheeks. "But yes. Before the gems found out about us and we had those 'dream dates', I would wake up and- and want you." She felt her own cheeks heating up and ducked her head self-consciously.

"Why don't you tell me about it?" he asked softly, shifting into a slightly more comfortable position.

"Nngh..." She squirmed slightly, but obediently closed her eyes and cast her mind back a few weeks. "On one such occasion, we were visiting an asteroid. You'd made it so that my body didn't adjust to the low gravity, and we danced under the starlight. We started making out. But then..." Her brow furrowed. "It all fell apart, and I woke up alone in my room." She sighed. "I wanted you with me so badly, I almost went to find you, but then I heard footsteps in the house. I knew it couldn't really be you, but then I thought... what if it was?"

"What if it was?" he whispered, unconsciously moving a little closer to her.

Her eyes remained closed and the blush on her cheeks darkened. "I... I imagined you came to my room. You locked the door behind you and just looked at me, and- and then you crossed over to my hammock, swept me into your arms and kissed me again. Then you carried me over to the sofa, pinned me down and kissed me some more." One of her hands crept up her torso and gently cupped a breast as she pictured Steven's hands doing the same. "You- you took off my pajama top-"

Here she paused briefly, opened her eyes to look at him, and then took a deep breath and pulled her dress up and over her head before tossing it towards him. He had just enough time to notice that she wasn't wearing a bra before it hit him in the face, and by the time he'd struggled free, her eyes were closed again.

"-And then you began kissing down my neck," she breathed. "Until you reached my breasts."

"Wh-" Steven gulped and tried again. "What did I do next?"

"Mmm..." She cupped her breast again and brushed a thumb over the nipple. "You started sucking on my nipple... and pinched the other one. Not so much that it hurt," she quickly added. "Well... not much. Only a little."

"Uh-huh," Steven said absently, more preoccupied by the rise and fall of her chest than anything else. Her small, dark green nipples were stiffening under her touch as she mimicked the movements of the fantasy-Steven in her head. "Did you like it?"

"Oh _yes,_ " she breathed, and then fell silent for several seconds. "You- ah, you didn't stop there, of course."

"I didn't?" He leaned forward, eagerly waiting for her to continue and almost reached out a hand to touch her before he caught himself.

"You... mmm... you moved lower, kissing a line down my belly until you reached my shorts," she murmured, tracing the path across her skin with her fingertips. "And then you slowly pulled them down... and kissed my thighs..." She hesitated for a moment, skimming her fingers along the waistband of her panties and starting to blush again. "And... and then you kissed me through my panties- what was that?"

Steven looked down at the torn dress he'd been unconsciously twisting in his hands and cringed. _Oops._ "Nothing!" he quickly lied, licking his hand and pressing it against the ripped seam. To his relief, the damage was instantly repaired. "I just... moved. Cramp. Got my foot caught in the sheet. So, what did I do next?" he asked, wanting to get her back on the subject.

"Next?" Peridot huffed. "You moved back up and started sucking on my other nipple. I had to _beg_ you to go back down again!"

"Sorry," he said, biting back the urge to laugh at the cute pout on her face. "I guess I did in the end though?"

"Eventually," she murmured, splaying a hand across the front of her panties, and then fell silent again. "Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, you moved back down, and- and this time, you..." Her hand drifted between her legs and her fingers curled, brushing the gusset of her panties. "You pulled down my panties... and kissed my pussy."

Steven opened his mouth to say something, but somewhere between his brain and his mouth, his voice went missing. It had gotten distracted and taken a wrong turning when she'd moved her hands to the waistband of her panties and revealed a small damp patch where her fingers had been pressing. Any urge to laugh was completely forgotten as she raised her hips and slipped out of her panties, kicking them aside, out of the way. Her hand immediately returned to cup her pussy, pressing gently against the dark green folds hidden away there.

"You- ahh, you licked me," she groaned, running her fingers along her pussy lips, and Steven suddenly found himself irrationally jealous of this fantasy version of himself. _He_ wanted to be the one giving her such pleasure, sitting here watching was _agony,_ and not just because his pants had gotten far too tight for comfort. "Ahh-and you fingered me," she continued, completely oblivious to his growing discomfort. "L-like this..."

He shuffled around again, trying to find a more comfortable position without disturbing her, but he needn't have worried; she was now fully invested in her fantasy and had no intention of stopping, not even if he picked up her dress again and ripped it in half. She'd now given up describing everything to him, mostly because she'd lost the ability to form coherent sentences, and while he watched her roll her clit with her thumb and plunge her fingers into herself, he was struck by how little noise she was making. But of course, he reflected, she'd been doing this in her room in the house, with someone possibly on the other side of the door.

Hoping it was him.

He groaned and pressed his palm against his aching erection, which to be honest, really didn't help much at all. "Oh Peri... you look so beautiful right now," he said hoarsely.

At the sound of his voice, her hips jerked upwards and her legs stiffened. She gripped the bedspread with her free hand, her mouth dropped open and little gasping noises escaped. For several seconds, her entire body twitched, and then all at once, she slumped bonelessly back onto the bed, panting for breath. And then, finally, she opened her eyes again and peeped over at him. "Ah... and then, um, you kissed me and left the room," she finished, almost shyly.

"Well." He laughed a little self-consciously. "I don't think I'll be going anywhere just yet."

"Huh?" She stared at him for a moment, then her gaze dropped to the rather impressive tent in his shorts. "Oh!"

"It's OK!" he said quickly, drawing his knees up slightly. "It'll go away soon." _I hope,_ he mentally added, because he certainly couldn't leave the room in this state, not with Amethyst and Pearl outside.

"Well..." Peridot sat up and reached for her discarded panties. "Why don't you just deal with it here now?"

Steven hesitated. He knew he should really say no, they hadn't discussed it before they came into the room, but it was very difficult to think clearly with his girlfriend sitting almost completely naked in front of him. He briefly closed his eyes, but his brain immediately hit action replay on her performance, which just made it worse. "I guess I could," he mumbled. "If you're OK with it."

Peridot grinned and crawled forward and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I am very OK with it," she assured him, sitting back down and tucking her legs demurely beneath her.

It was all the encouragement he needed. His hands flew to his zipper and he yanked his pants and briefs down to his knees, and took himself in hand. Peridot's eyes sparkled, and she leaned closer to try and get a better look at him. It was almost distracting, but at the same time, her obvious desire for him just made him even more turned on, and it wasn't long before he reached his own climax. Then he was immediately embarrassed by how quickly he'd come. "Eugh," he mumbled, looking around for something to clean up with so he wouldn't have to look her in the eye, and spotted a pile of towels on one of the chairs. The room really had provided for all eventualities. "Um, could you...?"

"Oh, of course." She jumped to her feet, still only clad in panties, and passed him a towel before returning to the bed again. He glanced over at her, and blushed and looked away, concentrating on cleaning himself up, and Peridot furrowed her brow in concern. "Steven? Is something wrong?"

"Huh?" He looked up at her again and smiled sheepishly. "No, I just..." He shook his head with a small laugh. "I usually last longer than that, honest!"

"So?" she asked blankly.

"So..." He finished tidying himself up and lay down next to her. "I guess I don't, y'know, wanna disappoint you."

She smiled fondly and snuggled up to him. "You could never disappoint me," she assured him confidently, tracing little circles on his chest with her fingertips.

"Hmm." He mulled over that for a moment and then sighed and hugged her closer. "Well. I'll do better next time, in any case."

"Next time..." Peridot repeated. "Do you have any suggestions for that?"

Steven opened his mouth to say 'everything you just described' and then stopped himself. "We should talk about it back home," he said instead.

She tilted her head up to look at him. "You still don't trust your room?"

"Not entirely," he admitted. "Not yet."

"That's a pity," she murmured, glancing around the hotel room again. "It's a truly remarkable room, I've never seen anything like it."

"No?" He looked at her in surprise. "Not even on Homeworld?"

"Well, I suppose the technology probably exists somewhere on Homeworld," she said slowly. "But it would belong to the Diamonds and I can't imagine them allowing it to fall into the hands of lower-class gems."

"Bit mean of them," Steven commented, and then smiled wryly. Of course the Diamonds weren't going to let other gems have rooms that could give them anything they wanted!

"I imagine it would have a rather significant impact upon efficiency," Peridot said, obviously thinking along the same lines. "Nobody would ever want to leave!"

"Mmm." He could feel himself growing drowsy and shook himself awake. He _definitely_ didn't trust the room enough to fall asleep in it. "But we probably should." He stretched, sat up, and handed her her dress. "Come on. Let's go and see how Amethyst and Pearl's card game's going."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Steven had fallen asleep to the pleasant mental image of his girlfriend reaching orgasm, had another weird dream in which he was Pink Diamond throwing a tantrum, and woken up with a sensible idea that was completely unrelated to either of those things. There didn't seem to be anyone else around the house, but when he came out of the bathroom, Peridot was rummaging through the fridge.

"Ah, Steven!" she exclaimed, emerging with a carton of eggs. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"You're gonna cook?" he asked, intrigued. Then he narrowed his eyes. "... _Can_ you cook?"

"I helped prepare that meal for your uncle, didn't I?" she pointed out. " _And_ I've watched every episode of Hell's Kitchen and The British Baking Show," she finished smugly.

Somehow he suspected that might not be as helpful as she anticipated unless she was planning to serve him Beef Wellington and a dozen millie-feuille, but he tried to think of something she could feasibly make. "Umm... how about pancakes?" he finally suggested.

"Pancakes it is," she declared, and turned back to the fridge to get the milk.

To his relief, Steven noted that the correct ingredients seemed to be making their way into the mixing bowl, and the batter didn't look anything out of the ordinary, and he quietly decided that even if the pancakes came out of the frying pan undercooked or burned, he'd eat them. After all, he'd put worse things in his mouth. Amethyst's mayonnaise donuts, for example- "Y'know, I just realized, we never got to eat those donuts Pearl made for us," he suddenly said. "I wonder what happened to them?"

"Don't worry, they didn't go to waste."

They turned in unison to see Amethyst approaching. She stopped beside Peridot and peered hopefully into her mixing bowl. "Oooh, making pancakes?"

"They're for Steven," Peridot said sternly, angling her body slightly to shield the bowl in case Amethyst tried to snatch it out of her hands and drink the raw batter.

"Ahh, bless," Amethyst said, pinching her cheek. "You'll make someone a lovely little wifey one day." She grinned. "Maybe even Steven, if he's lucky."

"Shut up," Peridot grumbled, although she couldn't completely hide the smile on her face.

"So," Amethyst began, poking her finger into the batter and licking it before Peridot could stop her. "Mmm. Very nice. You joining us in the Kindergarten today, Steve-o?"

"Well, I _was_ planning on going to the battlefield again today to practice moving bubbles," he said. "But then I realized I don't know for sure where I'm going to send the Cluster, we never got a chance to properly talk about it."

"Oh, that's right!" Amethyst snapped her fingers. "You were in your weird corruption-coma."

"Steven suggested Mask Island," Peridot piped up as she began pouring batter into the frying pan, a spatula clenched firmly in her hands in case Amethyst came back for more.

"Yeah. We thought maybe one of the Kindergartens at first, but there's always a chance someone might find it and pop the bubble. Even with Peridot's security drones, it's a risk. Sorry, sweetie," he added apologetically.

"No, you're right," Peridot admitted. "The drones are adequate for protecting the drill, but the bubbled Cluster is far more fragile. A single hit from a ranged weapon would be enough to unleash it."

"Yeah, it'd be just our luck if some doofus with a rifle shot it for fun and got themselves crushed to death," Amethyst agreed.

"But Mask Island is, obviously, an island," Steven continued. "So it's a lot harder to get to, even for us. And I'm sure the Watermelon Stevens would protect it."

Amethyst nodded slowly. "I guess that sounds reasonable. Want me to get Pearl and Garnet and tell 'em?"

"No need." The temple door split open and Garnet and Pearl stepped into the house. "Mask Island sounds like an ideal location for the Cluster," Garnet said as she crossed the room to join them.

"Yes, it's an excellent idea, Steven," Pearl agreed, peering over Peridot's shoulder to examine the pancakes. "Turn the heat down a little, you don't want to overcook them."

"OK, Mask Island it is," Steven said. "In that case then, I was thinking I should go to Mask Island today and talk to the Watermelon Stevens about it."

"If they're anything like Rose's plants, they should just obey you," Pearl said, still peering over Peridot's shoulder, oblivious to the smaller gem's irritation.

"I'd still like to talk to them first," Steven said firmly. "I need to warn them anyway, I don't want any of them popping the bubble either."

"How're you gonna talk to them? Are you gonna possess one again?" Amethyst asked.

Steven shuddered. "Ick. No. I was just gonna take Lion."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Pearl asked a little doubtfully. "Lion can be a little unreliable. What if you get stranded there again?"

"Well, I like to think that if that happened, you guys would notice my absence a little quicker this time," he said pointedly.

" _I'd_ notice," Peridot said smugly, and handed him a plate of pancakes. They were slightly overdone, but otherwise perfect, and Steven gave her a thumbs up.

Amethyst rolled her eyes and opened her mouth but before she could say something crude, Garnet quickly butted in. "Why don't you take the gem sloop instead?"

"Mmph-" Steven swallowed and tried again. "I don't know the way."

"Oooh, I do!" Amethyst waved enthusiastically. "I'll come with you! I'm not really much help with the drill anyway. Sardonyx can take over the heavy lifting for a day, right?"

"Sure," Garnet said, ignoring Pearl as she gasped and knocked over Peridot's mixing bowl. "Sounds like a plan-"

"Wait," Peridot suddenly cut in. "If it's this much trouble to access the island, what are we going to do if there's an emergency and we need to get there in a hurry?"

A silence fell over the group as they all considered this. "Could we replace the warp pad?" Steven said slowly.

"With what?" Amethyst asked.

Pearl looked at the wall, in the direction of the temple statue's arms. "There's the one on the statue's hand... it would make doing the laundry a little inconvenient though."

"Ah!" Garnet snapped her fingers together. "We can take the one from the barn! After all, the barn's not there any more and your uncle sold the land."

"All right!" Amethyst jumped to her feet and ran over to the warp pad. "Come on, last one there's a burnt pancake!"

"Actually, is it all right if you guys handle that?" Steven glanced quickly over at his girlfriend, who was now cleaning the mess she'd made in the kitchen. "Peridot and I wanna go for a walk. Plus I haven't actually finished my breakfast- hey!"

Amethyst grinned and smacked her lips. "Breakfast's finished!" she yelled, and ran back to the warp pad, vanishing just as the spatula flew through the air where she'd been standing and bounced off of the wall.

"Oh dear," Pearl sighed. "We'd better join her before she starts terrorizing the building crew." And in a flash of light, she and Garnet vanished as well.

"Bother Amethyst." Steven looked glumly down at his empty plate. "I was enjoying that."

"And I can't even cook you any more because Pearl spilled the rest of the batter." Peridot stomped across the room to retrieve the spatula and threw it into the sink so hard it bounced straight back out again. She growled and snatched it up again.

"Whoa, hey, it's OK." He stood up and embraced her from behind until he felt some of the tension leave her body. "At least I got to eat most of it. And they were very yummy, thank you."

"Really?" She twisted around to look up at him. "You're not just saying that?"

"Cross my heart," he promised.

She narrowed her eyes. "You don't think they were overdone?"

"Well... a little," he admitted. "But I wouldn't have noticed if Pearl hadn't said anything, honest. Here, let me give you a hand and then we'll go," he said hastily, and grabbed a cloth and began wiping down the counter. The work went faster with two pairs of hands, and a few moments later, those hands were clasped together as the couple stepped onto the beach.

"So..." Steven gave her a sidelong look. "You OK?"

"...Yeah." Peridot sighed and curled her toes into the sand. "I'll make you more pancakes tomorrow. Better ones. One's that aren't overcooked!" she vowed, already getting fired up at the thought. "And I will bring home one of the security drones from the Kindergarten today and program it to guard the kitchen area!"

Steven laughed. "That won't be necessary- well, I guess maybe it might be, but I don't think it would help all that much. Amethyst would just take it as a challenge. I'll talk to her and tell her to leave my breakfast alone next time."

"Mmm," Peridot said vaguely. Personally she thought they'd have more success if they just threw a donut out of the window to distract the other gem, but she couldn't be bothered arguing about it. If Amethyst tried to steal Steven's breakfast again tomorrow, she'd just use her metal powers to poof her with the kitchen knives and maybe that would get the message across. "So," she said, changing the subject. "I assume the purpose of this walk is to discuss our plans for the room again?"

He laughed sheepishly. "Am I that obvious?"

She laughed as well and leaned her head on his arm. "No, not really. I was just hoping."

"Well... yeah, you're right," he admitted. "I just wanted to check you were OK with, y'know..." He blushed. "Yesterday."

Immediately, a blissful smile appeared on Peridot's face. "I enjoyed every minute of it," she said dreamily.

"Yeah? Even at the end when I..." His blush deepened. "Y'know." _If you couldn't bring yourself to say it, you probably weren't ready to do it,_ a little voice in his head reminded him. He politely told it to fuck off and leave him alone.

Peridot's smile morphed into an impish smirk. "You mean when you masturbated in front of me? That was my favorite bit."

"Really?" he said skeptically.

"Really," she assured him. "I enjoyed watching you. Which was _your_ favorite bit?" she countered, seeing that he still didn't look convinced.

"Well... watching _you."_ He laughed and shook his head. "OK, I see your point. I guess I was just a little worried because we didn't talk about it outside first. I mean, I told the room it wasn't to force you to do anything you didn't want to, not under any circumstances whatsoever, but still... I just needed to know for sure, I suppose."

"Steven." She stopped and stood in front of him, tilting her head up to look into his eyes. "I can assure you, I didn't do anything I didn't want to, and I'm genuinely looking forward to spending more time in the room with you. But only if _you_ want to as well."

"I want to," he said at once. "Definitely."

"Good." She grinned and leaned up on tiptoe to give him a quick kiss. "I'm glad we cleared that up. So... what do you want to do next time we're in there?"

This time he didn't hesitate. "Everything you described me doing to you."

Her grin widened. "I'd like that too."

"I just hope I can live up to imaginary Steven," he joked.

She laughed loudly and gave him another kiss. "You'll be _infinitely_ better than him," she promised. "But what about you? I want to do something for _you_. Is there anything you'd particularly like?"

"Um, I hadn't really thought about it," he lied. He cleared his throat a little self-consciously and tried to clear his mind as well. Any passing telepath would've been scandalized by his thoughts right then, so it really was a good thing he was the only person he knew with psychic powers. "Uh... blowjob?" he suggested lamely.

"Hmm." She pretended to consider it. "I can do that. I think. I mean, I've never done that, but how hard can it be- don't laugh!" she scolded as he did exactly that. "I didn't mean to say it like that!"

"Sorry." They started walking across the sand again. "Soooo... when? Later today? When we're done with stuff?" he asked hopefully.

"Later today sounds good to me," she agreed.

"We should probably spend a little time with the gems first," he mused aloud, remembering the brief look of disappointment on Pearl's face the day before. "Like watch a movie or something, just to keep them sweet. Then we can sneak off together."

Peridot wrinkled up her nose; she wouldn't get to see Steven for hours once they started work and she didn't particularly relish the idea of sharing him once they reunited. Still, she could see the wisdom in his suggestion. "I suppose so, if we must," she said with a heavy sigh. Then a thought occurred to her. "You aren't intending to style the room to look like mine, are you?" she asked suspiciously. "Much as I like my room, it seems a little redundant to have _two_ of them."

"I'm sure we can come up with something a little different. After all, the room _can_ make anything," he bragged.

"Like... Camp Pining Hearts?" Peridot suggested hopefully.

"After all, the room can make _almost_ anything," Steven said at once. "No, I'm kidding. Well, sort of. I mean, yes, could make Camp Pining Hearts, but there are limitations."

"What sort of limitations?" Peridot asked, immediately distracted by the opportunity to know more about the room.

"It can't make anything I don't actually _know_ ," he began. "Remember I told you about when I tried to get the room to make you so I could ask you what you were worried about? And it just froze mid-sentence because I had no clue what was bothering you. Oh, and when I asked it to make my Mom? I realized afterwards that pretty much everything she'd been saying was ripped from the videotape she left me, because that was all I'd ever heard her say."

"I see." Peridot nodded her head. "So that's why there were artworks in the Louvre that shouldn't have been there?"

"There were?" he said blankly.

"Yes, Truth and David... never mind, it's not important." She waved a hand dismissively. "What's important is that you know what Camp Pining Hearts looks like, so the room can make it."

"I'm not asking the room to make Camp Pining Hearts," Steven said firmly. "Not for this, anyway."

Peridot pouted, but graciously let the matter drop. "What about Hogwarts? Could it make Hogwarts? And Hogsmeade? Ooh, and could it make Diagon Alley as well? And Gringotts?" she asked with growing enthusiasm, already picturing them withdrawing bags of gold and exploring all the shops.

"Whoa, slow down!" Steven held up his hands and laughed. "That might be a bit much for the room! It had enough trouble just making Beach City!"

"But..." Peridot frowned. "It made Paris?"

"It made a couple of hallways in the Louvre and a hotel room," Steven corrected.

"Oh, I see!" Comprehension dawned upon her. "So it's like one of those computer game simulations where things pictured aren't always necessarily functional?"

"Yes! Why didn't I think of that!?" Steven exclaimed. "That's perfect! Like, Paris was just a background and there were a couple of NPCs, and Beach City was an open world and too many character files!"

"So all of Hogwarts would be too much for it to render," Peridot finished.

"Also they have shared dormitories and I don't really want Nearly-Headless Nick popping up to critique my technique," Steven pointed out.

"Eugh." Peridot shuddered. "Very well, not Hogwarts. What do you suggest then?"

"Um..." Steven tried to think, but before he could come up with something, there was a shout from the direction of the temple, and they turned to see Garnet and Amethyst stood on the deck, holding a warp pad between them.

"Hey, come on, you two!" Amethyst's voice floated down to them. "Enough with the romantic beach walk, we've got work to do!"

"Guess that's our cue." Steven pulled a face, making his girlfriend giggle. "I'll try and think of something during the trip, OK?"

"OK." Peridot leaned and kissed him, ignoring the catcalls from behind them. "I'll attempt to come up with something as well, but I think this is more your area of expertise," she admitted, and then turned and jogged back across the sand. Steven followed at a slightly slower pace and arrived at the bottom of the steps just as Pearl stepped out of the house as well.

"Ah, hello Steven," she greeted warmly. "I'm just about to fetch the sloop, why don't you go and get ready?"

"Oooh, pack a power bank," Amethyst advised at once. "It'd be nice to listen to some music on the way."

"Got it," he nodded.

"Oh, and snacks," she added as he passed. "There's another bag of Chaaps at the back of the cupboard. And drinks! It's gonna be a couple of hours and salt water's gross-"

"Amethyst!" The warp pad slipped out of her hands and Garnet only just managed to catch it before it rolled down the stairs. "Pay attention!"

"Me?" Amethyst looked wounded. "You have future vision, how did you _not_ see that coming?"

"Power bank, snacks and drinks," Steven said quickly, holding his backpack aloft. " _And_ I packed magazines and my GameDude in case we get bored."

"Ayyy!" She moved to punch his arm, but this time he saw it coming and took a hasty step backwards. "All right, let's get this show on the road! Ocean! Whatever!"

And ten minutes later, they were sailing across the water, Beach City fading in the distance behind them. Steven opened up the music app on his phone and then put it in a safe place while he handled the sails. Amethyst sat at the tiller, uncharacteristically serious for a change, making small adjustments to their course to compensate for the drag caused by the heavy warp pad.

"Good weather," Steven commented, looking up at the fluffy cloud-filled sky. "How long do you think it'll take us to get there?"

"Hmm..." Amethyst glanced up at the sun. "About... six hours? Give or take an hour."

"That long?" he said in surprise. "It didn't take that long for you guys to get back last time, did it?"

"Nah, that was only what, four hours?" She waved her hand at the warp pad. "But we weren't dragging a warp pad with us, were we?" She lapsed into silence for a moment. "Be nice to see the Watermelon Stevens again, I haven't seen them since we fought Malachite."

"Yeah." He glanced down at the rippling water and a thought occurred to him. "Oh, did I tell you I saw her yesterday? Lapis that is, not Malachite," he corrected when he spotted the startled look on Amethyst's face.

"Glad you cleared that up," she said dryly. "A corrupted Malachite isn't something I really wanna think about. So how _is_ Lapis? Good? Waterboarded anyone else on her journey of butts?"

"She's fine," Steven said, ignoring the latter part of her question. "Not very happy about us planning to cure Jasper-"

"Gee, I wonder why," Amethyst muttered under her breath.

"-But she's happy me and Peridot aren't corrupted any more."

"How magnanimous of her." Amethyst paused, recalling the conversation she'd had with Garnet a few weeks earlier. "But she's got a point, I guess. Cure or no cure, Jasper's not gonna be happy to see us again." She gave him a sidelong look. "She's not gonna be the only one either, y'know, her and Centi probably aren't the only Homeworld gems who got corrupted, and some of them are still gonna be on the other side."

"I know." He sighed and stared across the water. "But I just... I wanna give them a chance, y'know? I know some of them are always going to be loyal to Homeworld, no matter what, but maybe some of them will be more like Centi and realize the Diamonds were the ones responsible for what happened to them. Maybe we could even show them the Cluster. And then even if they don't join us, they might not be in such a hurry to fight us."

"Mmm." For a moment, Amethyst almost told him about the prisoners of war, the ones bubbled before the corruption wave who would have no idea about the Diamonds final weapon, but then she stopped herself. That was most definitely Garnet's job, not hers. "Eh, whatever. Come on, tighten that rope, your sail's sagging," she said, changing the subject. "Hey, last time we saw them, your melons made their own society with houses and religion and stuff, how far do you think they've come in the last four years?"

Steven shrugged. "No idea." He glanced down at his phone and grinned wryly. "Kinda hoping they've figured out electricity and cell towers though, the signal on that island is _terrible._ "

xxx

A/N: Happy Holidays! I will be taking a week off because family are visiting, so I will see you all in 2019!


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

Amethyst turned in a slow circle, examining the area carefully. The site was a fair distance from the settlement, on a cliff overlooking the fissure that split the island in two. "Hmm..." She scuffed the edge of the cliff with her foot and watched a few pieces of dirt break free and tumble into the water. "Hmm."

"Is that a good 'hmm' or a bad 'hmm'?" Steven carefully laid the warp pad down and took a moment to stretch his arms. "Ooh, or an indifferent 'hmm'?"

Amethyst ignored him and turned to the Watermelon Steven beside him. "What's the rate of erosion like up here?" she asked in businesslike tone. "It's no good setting the warp pad here if the whole cliff falls down in the next storm."

"Mamamama mamam mamama," the melon said solemnly and waved at the cliff.

"Hmm." Amethyst nodded thoughtfully and then looked at Steven. "Nope, not a clue. What did he say?"

"He said the only thing that's ever caused any damage to the island is the earthquake that caused _that_ ," Steven translated, nodding at the cliff. "'Course, they have only been living here about five years though."

"Yeah, still, that's good enough for me." Amethyst grinned and skipped over to the warp pad. "This island's a gem structure, after all, it'd take something pretty epic to put a dent in it. Come on, give me a hand with this thing. There's a nice, flat spot just over here."

Steven obediently came to her assistance and they placed the warp pad on the spot Amethyst had chosen. She walked around it a few times, gave it a kick, then stood on top of it and jumped up and down. "Feels good," she decided.

"Want me to try it out?" Steven offered. "I could pop home and grab us a couple of ice cream sandwiches out of the freezer."

"Nah, I'll go," Amethyst said decisively. "If you get shredded down to atoms, Pearl and Peridot will kill me, so I might as well be the one to risk it anyway."

"Shredded- what? Wait!" he cried out in alarm, but Amethyst has already vanished. His first instinct was to jump on the warp pad at once and follow her, but the word _shredded_ echoed ominously in his mind and instead, he found himself dithering helplessly at the edge. After all, if something had gone wrong and she _had_ been shredded, what good would it do if he followed her? But then, how long was he supposed to wait here? The Watermelon Stevens had not, in fact, figured out electricity and built a cell tower, so he couldn't call her, and the only other way off the island was the boat-

His gaze fell upon the Watermelon Steven standing patiently beside him and he paused. Could he perhaps bubble them and send them over to the house to check on Amethyst? Although... there was, again, no way for the melon to contact him, so he'd have to use his powers to possess it and have a look around himself. But what if she'd gone somewhere else? He was pretty sure the melons couldn't use the warp pads, so he'd have to come back and send out more until he found her-

Thankfully, before he was forced to start sending melons across the globe, the warp pad suddenly lit up and Amethyst reappeared. "Celebratory ice cream sandwiches!" she cheered, and tossed him a package which bounced off his chest and fell to the floor before he could move. "It's all good!"

"Yeah?" he asked cautiously, bending down to pick up his ice cream. "No risk of any shredding?"

"What? Nah, I was joking." She tossed the entire ice cream into her mouth and swallowed. "Warp pads either work or don't work. And this one works." She screwed up the wrapper and then ate that as well. "So we're good to go."

"Wha- seriously!?" he complained and gestured at the Watermelon Steven stood next to him. "I was about to send these guys out looking for you!"

The melon blinked and recoiled slightly. "Mahamahmah mah mah!?"

"Hah! I don't need you to translate _that_!" Amethyst laughed. "Come on, let's head over to the Kindergarten and see how they're all getting on without us."

"What about the boat?" he reminded her.

"Oh yeah." She glanced at the warp pad, but then a better idea struck. "Oooh! Bubble it and send it home. You were wanting to practice that anyway, right? And I'll warp back and check and see if it arrives and meet you back- what's wrong?" she asked in surprise and he smacked a hand across his face.

"I just thought," he groaned. "I could've just _bubbled_ you and the warp pad and sent you both here hours ago."

"Oh yeeeaaaaaah." She cast a doleful look towards the warp pad and sighed. "Welp, too late now. Unless you've got another time travel hourglass stashed somewhere."

Of course, he didn't have another time-travel hourglass, so they parted ways and he headed back to the shore and bubbled the boat. Picturing the sandy shore outside the house, he tapped the glossy pink bubble and watched it disappear, then, feeling reasonably confident that it had reached the correct destination, he turned around and walked back to the warp pad where Amethyst was waiting.

"It worked!" she shouted as soon as he came into view. "I put it under the house for Pearl to put away when she gets home. Now bubble me," she demanded. "And send me to the Kindergarten!"

Steven raised his hands and then paused as her words registered in his brain. "Send- what?"

"Me!" She bounced up and down enthusiastically. "Everything you've been bubbling so far has been like strawberries and rocks and junk, right? So it's time to up the stakes, send a live gem. 'Cause if you don't feel like you can send little ol' me, maybe we ought to hold off on you sending the Cluster anywhere."

Steven pursed his lips, but she had a point, so he shrugged, stepped forward and bubbled her. "I'll meet you there," he said, and tapped the top and watched her disappear. Then he said a quick farewell to the watermelon before stepping onto the warp pad to follow her. Moments later, the glow of the warp faded and the barren walls of the Kindergarten loomed up around him, the ominous atmosphere ever-so-slightly spoiled by the sight of Amethyst floating a few short meters away, waving merrily. "That was _awesome!_ " she cheered. "Do it again!"

"We're supposed to be meeting the others," Steven reminded her.

"So send me there then, duh."

"I'm beginning to think you're doing this just to avoid having to walk anywhere," he scolded, but once again, he obligingly tapped the top of the bubble before making his own way towards the drill site. This time there was no sign of the drone, but when he approached, he could hear raised voices and when he turned the corner, Amethyst was sat on the ground, complaining loudly and looking rather disheveled. "What happened?" he asked in alarm. "Did something go wrong with the bubble?"

"No, you did fine," Amethyst waved away his concerns at once. "Everything was fine until your jerk girlfriend sicced her stupid drones on me!"

"You appeared in the middle of our building site with no warning," Peridot said dismissively. "There was no time to stop and assess the situation."

"Yeah there was, you just chose not to." Amethyst climbed to her feet and furiously dusted herself off.

"It's automated!" Peridot threw up her hands in exasperation. "You were there when we set it up! You all assured me that humans don't have any sort of teleportation technology, so anything that could bypass our security and materialize here would have to be treated as a threat!"

"That's true," Pearl admitted. "We all assumed anything that could get here without being intercepted on the way must be a deliberate attack."

"Yeah- but she..." Amethyst waved her arms impotently in Peridot direction. "She- ARGH!"

"How did your mission go?" Garnet asked as Amethyst fell into a sulky silence. "Are the Watermelons well?"

"Yeah, they're good," he said, perking up. "They got rid of that weird sacrificial statue of me and replaced it with one of Alexandrite."

"Somehow that's not very comforting," Pearl murmured.

"-And they've agreed to keep the Cluster safe on the island and guard it," he finished.

"That's good to hear," Garnet said approvingly. "Especially as we have news of our own." She nodded over at Peridot, who grinned widely and bounced up and down in anticipation. "Why don't you tell him?"

"We've finished!" she blurted out at once.

"Seriously!?" A chill ran down his spine as he looked at the smiling faces in front of him. "I thought- you mean-" He gulped. "W-we could do this like, tomorrow?"

"There's no rush," Pearl quickly assured him.

"Yes, this isn't as time sensitive as the first run," Garnet added. "If you want to wait a day or two, that's perfectly fine."

"No, no, I'm fine," he said at once as the shock was replaced by a rush of adrenaline. "I just didn't expect it for another day at least, but I'm ready. Although..." He glanced over at Amethyst. "Do you guys mind if I do a little more bubble practice while you wrap things up here?"

"Go ahead," Garnet said. "Peridot wants to test the drill first anyway so we're gonna be here a while longer anyway."

"Why bother?" Amethyst asked dismissively. "It worked just fine the first time round."

"Two of the drill heads shattered," Peridot reminded her. "True, we won't be attempting to destroy the Cluster this time, but it won't do any harm to attempt a trial run."

"Well in that case..." Amethyst clapped her hands together. "Come on, Steven, do your thing. Send me..." She thought hard. "Send me to the Geode and I'll warp back to the house afterwards and let you know if it worked."

"OK, I'll see you there." He reached out and bubbled her yet again, and then turned to the other gems. "I'll see you guys there later too."

"Bye Steven," Garnet said impassively, and gave him a thumbs up.

"Good luck!" Pearl added brightly.

"We love you!" Peridot finished and smiled widely. "But I love you the most!"

Steven laughed and blew her a kiss before walking away, leaving the words "it's not a competition, Peridot!" in his wake.

When he arrived at the beach house, Amethyst was waiting impatiently for him. "Jeez, you took your time," she complained.

"Sorry. I haven't quite figured out how to bubble myself," he joked.

"Whatever." Amethyst quickly waved away his apology. "I was thinking next, you should send me to the Sea Shrine."

"The Sea Shrine?" He frowned. "But... it's underwater."

"I know!" She waved her arms wildly. "It'll be like a harder test of your bubble-sending skills!"

Steven shook his head. "No, I mean, I'm pretty sure I can send you there just fine, but how are you gonna get back? If you warp back from there, you're gonna bring half the ocean with you and flood the house."

"I could warp back to the Temple Statue hand," she suggested, then shook her head before he could reply. "Nah, you're right, that'd wreck the washer. Oh, I got it!" She snapped her fingers. "I'll warp to the Galaxy Warp. That's right in the ocean anyway, so all the water will fall back in again."

Steven couldn't think of any objections to that, so he sent her to the Sea Shrine and poured himself a glass of juice while he waited for her to return, which she did, three minutes later. "Here, I grabbed one of those janky hourglasses as proof," she said proudly, and tossed him a small hourglass, which he caught and immediately bubbled. "What did you do that for?"

"It could be dangerous," he said sternly.

"Well yeah, why d'ya think I grabbed it?"

"No time-travel," he said flatly, and sent it back to the Sea Shrine again. "Didn't you ever read Cursed Child?"

"Happily, no." She sighed and shook her head. "Fine. All right. The point is, it worked, so let's do another one. Send me... ah!" Her eyes lit up. "Can you send me to the _moon_!?"

"Yes!" He moved forward, then the sensible side of his brain hit the alarm. "Wait, no! How would you even get back!?"

"Oh yeah." Her face fell. "I guess in that case, just send me to like, the battlefield or something."

So he sent her to the battlefield, and she returned four minutes later clutching a large, bejeweled battleaxe. Then he sent her to the Flower Meadow. Then the Sky Arena. Then he sent her to the Beta Kindergarten.

Fifteen minutes later, he warped into the Beta Kindergarten to look for her. "Amethyst?" he shouted. "Are you here?" He turned in a slow circle, looking around at the tall, sandstone cliffs. "Amethyst!"

"Oh, hey Steven!" Amethyst's face popped up from behind a nearby rock. "What are you doing here?"

"You didn't come back! I was beginning to think I'd actually sent you to the moon by mistake!"

"Oh, sorry." She laughed sheepishly. "I just... I went to have a look at Jasper's exit hole again. 'Cause we were talking about Malachite earlier, y'know? Guess I lost track of time."

"Oh." He bit his lip and tried to think of something helpful to say. "Um."

"Do you _really_ think we can get her on our side?" she asked quietly.

"Uh, I really don't know," he admitted. "But we'll have more of a shot changing her mind if we can cure her and actually communicate with her, right?"

"Yeah." Amethyst cast another thoughtful look around the kindergarten and then shook her head to clear it. "Right! Moving on. Wanna send me to the desert now?"

"Sure. Ah!" He clicked his fingers, inspired, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "We probably should've done this earlier, but take this, then if there's a problem or something, you can just call me and let me know."

"Gotcha." She took one last look around as he bubbled her and then vanished. Steven gazed at the spot she'd been for a few more seconds, and then walked back to the warp pad.

As soon as he warped back into the house, he heard the sound of the phone ringing and his stomach dropped. It seemed pretty unlikely to be a coincidence. Although, he told himself as he crossed the room, she could just be calling to check the phone worked. "Hello?" he answered, crossing his fingers. "Amethyst?"

"Dude, where am I!?" her voice crackled down the line.

"Um... the desert?" he said hopefully. "Earth, at least. I don't think my phone can get signal on the moon."

"Yeah, all right, you know what I mean," she huffed. "It's the desert all right, but I thought you'd send me to the warp pad and I can't see it anywhere. There's just a door in between these two-" She paused. "OK, maybe it's just me, but it looks like knees and a door-vagina and I'm seriously weirded out."

"Oh!" He started to laugh. "Amethyst, that's just Mom's secret pile of trash. It's where I found the Nora video, remember?"

"Oh yeah!" He could hear the smile in her voice now. "You mind if I take a look around?"

"Go for it, I don't mind. I don't remember if I bothered locking the door, but whatever building was there's all ruined, you can just walk right round into it."

"Cool," she said happily. "I mean, I still think it looks weird, but I'm a little less creeped out knowing it's Rose's and not Homeworld's- oh, I bet I know what it is, it's gotta be one of those handships, buried in the sand, right? With a couple of bent knuckles sticking out."

"Uh, yeah, I guess?" He shrugged. "I just thought it was pyramids."

"Heh. So anyway, why'd you send me here? Just zone out or something?"

"No, I mean, I don't think so..." He thought hard. "I guess there's not really any major landmarks out there and we didn't pick an exact location, so maybe I just subconsciously sent you there because it was, y'know, a proper place rather than just dumping you in miles of sand."

"Well you need to work on that before tom- ooh, sword! Ah, no, it's broken. What was I saying?"

"That I need to work on where I send things before tomorrow," Steven reminded her.

"Yeah. The watermelons won't be pleased if you park the Cluster on top of their nice, new shiny statue." She fell silent, and Steven was about to say goodbye and hang up when she spoke again. "So just how far away _is_ the warp pad? It's gotta be a way, I never saw this place before and I've been in the desert more than a few times."

"Yeah, it's a couple of hours," he said, remembering the long, boring, hot trek across the desert with Lion. There was a reason he'd never gone back again.

"Dammit. Why did Rose have to hide all her dumb secret hidey stashes so far away from everything?" Amethyst grumbled under her breath.

"Because that's how secret hidey stashes work?" Steven suggested with a grin.

"Shut up, smart-ass," she laughed. "I bet she hid this one to keep Pearl from nagging about the state of her room. That's why it's empty, all her trash is out here. Right!" she said with an air of finality. "So now what? Are you going to come and find me?"

"Er..."

"Or are you planning to just abandon me out here in the middle of nowhere?" she continued mercilessly. "With no idea of even which direction to go, all alone under the burning sun, just me and my lonely thoughts-"

"I'll go and find Lion."


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Lion wasn't in the most cooperative of moods, so as soon as Steven had retrieved Amethyst and got them both back home, they left him alone with a steak and a large box to amuse himself with, and warped over to the battlefield, where Steven spent the next hour returning to the basics by sending the floating islands to wherever Amethyst directed. It was definitely not as much fun as practicing with Peridot, but by the time Garnet called to let them know they were done with the drill, his confidence had returned in full and he had no doubt that the Cluster would go exactly where he wanted it to.

"Nice work, Steve-o," Amethyst said, clapping him on the back as he returned one of the islands back to its original position. "Looks like the desert was just a blip after all. But," she added hopefully, "just to be sure, why don't you see if you can send me to my room?"

"Ha, I _knew_ you were gonna use this as a way to avoid walking!" he laughed. A thought popped into his head, but before he could examine it, she replied and distracted him.

"Guilty," she admitted. "But hey, it works, so why not?"

"Because I want the pleasure of your company?" he suggested. She raised an eyebrow and he grinned. "OK, I just don't wanna walk back to the warp pad by myself again."

"All right, fiiiiine. Oh, you can have your phone back, by the way," she added, falling into step beside him. "Did you know you have twenty-seven pictures of Peridot with a flower in her hair that are all basically the same except taken from different angles?"

"And she looks adorable in every single one of them," he said happily.

"You also have more than a hundred pictures of Lion trying to sit in boxes," she continued.

"Also adorable."

"Fifty-three pictures of variously decorated donuts, thirty-two pictures of weird, fancy coffee drinks-"

"That's mostly hot chocolate," he corrected.

"-And two hundred and eighteen screenshots of your avatar catching fish in Animal Crossing," she finished.

Steven nodded slowly. "So... I should definitely take more pictures of Peridot. And set up a screen lock."

"Whaaaat?" She gasped theatrically. "Are you saying you don't trust me not to go through all your pictures and messages- oh, that reminds me, Connie says hi. I said hi back for you, you're welcome."

"Thanks."

They walked in silence for a while until Steven remembered what he'd wanted to ask her. "Hey Amethyst, you said you got to choose what your room in the temple was like, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that's right."

"So why didn't you go for one like mine, that could do whatever you wanted?"

Amethyst shrugged. "Didn't know it was an option, did I?" she said simply. "Then again, it was probably for the best. Can you imagine me with a room that did what I wanted? I'd never leave!" she laughed.

"Right." He nodded slowly. Of course she didn't know. She'd been alone in the Kindergarten for years until his mom had found her. But... "So why do you think Garnet and Pearl didn't go for a room like mom's either?"

"I dunno. Never really thought about it before." She tapped her chin as she considered the question. "I guess... maybe they thought 'cause Rose was in charge, she deserved it the most?"

"Maybe," he conceded. Now that he thought about it, that definitely sounded like something Pearl would do. Something about the whole thing still bothered him though, but before he could figure it out, they'd reached the warp pad, and the moment they reappeared in the house, Peridot launched herself at him.

"Well? How did it go?" she demanded. "Do you feel able to proceed tomorrow as planned?"

"It went great," he assured her.

"He landed me in the middle of desert," Amethyst butted in.

"But I'm pretty sure I know why, and it won't happen again," he hastily concluded, and leaned down to give his girlfriend a quick kiss before she could question him further. "What about the drill, how did the test run go?"

"Oh, it went perfectly," she boasted, turning to Garnet and Pearl, who nodded in confirmation. "I drilled down to the the lithosphere-asthenosphere boundary with no problems. I didn't even encounter any fusion experiments."

"That's good," he said with relief.

"That doesn't mean there won't be any around tomorrow," Garnet warned him. "Our tests may even have attracted their attention, so be on your guard."

"I will," he promised.

"We'll be in radio contact the whole time this time," Pearl added. "And we'll be stationed in the Kindergarten, so if you have any problems-"

"We won't be able to do anything to help you because there's only one drill, so we'll be forced to sit there helplessly and listen to you die," Amethyst finished cheerfully.

"Nobody's going to die," Garnet said firmly. "Now, we have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow, I suggest we all relax for the rest of the day."

"Great idea," Steven said at once. "I was thinking pizza and a movie?"

Amethyst's expression brightened. "Oooh, can we watch-"

"No," he said at once, remembering the horrible alien film she'd made him and Peridot watch. "Nothing too long either, me and Peridot want a little time together before I have to go to bed."

"You're going to be spending four hours alone in the drill tomorrow," Amethyst complained, as Pearl nodded in agreement behind her.

"Yes, but that's for work," Steven said patiently. "Not for fun."

"Just think of Steven's mental health," Peridot spoke before the gems could start questioning just how much fun they planned upon having. "He may possibly need to use his psychic powers tomorrow for the first time after a significantly traumatic experience! Surely it's a good thing for him to be in a- a pleasant state of mind first?" she argued. "In fact, a date could be crucial to the success of the entire mission!"

"All right, fine, you win," Garnet laughed. "We'll watch a short movie and leave you two alone."

In the end, they chose an old House Of Mouse movie to watch with a pizza made by Pearl and Amethyst and cooked to perfection by Ruby, and then after the credits had rolled and the kitchen had been tidied, the three elder Crystal Gems said their goodbyes and disappeared into the temple.

"Alone at last," Peridot said happily, looping her arms around Steven's neck and leaning up on tiptoe to give him a kiss. "I shall go and change into something more comfortable," she said in a sultry tone.

"Ah, that won't be necessary," he said, smiling at the quizzical look on her face. "I have something special planned. Just wait here a minute," he said, stepping out of her embrace with some reluctance. "I'll let you in when it's ready."

Inside his room, all traces of their date the night before had vanished and once again all that could be seen were fluffy pink clouds and Lapis's boxes. "All right room, same again," he declared. "You are only to obey my verbal commands, and only when I use the keyword 'clod'. Is that understood? Clod."

The tiny pink whale popped into existence. "Understood."

The thought briefly crossed his mind that the room must still be reading his mind somehow if it was using the whale to communicate rather than just replying with a disembodied voice, but he decided not to worry about it. It worked, after all. "First of all, you are not, under any circumstances whatsoever, to force Peridot to do anything she doesn't want to do. Clod. Can you confirm your instructions for me?"

He waited. There was no reply. "Oh, sorry, clod."

"Peridot must not be forced to anything she doesn't want to do, not under any circumstances whatsoever," the whale said at once.

"OK, good. That's good." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to remember the other instructions he wanted to give the room. "Right. Next, I don't want the other gems to be able to hear us or disturb us in any way. Soundproof the whole place and don't let them in. Clod. Confirm? Clod."

"The other gems will not be able to hear you or enter the room to disturb you," the whale confirmed in a monotone.

"Good." He relaxed and flexed his fingers. Now the ground rules had been set, he could start getting creative.

xxx

Several minutes later, he poked his head out of the door to find Peridot had vanished. "Peri?" he called, wondering if he'd lost track of time in the room. He looked back into the room and bit his lip, debating whether or not to step outside and go find her and lose all his hard work, but when he turned back, she was jogging towards him.

"Sorry, I know you said I didn't need to change, but there was Kindergarten debris upon my previous attire," she explained, stopping in front of him and smoothing down her skirt.

"You were wearing my sweater and your regular jumpsuit," he reminded her.

"And there was Kindergarten debris upon it," she replied at once. "So! Shall we proceed?"

"Ah! Yes!" He stepped aside and bowed deeply as she passed. "Behold!" he said proudly.

Peridot's mouth dropped open. They were standing on a gravel path in front of a magnificent castle. The enormous gates stood open to allow them entry and just beyond, she could see the courtyard. She turned around in a slow circle, taking in the beautifully maintained parkland and the lake just visible in the distance. "It's incredible!" she gasped.

Steven grinned with pride. "I tried to think of something to do with the hammock," he explained, taking her hand as they started walking to the gate. "But all I could think was like, tropical beaches or a forest, y'know, with trees to hang it from, and it just didn't feel _right_ , I kept thinking I wanted to treat you like a princess. And then I thought, why not literally? So, castle."

"I love it, I love it!" she said, bouncing on her toes with glee as she took another look around. "Is it based upon a real castle?" Some of it did look rather familiar.

"Bits of it, I think," Steven admitted, confirming her suspicions. "I have no idea how to make up a castle myself, so I let the room do it from ones I've seen. Like..." He narrowed his eyes and pointed at a tower. "I think that might be from Camelot? And that bit over there's definitely from Hogwarts."

"Heh, Hogalot Castle. How romantic," she snickered.

"Eugh." He screwed up his nose. "Then again, Camewarts isn't much better. Or Camehog. Oh dear."

"Wartsalot!" she exclaimed and laughed harder.

"Nooo, that's even worse!" He bit his lip and tried to think of something that didn't sound like an STD. That would definitely be a mood-killer! "How about..." he said slowly. "Periven Castle?"

"Periven Castle? As in, our names?" She mulled it over and then smiled. "I like it. Periven Castle it is."

"Then let us proceed to Periven Castle," he declared. "I believe the King and Queen are expecting us."

Peridot giggled happily and allowed herself to be led to the wide, stone steps at the front of the castle, where an ornately dressed gentleman stood. "Greetings, I am Fotheringhay," he said formally, and bowed to them. "Prince Steven and Princess Peridot, I presume?"

Steven nodded. "Yep, that's us."

"This way, please." They followed him into the entrance hall, where he stopped and gestured towards two more elaborately uniformed people who were waiting, one male and one female. "Allow me to introduce Mott and Bailey, your servants. They will show you to your rooms and help you prepare for the ball."

"Ball?" Peridot repeated in a breathless squeak as she finally realized why Steven had told her not to bother changing beforehand.

"To welcome you as honored guests," Fotheringhay explained.

"This way, if you please," Mott and Bailey said in unison, and turned and walked towards a large and looming central staircase. The couple followed them upstairs and down a series of hallways until they stopped outside a set of heavy, wooden doors. "Your rooms, Princess," Mott-or-Bailey said (neither Steven nor Peridot were entirely sure which one was which), standing aside to let Peridot pass. "I have unpacked your cases as instructed, if you would like to choose a gown."

"Wow, thanks." Peridot's eyes fell upon the dresses hung over a large screen in the corner of the room, and lit up greedily. As she made a beeline towards them, Steven stepped forward, only to find his way barred.

"Ah, Prince Steven, your rooms are _this_ way," the other servant said politely, gesturing towards the door on the other side of the hallway.

"Oh. Right." Steven bit his lip and looked at the door, then back at Peridot. "Of course," he said, but he couldn't quite bring himself to leave the room.

"Steven?" Peridot finally noticed he hadn't moved. "Is something wrong?"

"No!" he lied. Then he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "OK, yes, sorry. I know I'm probably just being paranoid, it'll be fine so long as I don't make any dumb 'I want' statements, and it's not like I'm going to accidentally say the keyword..." He trailed off, seeing that he was only making her more confused. "The two Connies thing. She was choosing a costume, and I wasn't looking and I said I wanted to see her, and that's when it made a second Connie."

"Ah." Peridot nodded slowly. "Well then... why don't we take the screen and the clothes into your room? And we can converse while we dress so you know I haven't been duplicated?"

"Hmm..." Steven considered the suggestion and eventually decided that would be enough to put his mind at ease, and so Mott and Bailey carried the screen and clothes across the hall and into the room opposite. "That's better," he said happily, seeing that the top of Peridot's pointy hair was just visible over the top of the screen.

"Are you sure?" Peridot stood on tiptoe, trying to see over the top. "I could sing a song if that would help."

"I wouldn't mind a song," he admitted.

Behind the screen, Peridot grinned and inhaled deeply. "A long, long time ago, I can still remem-"

"After careful consideration, I have changed my mind!" Steven yelled.

Peridot laughed and held up her arms to allow the female servant to take off her dress; she could do it herself, but it was rather fun having a servant to do it for her. "I can take requests," she called back, her voice slightly muffled as the dress was pulled over her head.

"Really?" Steven slipped his arms into a shirt and pretended to consider this offer. "How about The Sound Of Silence?" he joked.

Peridot snickered and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. She could already tell where the joke was heading, but she played along anyway. "Helloooo darkness my old friend-"

"Nooo, I meant no singing!"

Both of them started laughing, and then Peridot yelped as her servant began lacing her into a corset. "Well it appears you're going to get your request," she grumbled. "Because I can longer breathe."

Steven blinked and tilted his head slightly to look over the screen at her (or rather, her hair). "Do you actually _need_ to breathe?"

"No," she admitted. "But I find it much easier to sing when I do."

"All done." The servant stepped back and smiled. "Would you like a mirror, your highness?"

Peridot hesitated, wondering if a mirror would even work. Best not to mess with the room any more than necessary, she decided. "No, thank you."

As it turned out, she didn't need a mirror. Steven was waiting for her when she stepped out from behind the screen, and the stunned look on his face was all the mirror she needed.

"Wow! You look- wow!" He took her hands in his and gazed down at her in adoration. "We have _got_ to find an excuse to go to a fancy dress-up thing in the real world some time."

"I agree," she said, casting an admiring eye over his own fancy outfit. "Although first we would have to purchase formal attire."

"Hmm." Steven wrinkled his nose up slightly as he tried to mentally calculate how much his posh military jacket and sash and Peridot's dark green silky ballgown would cost. Hundreds of dollars, probably. Not including the additional cost of attending a fancy dress-up event in the first place. "Well, until then..." He held out his elbow for her to take. "Allow me to escort you to the ball, my Princess."


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

"-And I said, my Lord, I had forgot the fart."

Snow White, Lady Morgana and Queen Elizabeth the Second laughed politely. Peridot, who had now heard the same story from Queen Elizabeth the First three times now, tuned out the conversation and looked around the room with interest. It was a fascinating glimpse into her boyfriend's mind, she realized. To him, a castle was a medieval fantasy construct, not the sort of place people lived in nowadays, and so the furnishings were all old-fashioned, and the band played on harps and flutes instead of electric guitars and keyboards. But his music knowledge was a lot more modern, which meant the lead vocals were being sung by none other than Beyonce. As for the guests, they had all been ripped from Steven's rather spotty knowledge of royalty, which mostly meant Disney princesses, the cast of Merlin, a few of the more famous Kings and Queens of England, and Prince, who didn't seem to quite know if he was there to sing or mingle.

Across the room, Steven caught her eye and smiled. He turned back to The Beast and said something to him before crossing the room to join her. "Hey, having fun?"

"I am now," she said, allowing herself to be drawn into his embrace. "Although Queen Elizabeth has told her fart story three times now," she said, looking up at him with mild annoyance.

"Oh, the one about the guy who farted and was so embarrassed he left-" Steven began.

"Yes, that one, I don't need to hear it a fourth time," she said sternly.

"Sorry." He laughed sheepishly. "I read it on the internet ages ago, I don't even know if it's true. I really know much else about her though. If it makes you feel any better, I know even less about King George. He literally just said 'blah blah blah' to me."

"Then why is he here?" she asked, taking another look around the room. "How do you even know all these old kings and queens anyway?"

"Honestly? From Horrible Histories songs," he admitted. "I saw one on TubeTube and it was pretty funny, so I watched a bunch of other ones."

At that moment, the band struck up a new tune, and Steven looked hopefully down at her. "Wanna dance?"

"I'd love to," she replied, and allowed him to lead her onto the dance floor. For the next forty minutes, they danced enthusiastically to anachronistic music, until finally Peridot decided her feet hurt. "It's the heels," she said mournfully, pulling up the hem of her skirt so that he could see her pretty beaded shoes. "I just wanted to be a little taller, to try and catch up with you." She pulled a face. "I think perhaps I would've been more comfortable if I'd sawed my feet off entirely and welded some of my drones in their place."

Steven stopped dancing at once. "Oh no, Peridot, I'm so sorry! I'll try and see if I can get the room to do something-"

"No, no, my shoes are fine!" she hastily reassured him. "I was merely inventing a reason for us to go back to our rooms!"

"Oh!" He paused and looked suspiciously down at her feet again. "Are you _sure?_ You were very convincing."

"I once purchased a pair of heeled shoes to see how they compared to my limb enhancers," she explained. "They were aesthetically pleasing, but deeply uncomfortable, so I turned them into meep-morp and decided to stick with paint cans."

"Very sensible," Steven agreed. "I suppose in the meantime, we should return to our rooms and get you out of that footwear." He leaned in closer and smiled devilishly. "And all your _other_ wear."

"Ooooh!" Peridot giggled and then let out a small squeal as he swept her off her (completely pain free) feet.

"Do excuse us, your Highnesses and Majesties," Steven apologized, attempting to bow with his arms full of Peridot, which had the unintended but very nice side effect of making her hold on tighter. "A medical emergency. Must dash. Thank you ever so much for the ball, please don't stop on our account!" And they were out of the room and halfway up the stairs before any of the other guests could react.

"All right..." Steven slowed to a halt outside their rooms. "If I remember right, and to be honest, I don't think I'll ever forget any of it, you said your room."

"I did," Peridot confirmed. "But-"

Her question died on her lips as Steven nudged the door open and stepped into the room. What had once been a generic medieval-fantasy-Disney castle bedroom was... well, still mostly a medieval-fantasy-Disney castle bedroom, except now it had her multicolored string lights around the window, her cluttered desk in the corner and her IKEA wall shelf where she kept her ice-cube tealight holders.

"I know it's not quite the same, but it's definitely your room, right?" Steven said a little smugly.

Peridot grinned and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Yes, I suppose it's close enough," she agreed.

"Goody good." He stepped fully into the room, kicked the door shut and then walked over to the four poster bed and dropped her on it. "Now let's see..." he purred seductively. "I believe you said the next thing I did was pin you down and kiss you, correct?"

"That's- eep! Correct!" she yelped as he suddenly straddled her and held her wrists gently but firmly above her head. Then his lips met hers in a long, slow kiss that made her squirm with happy anticipation.

"And then..." He traced a line from her chin down to her bodice and grinned. "I believe you said I removed your pajama top, am I right? And when I say 'pajamas', I mean this lovely dress, which looks very nice on you by the way, but would look even better not on you."

Peridot couldn't help letting out a small snort of laughter at that. "You were a lot quieter when I imagined this," she reminded him.

"Was I really? Doesn't sound like me," he said cheerfully, making her giggle more. "Perhaps it was because I had my mouth full," he teased.

She opened her own mouth to explain why, but at the moment the words formed on her tongue, they heard the sound of footsteps outside and froze.

"Yo, Steven!" Amethyst's voice rang through the heavy wooden door, far too close for comfort. "You in there?"

Peridot looked up at her boyfriend with eyes that were wide with alarm and confusion. " _Is she really here?_ " she mouthed.

The question cut through his panic and he forced himself to think properly and remember the exact commands he'd given the room. "No," he finally whispered back. "I told the room to keep them out. It confirmed the order. I think... I think it's the room's way of replicating why I'm supposed to be quiet."

"Oh." Peridot relaxed slightly and then tensed all over again when there came a loud knocking at the door.

"Hellooo, anybody in?"

The couple remained silent and waited, both silently vowing to poof her if she actually made it inside the room. But their patience paid off, and after a few seconds, the footsteps started up again, this time heading away.

"Whew." Steven sagged with relief. "OK room, I can take a hint. I'll be quiet." He raised his head and looked quizzically at Peridot. "Right, where were we?"

"Keeping your mouth occupied," Peridot hissed, and took care of them problem herself by covering his mouth with her own.

They carried on in this manner for a few more minutes until Steven remembered he'd actually been about to deal with her 'pajama top' before they'd been so rudely interrupted. He valiantly attempted to unlace her dress without looking, but in the end, he was forced to stop kissing her so he could actually see what he was doing. "Sorry," he whispered, letting go of her wrists so she could sit up. "Surprisingly complicated piece of clothing," he complained, peering over her shoulder at the back of her dress.

"Wait until you see the corset," she whispered back.

"I don't _want_ to wait," he whined, and fumbled with the strings. But in his hurry, he pulled too hard. There was a familiar, faint _pop_ and the entire dress disappeared.

Taken entirely by surprise, Peridot shrieked and folded her arms across her chest before she realized she still had the corset on and that getting rid of the dress had been the whole point anyway. "Oh." She blushed and slowly lowered her arms. "Well. That certainly is convenient."

"Ah, of course!" He smacked himself on the head and immediately regretted it. "Ow. Our clothes aren't real!" And he concentrated, flexed, and smirked with pride when his shirt ripped down the seams and vanished.

"Oooooh!" Peridot's eyes lit up and she pulled him in for another kiss, parting her lips to let his tongue slide past hers. They fell back onto the bed again, and her hands went to his waistband, hoping to pull the same trick, but Steven caught her and pinned her wrists above her head again.

"Ah-ah, I don't remember you saying anything about taking my pants off," he murmured, and kissed her so she couldn't respond. "Just your 'pajama top'." And he sat up slightly, took hold of the top of her corset and pulled. There was the familiar _pop_ and at once, Peridot was clad in nothing but her panties. Steven had seen her breasts before, of course, and had even got his hands on them during some of their steamier makeout sessions, but he couldn't help simply staring at her naked chest until she wriggled impatiently. "Sorry," he whispered with a grin. "You distracted me."

"I can tell," she retorted, angling her hips up so that his growing erection was pressed more firmly against her.

Steven bit back a moan and reluctantly admitted to himself that maybe he needed a different distraction now if he was going to live up to fantasy Steven. Math, perhaps. _One times one is one, two times two is two, three times three is three- wait, that's not right._ "Ahem," he coughed, and moved away slightly. Then he kissed a spot on her jaw. _One._ Another one just below her ear. _Two._ The hollow of her throat, her shoulder, her collarbone. _Three. Four. Five._

That was better. He felt more in control of himself now. He kissed a few more spots on her chest and then, feeling he'd restrained himself for quite long enough, he closed his lips around one of her nipples, and finally released her wrists and gently tweaked the other one, smiling to himself when Peridot gasped loudly. "Shh," he whispered, and moved his mouth other to the other nipple, where his healing spit immediately healed the faint pain.

"I'm try-ah!" she squeaked as he pinched her other nipple. "But you're making-eep! Very difficult!"

"Try harder," he scolded in a hushed tone and kissed a spot on the underside of her breast . "'Cause I'm going to make it even more difficult soon."

Peridot whimpered and gripped the bed covers tighter as Steven started kissing her belly. Was that footsteps she could hear again in the distance, or was it just blood pounding in her ears? She inhaled sharply and bit her lip, her heart racing, matching the throbbing in her groin.

She wasn't wearing shorts, of course, so when Steven reached the waistband of her panties, he paused to kiss the fabric just once before kissing all the spots he could see on her thighs, starting from the outside and working his way in until he was facing the gusset. The damp patch was larger than yesterday and he felt a surge of pride. Score one for Real Steven, he thought smugly and pressed his lips against it, making Peridot whine with longing.

Then he moved back up her body and kissed her breasts again.

"Steven!" she hissed, and tried to push him down again. "Please!"

"You said," he reminded her. "You said you had to beg me to go back down."

"Please please pretty please," she begged at once.

He pretended to consider it. "All right, I suppose that's good enough," he whispered, and moved back down again. Once again, he kissed the damp spot on the panties, then he hooked his fingers into the waistband and slowly peeled them down, uncovering her pussy, the folds glistening with her arousal. Then he pressed his tongue up against her and licked.

What he lacked in skill, he more than made up for in enthusiasm, and when he slipped two fingers into her, Peridot's mouth fell open and she grabbed a nearby cushion and covered her face with it to muffle her voice. Then she realized she couldn't see Steven any more and tossed it aside, and as his tongue lapped relentlessly against her clit, she decided she didn't care if anyone heard them anyway. "Aaah... S-Steven..." she panted, trying not to buck her hips too much and throw off his rhythm. "Ngh.. pl-please..."

The pleasure was almost more than she could stand and finally, she gave up trying to speak, trying to hold back, and twisted the covers in her fists. Her body tensed, her back arched, and she cried out wordlessly, waves of ecstasy rolling through her as she came.

Steven waited until she'd slumped back down onto the bed, and then shifted back up and nuzzled her neck. "Was it good?" he murmured.

"Mmmm." Peridot stretched and smiled serenely. "Very much so."

"Better than imaginary Steven?" he teased.

"Imaginary who?" She rolled over and snuggled against him. "I'll never be able to be satisfied with him now. I'll need you to provide assistance from now on whenever I have any... urges."

"Oh no, what a chore," he said in a monotone. "Nah, I'm just kidding, I would be more than happy to oblige." He turned his head and kissed a spot on her cheek and paused. He'd lost count some time ago, but he definitely remembered there being more spots there before. "Huh. They really _are_ healing."

"Hmm?"

"You had three spots just here," he explained, poking her cheek gently. "I remember, 'cause they were in the shape of a triangle and I thought it was cute. And now there's just one."

"Really?" Peridot beamed with delight. "They're really healing?"

"Really." He gave the last remaining spot another kiss and watched with interest as it faded slightly. "Well! In that case, Doctor Steven prescribes kisses several times a day until you're fully healed. And then lots of kisses after that. Just to be sure."

Peridot laughed and hugged him tight, and once again, his erection pressed up against her. "Ah, that reminds me! Your turn!" She sat up, grabbed the waistband of his pants and tugged.

Nothing happened.

"Nghh!" She gritted her teeth and pulled harder, straining with effort, but finally she was forced to admit defeat. "Hmph. You may have to assist me in this as well."

Steven laughed and sat up. "I feel like a stripper," he commented, and grasped the fake fabric around his knees. He paused for dramatic effect, and pulled, and the pants instantly vanished. "Tada."

"Wonderful! I can manage the rest," she assured him and lunged for his underpants.

"Ah, careful, those are real!" he warned her, just as a seam split.

"Oops." Peridot quickly let go and winced as the elastic snapped across his belly. "Sorry!"

"Ouch." He flinched and looked mournfully down his body. "I think I'm going to need you to kiss that better."

"Um, OK," Peridot said a little doubtfully, but she obediently leaned over and kissed him on the stomach. "Better?"

"Much." He leaned up on his elbows and gave her a charming smile. "Now, while you're down there..."

Peridot laughed and took hold of his underpants again, and this time she was more careful, and a few seconds later, she was facing his cock. "So..." she said slowly, taking hold of it and letting it slide through her grip. "If my research is correct-"

"Research?" he interrupted, sitting up a little straighter.

"Oh, you know." She blushed. "Fanfiction."

"Fanfiction?" he repeated warily, remembering some of the dubious things he'd read himself.

"And... videos," she mumbled, blushing harder and keeping her gaze fixed firmly on the penis in her hands. She rubbed her thumb over the tip, then stuck her tongue out and gave it a tentative lick. "It all appeared fairly straightforward. Mostly. Unless you'd really like me to put an ice cube in my mouth?"

She licked the head again, momentarily distracting him. "Uh, ah, no, I don't- I don't think so," he stammered. "Just... uh, straightforward."

"Very well." Peridot stared at him a moment longer in silent contemplation, and then leaned forward and took him in her mouth, as deep as she could. Then she pulled back and swirled her tongue around the head before bobbing back down again.

Steven groaned and sank back onto the bed covers. Her mouth was warm and wet, her tongue moving against him in the most magical way and all at once, he understood what she meant about imaginary Steven. His own imagination was never going to be able to live up to this, not even if he asked the room to recreate this exact moment. "Hah... yeah... like that, that's good," he panted, reaching down and running his fingers through her hair. "Ah! No teeth!" he yelped as she looked up and grinned at him.

She let out a 'hmm' of apology, feeling the vibrations in her throat, and restrained herself from smiling again when his grip faltered. For the next few minutes she worked diligently, licking and sucking and rolling his balls gently with her free hand, until she felt him tense. "Ahh... Peridot... I-I'm gonna..."

She glanced up, acknowledging his garbled comment, and carried on relentlessly. All he could do was watch helplessly as she bobbed up and down on his cock until it was too much for him to bear. His hands dropped to his sides and gripped tightly at the covers until finally, he came.

Peridot waited until she felt him relax, and then sat up and wiped her mouth. "Was it good?" she asked, unconsciously repeating his own earlier question.

"Better than good. Amazing." He sighed and threw an arm across his face. " _You're_ amazing. Whatever fanfiction you've been reading, I wholeheartedly approve."

She laughed and lay down on top of him. "You weren't bad yourself," she teased. "What have _you_ been reading?"

"Um." A mental image of a couple of filthy e-magazines he kept on his Kindle with fake covers popped into his mind. "Nothing much. Just, y'know, stuff."

"Mmm. Keep reading it," she ordered.

They lay there quietly for a little longer, simply enjoying the feeling of being together. Steven felt himself growing drowsy and yawned widely, then jolted back to attention when Peridot sighed and sat up. "I suppose we'd better go back to the house now. We have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow, and you need to sleep."


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

The house was dark and quiet when they stepped out of the temple a few minutes later. "Well, I'm gonna go take a shower before I go to bed," Steven said, turning to face Peridot. "What about you, what are you planning on doing tonight?"

Peridot looked up at him with wide-eyed innocence. "I thought I might read some fanfiction. For tomorrow," she said, a small smile appearing on her face as she watched him blush and squirm. " _Are_ we going back into the room tomorrow?"

"Erm..." He shook his head and tried to think clearly. "I guess it depends on how things go."

She nodded a little sadly. "I suppose the gems will wish to spend the evening celebrating our successful mission."

"Yeah." He sighed and pulled her in for a hug. "I'd really like to though."

"Mmm." She tilted her face up and gave him a small kiss. "Me too. Perhaps I can adjust some of the settings in the drill," she said, mostly to herself. "If I divert some of the coolant to the drill head, I can increase the speed of our descent..."

Steven smiled at the thoughtful look on her face. "'Kay, well, I'll see you in the morning. Love you."

"Uh huh," Peridot said absently, now completely distracted by her mental calculations, and it wasn't until she heard the bathroom door close that his words registered. "Wait, Steven!" She ran across the room and skidded to a halt in front of the door. "I love you too!" she shouted. Then she skipped back across the house and pushed her door open. "Gah!"

"Hey," Garnet said mildly. "Good date?" Next to her, Amethyst waggled her fingers in greeting.

"What are you two doing in my room!?" Peridot hissed furiously.

"Uh, Celebrity Dance Parade is on." Amethyst pointed at the television screen. "Duh."

Peridot stared speechlessly at her for several seconds. "Uh, excuse me!? You can't just come into my room and watch my television without asking me!"

"Sorry. We didn't think you'd mind," Garnet said apologetically.

"Yeah, what's the big deal? You let us watch it the other night," Amethyst protested.

"That doesn't mean I gave you permission to let yourself into my room every other night!" Peridot burst out. "This is _my_ room! Watch television in the house! Watch television in _your_ room!"

"I don't have a television in my room," Amethyst argued.

"You have a dozen!" Peridot shot back. "I saw them when we were retrieving the escape pod!"

Amethyst hesitated and then corrected herself. "I don't have a _working_ television in my room."

"I don't care!" Peridot finally snapped. "Get out! Now!"

"But-" Amethyst began, looking longingly back at the screen.

"We're going," Garnet hastily cut in and dragged Amethyst out of the room before Peridot could throw something at them.

The door slammed shut behind them and Amethyst scowled and shook herself free. "Well that's just great," she complained. "Now we've missed the end of Johnny's routine. How come you didn't see that coming?"

"I did," Garnet reminded her. "You just ignored me."

"Yeah... well..." Amethyst blustered. "Ah forget it." She stomped over to the TV and leaned over to switch it on. "Can you at least see if there's an ad break so we don't miss-hey!"

Garnet put the remote back down and pointed at the bathroom door, where they could now hear the sound of Steven singing over the running water. "Steven will be done shortly, we can't stay in here."

"So now what?" Amethyst whined.

Garnet shrugged. "Ask Pearl to help fix some of those TV's in your room?"

"But it'll be too late then! We'll have missed the rest of the show! And the first dance-off's tonight! And-"

"Tonight's dance-off will be between Julia and Ian," Garnet said abruptly. "Julia gets through by three votes to two."

"What!?" Amethyst stared at hr in open-mouthed horror. "Ian!? You're kidding. You have to be kidding me!" Suddenly her eyes narrowed. "You _are_ kidding me, aren't you?"

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," Garnet said cryptically, heading towards the temple doorway. "But if you ask Pearl nicely, you can find out soon enough."

Fifteen minutes later, Steven emerged from the bathroom, completely oblivious to everything that had happened while he'd been in there. He looked over in the direction of Peridot's room, where a strip of light shone below the door, and smiled to himself. Part of him was deeply tempted to go and see her one more time before he went to bed, but he really was very tired now, and he had just enough self-awareness to know that if he saw her again now, he wouldn't want to leave, and so he turned away and climbed the stairs to his room and slipped between the sheets. But still, he couldn't help wishing she was there, and as he closed his eyes and began to doze, he wondered how it would feel to be able to fall asleep with her in his arms...

"But this is what you wanted."

Steven bowed his head and stared miserably at the pompoms on his shoes as Blue Diamond continued to lecture him.

"We're _tired_ of your excuses, Pink. This Rose Quartz can't hurt you. You can't be swayed by a few unruly gems."

He opened his mouth to speak, but Blue held out her hand to stop him. "Enough!" Her voice softened and she tilted his chin up so that their eyes met. "You must understand. You... are a Diamond. Everyone on this planet is looking to you..."

He sighed and waited patiently as she continued her lecture for a few moments longer, and then she straightened up and followed Yellow Diamond out of the room, leaving him alone. For a few moments longer, he continued to stare at his shoes, then he stiffened when he heard a noise behind him. It seemed he wasn't alone after all.

He tried to turn around, but he was frozen in place, and all he could do was watch as the point of his mother's sword burst through the center of his torso and the pink shards of his gem fell to the ground-

"Steven! STEVEN!"

His eyes snapped open in the darkness, and he flung out an arm to ward off his unseen assailant. A muffled yelp reached his ears and he belated realized he wasn't being murdered, only woken up. "Sorry!"

Peridot peeped warily over the edge of his bed. "Are you awake now?"

"Uh, yeah." He blinked a few times and shook his head to clear it. "I think."

"I didn't mean to wake you- well, I did," she corrected herself, sitting down next to him. "You were making strange noises and I was concerned. Were you having another nightmare?"

His hands skimmed across the surface of his gem. "Yeah, I suppose I was," he said slowly.

"Then I shall begin preparing the hot chocolate," she announced. He opened his mouth to protest, but she'd already hit the light switch, forcing him to shield his eyes with a hiss. When he lowered his hand, she had already put the kettle on and was spooning cocoa into mugs, and so, with a sign of resignation, he got up and went downstairs to join her.

"So." She placed a mug of hot chocolate in front of him. "Tell me about it. Was it the same as the other one?"

"Which one?" he asked without thinking.

Peridot tilted her head and looked at him in confusion. "The... one where you tried to poof me and I turned into Pink Diamond and shattered and then _you_ were Pink Diamond. Why?" she asked, her eyes narrowed in sudden suspicion. "How many other nightmares have you had recently?"

"Just a couple," he mumbled, dropping his gaze to look at the melting marshmallows in his drink. "Three. Four, if you include that one."

"Steven!" she cried in dismay. "Why didn't you tell me!? I would've made you hot chocolate!"

"I forgot," he admitted. "The others weren't really nightmares anyway, they were just, y'know, weird. Like, the second time was when I had a nap at Dad's, I don't really remember it much at all, just that I was Pink Diamond and I was talking to Pearl and then she turned into Pink Diamond too. And then last night, I was Pink Diamond again," he continued. "And I was watching Yellow Diamond colonizing a planet or something and I was pestering her 'cause I wanted my own colony."

"And what about this one?" Peridot asked warily. "Was it another Pink Diamond one?"

"Yeah." He took a sip from his drink and tried to focus upon the details which were already rapidly fading from his mind. "I was Pink Diamond and Blue Diamond was telling me off because I didn't want Earth any more because of the rebellion. And then someone- well, I guess it must have been Mom- came up behind me and stabbed me and shattered my gem."

Peridot bit her lip and looked down at her hands, wrapped around her own mug of hot chocolate, several dark green spots still visible on her skin. "Do you think these dreams could be something to do with your exposure to corruption?" she asked, looking back at him with concern. "Perhaps you should listen to your dad's song again."

"I don't know." He shook his head helplessly. "I mean yeah, the first one spooked me 'cause it was similar to the dream, but the others didn't feel the same. It was more... they felt more _real_ ," he tried to explain. "I dunno, maybe it's some of my mom's memories or something, like maybe the corruption did something to my psychic powers and let me unlock them."

"But then why would you have a dream in which Pink Diamond was asking for a colony? Presumably that was before Rose Quartz was created," Peridot pointed out.

"Someone else's memories then?" he tentatively suggested. "I mean, it's not like I've never had Diamond dreams before."

Peridot frowned. "I don't know, but I don't like it," she said decisively. "Nightmares, corruption, memories, whatever they are, they shouldn't be interfering with your hiber- sleep," she quickly corrected herself. "I really think you should talk to the other gems about this, Steven. Even if they can't verify the earlier dreams, Garnet and Pearl at least can tell you a little more about Pink Diamond and how your mother shattered her."

"Eugh." Steven pulled a face. He'd never really asked all that many questions about the shattering of Pink Diamond, mostly because it seemed to upset everybody, including him. But she was right, he shouldn't be seeing Pink Diamond every time he fell asleep. Not to mention, the last time he'd had Diamond dreams was when Blue Diamond had been on Earth. Garnet had said they'd come to check on the Cluster eventually, and while he was fairly sure Blue Diamond wasn't back in Korea right at that moment, sobbing over Pink Diamond's palanquin (partly because the dreams weren't showing the present, mostly because he wasn't in floods of tears), what if this was a sign? "All right, I'll talk to them," he promised. "After we've dealt with the Cluster."

Peridot nodded with satisfaction and took another sip from her hot chocolate. "Good. It may turn out to be absolutely nothing to worry about," she said, trying to sound like she believed it. "I'd just feel better if the others were aware of this development."

"Yeah, me too," Steven admitted. He finished the rest of his drink, then placed the cup by the sink and gave Peridot a kiss on the forehead. "G'night, 'Dot. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, Steven. Sleep well," she replied, superstitiously hoping her words would be enough to make it happen.

But when she'd returned to her room and switched off the lights, Steven lay awake for another half an hour, until he finally gave up, reached for his phone and opened the music app. It couldn't hurt to put his father's song on while he slept. Just to be on the safe side.

xxx

Once the final checks were completed, Pearl and Peridot climbed back down the ladder and joined Steven and Amethyst. "Well, the drill's all ready to go," Pearl announced. She twisted her hands together nervously for a moment before she realized what she was doing and forced herself to stop. "Soooo... you can go whenever you're ready to go, I suppose."

Amethyst held up a hand. "Ah, but first – code names."

"Not the ones from Parks and Rec," Steven said at once. "You did that on our last mission."

"Ugh, all right, Mr If-I-had-To-Pick-A-Killjoy." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "In that case, I will be Puma. You will be Tiger. Garnet will be- where is G, anyway?"

"Right here," Garnet said on cue as she leapt out of the tunnel that lead to the control room and landed beside them.

"Your code name is Lion," Amethyst told her.

"Grr," Garnet said solemnly.

"Pearl, you are Cougar," Amethyst continued. "And Peridot..." A smirk slid across her face. "Your code name is Leopard."

Peridot scowled and folded her arms across her chest. "Hilarious."

"Amethyst, that was mean," Steven said quietly.

"It was just a joke," she said defensively. "She can be one of those weird, hairless cats instead if if bothers you that much."

"I think," Peridot said firmly, "that I would just like to be referred to by my name for this mission."

"Then that's settled," Garnet said before things could escalate any further. "Puma, Cougar, head down to the control room. Peridot, Tiger, good luck."

Peridot gave her a thumbs up and began climbing the ladder, but Steven hung back for a moment. "So... not that I think we'll have any problems, this isn't the first time we've done this, but I don't suppose you've got any helpful future vision advice in addition to that good luck?" he asked hopefully.

Garnet gave him a quizzical look. "Do you _really_ want me to look into your future right now?"

He laughed sheepishly. "Uh, no, I guess not, not really."

"I'm sure you'll both be fine," she assured him. "Now go save the Earth! Again."

He gave her a wave and scrambled up the ladder to join Peridot in the cockpit. "Oof, I swear there was more space than this last time," he muttered, trying not to smash his knees against the control panel.

"There was," she reminded him. "But you insisted upon growing up."

"Sor- pft!" He spat out a mouthful of her hair and tried again. "Sorry. Couldn't help it."

"Well... I suppose I must admit I do find your new form much more pleasant. Ow."

"Sorry," he said again and tried to move his elbow out of the way. "Ouch. Ah jeez. Maybe you should just sit on my lap."

Peridot giggled and gave him a playful swat on the arm, but before she could reply, there was a crackle of static from the control panel and Garnet's voice echoed though the confined space. "Drill Crew, this is Ground Control, just a reminder that we read you loud and clear."

Steven jumped and hit his elbow on the wall again. "Ack!"

"Uh, received, Ground Control. " Peridot fanned her heated cheeks and stabbed at a few buttons on the control panel. "We are ready to begin penetration."

There was a slight pause, and then Garnet spoke again. "Then you may proceed," she said over the sound of Amethyst's laughter.

Peridot's blush deepened, but the moment the drill started up, her demeanor became completely professional as she focused upon the task in hand. Steven kept quiet and watched her work for several minutes, not quite daring to move in case he bumped into her and sent them spiraling off course, but it was dark and hot and cramped, and the silence became unsettling. "Don't suppose you happened to bring some tunes along again?"

"Oh! Yes, sorry, I completely forgot." She leaned over and flicked a switch, but this time, instead of the cheesy elevator music, a bouncy pop song began. "It's linked to my tablet, so you can choose something else to play if you'd like."

The speakers crackled and Amethyst's voice sounded. "Play Hotel Gold!"

Steven smiled. "Actually, I had something else in mind."

And when the song finished, his father's tune began to play. "Good choice," Garnet said approvingly.

"I know the Cluster isn't corrupted, but I thought it might, y'know, keep them calm," he explained with a quick glance in Peridot's direction. "And any gem mutants, if they're around." _And me,_ he added internally. He was far more cramped and uncomfortable than he'd been the first time. And was it his imagination, or was it hotter too? A bead of sweat ran down his face and he wiped it away with the back of his hand. "Eugh."

"Is the temperature-" Peridot began, but then there was a banging noise above them and they both looked up sharply before exchanging looks. "That must be a gem mutant," she said, and handed him a controller. "Could take care of it while I ready the grabber?"

"The... grabber?"

"Yes, didn't I mention it?" She pulled a level and he watched in amazement as a mechanical claw unfolded from the side of the drill. "Last time we were down here, you were upset at having to abandon the gem mutants, so this time I installed a device to bring them aboard so they could be safely bubbled- eep!"

"You're _brilliant_ ," Steven declared, and kissed her again. "The absolute best."

The gem mutant began crawling across the windshield, and he swept into action and blasted it. At once, Peridot swung the claw around and caught the gem shards. The grabber retracted and a few seconds later, there was a clatter and she pulled at a handle, revealing a small compartment containing the gems. "Would you like to?" she asked, holding the fused shards out to him.

"Sure. Can't hurt to get a little last minute practice in." He raised his voice slightly. "Guys, I'm sending you a bubbled gem. Can you let us know if it arrives safely?"

"Of course," came Garnet's reply. He bubbled the gem, tapped the top and waited. "It's here," she said a few seconds later. "Good job, you two."

They encountered a few more gem mutants, but nowhere near as many as they had the first time, and they were far less aggressive. It seemed his father's song really did calm them down, just as it had in Peridot's corruption state. Still, after the fourth gem mutant, Steven found himself sweating profusely from the exertion. "Is it me, or is it really hot in here?" he asked, fanning himself with a hand.

"Oh! Yes," she exclaimed. "No, it's not just you, I adjusted the internal cooling systems and diverted coolant to the drill head in order to accelerate our rate of descent. Is it too uncomfortable for you?" she asked anxiously. "I can change the temperature it if it's too hot for you."

"Hmm... how much faster would we be if keep it as it is?" he checked.

Peridot took another look at the control panel. "At our current rate of descent, we'll arrive approximately thirty minutes ahead of schedule."

"Then let's carry on," he decided. He could put up with the heat if it meant getting back an hour earlier. "I'll just take off my shirt," he added slyly.

" _Just_ your shirt?" she teased, moving closer to him.

"Well... to start with."

He moved to close the gap between them when a crackle of static made them both jump. "Hey, uh, Tiger, Peridot, this is Puma reminding you once again that we can hear you loud and clear."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Steven took a swig from his bottle of water and pulled a face. It was probably warm enough to make a cup of coffee with; in fact, he was pretty sure he'd had colder cups of coffee from the Big Donut.

"Steven? Are you all right?" Peridot asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine," he assured her. "Water's warm," he added by way of explanation.

"Are you sure?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "You look pale."

"R-really?" he stammered, taken aback. "No, honestly, I'm fine! A-OK!" But if he were entirely honest with himself, he didn't feel fine. His stomach was churning, making him feel slightly nauseous, chills would run through him every now and then, leaving him in a cold sweat, and he kept coming out in goosebumps.

Peridot stared at him for a moment longer, not entirely convinced, then shook her head and turned away. "We're approaching the chamber," she informed him and the crew listening in from the control room. "Reducing speed now."

Steven sat up a little straighter and peered out of the window into the darkness, but it wasn't until they broke through into the chamber and he saw the strange, undulating shimmer on the surface of the bubble that he realized why he felt so strange. "We've scared the Cluster!"

"What?" Peridot said in surprise.

"What?" came an echo through the radio.

"We've scared the Cluster," he repeated, absently touching his gem. "'Cause we've come back, and it doesn't know why."

"It can tell we're here?" Peridot looked nervously through the window. "But... how? It's bubbled, it should be in a complete state of stasis."

"I dunno." He shrugged helplessly. "It bubbled itself, remember, maybe that has something to do with it. I just know we've freaked it out." He stared out of the window at the shimmering bubble and sighed. "I think I'm going to have to try and reassure it before I go out there and move it or it might panic and pop itself."

"Very well." Peridot leapt into action at once. "I had planned for this sort of eventuality," she explained, leaning over and pulling a handle on his chair. "So I installed reclining seats. Just in case."

"Recline-whoa!" he yelped as his seat tipped backwards. "Oh. Neat! These could definitely come in useful on the way back," he teased. "Just joking," he quickly added as a pointed cough sounded from the radio.

Peridot made no reply, instead busying herself by rolling up the shirt he'd discarded an hour ago, but as she leaned forward to tuck it behind his head, she hissed in his ear, "I'll see if I can convert the drill into a motor vehicle when this is over."

He laughed, then gave her a kiss and took one last look at the Cluster before he settled back into his chair and closed his eyes.

He pictured the Cluster in his mind, glittering with it's unworldly beauty just a short distance below. And as he pictured it, the floor beneath him seemed to fall away, leaving him floating just above the Cluster. "Hey," he said softly. "It's just me."

Several hundred voices replied in unison. "Why... why... WHY... what's wrong... why here... wrong... why... scared..."

"No, no, don't be scared! Everything's fine!" he rushed to assure them.

The Cluster calmed down a little, but he could still hear uncertain whispers. "Why... scared... why here... Diamonds... Diamonds..?"

He tried not to dwell upon the fact that just a few of those voices sounded almost hopeful. "I'm sorry we scared you, we didn't mean to do that. The Diamonds haven't come for you, don't worry." He hesitated for a moment. "But... we think they're going to. Eventually. And when they do, they'll want to use you to destroy the Earth."

"No... no... no..." the Cluster whimpered softly.

"I know," he said soothingly. "We really don't want that either. So I've just come to move your bubble to a safer place, that's all. It's a really nice place, you'll love it!" His eyes grew slightly misty as he fondly recalled that time he'd been trapped on Mask Island with Lars and Sadie, conveniently omitting the bit where Sadie had stranded them on purpose. "It's a beautiful tropical island, lots of sunshine, gorgeous sandy beaches, and friendly natives who've agreed to hang out with you and keep you safe – you'll like them, I made them myself. And you'll be able to see some of the world you helped save!"

The Cluster made quiet, crooning noises of approval and he smiled with relief. "OK. So, sorry again that we freaked you out, you're totally safe, I promise. I'm gonna go back to the drill now," he said, waving vaguely upwards in what he hoped was the right direction. "And then I'm gonna come back and just like, tap the bubble and send you to the island. That's all. And then you can go back to sleep and know the Earth's totally safe, OK?"

"Safe... sleep... safe..." the Cluster whispered, and fell silent. Sensing that all was now calm, Steven closed his eyes and felt himself drifting away.

When he opened his eyes again, he was back in his own body on the drill, and Peridot was curled up next to him with a hand on his chest, muttering quietly to herself. "What're you doing?" he asked sleepily.

Peridot yanked her hand back and blushed. "Nothing! Nothing at all! Just... keeping count," she mumbled.

"Keeping count?"

Her blush deepened. "Of your heart rate. It was Pearl's idea!"

"What!? No it wasn't!" Pearl's outraged voice squawked. "I just agreed that it was a sensible idea!"

"It doesn't matter who's idea it was-" Garnet cut in.

" _Pearl'_ s, _"_ Peridot mouthed.

"-The important thing is that Steven's awake now," Garnet continued. "So Steven, how did it go?"

"It went-" He paused, yawned, and stretched. "Oof. Yeah, it went well." He sat up as he spoke and looked out of the window again. The surface of the bubble was now clear and still and he smiled softly. "They're ready to go."

There was some muffled noise on the other end of the radio and then Garnet spoke again. "All right. Pearl's on her way to the warp pad now, she'll let us know when she's in position. Start getting ready."

"Here." Peridot snatched up his shirt and held it out to him. "You may want to put this back on, the harness will chafe."

"Kiss it better for him!" Amethyst yelled.

"As I do not possess healing powers, I shall not being doing that," Peridot replied calmly. She turned around and pulled a harness out of another compartment hidden in the wall. "Here. Would you like some help putting it on?"

Steven considered that for a moment. Did he _need_ help putting it on? Probably not. But that wasn't the question. "Yes please."

He stepped into the harness, and then stood there, a silly grin on his face, as Peridot adjusted and tightened all the straps. "You're enjoying this far too much," she whispered up at him as she tugged at the straps on his chest.

"Yeah, and I'm not even going to try and pretend I'm sorry about it," he whispered back. Peridot rolled her eyes and yanked the strap a little tighter, but she couldn't help smiling back at him.

"What are you two whispering about?" Amethyst asked suspiciously.

"Nothing!" they called back in unison. "I was just checking to make sure everything was comfortable," Peridot added.

"And I'm all comfy," Steven said.

"I'll bet you are," Amethyst muttered.

"I'm ready!" Pearl's voice cut in breathlessly.

Steven nodded even though Peridot was the only one around to see it. "So am I. So... here we go."

Peridot leaned up on her tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss. "You can do this," she said softly. "I know you can."

"Yeah." He took a deep breath and stood up a little straighter. "I can do this."

He climbed up out of the hatch, Peridot close behind, and began gingerly inching his way towards the edge as she fed the rope after him. Finally he reached the point where he couldn't keep his footing any longer, and so he briefly closed his eyes, thought happy thoughts, and floated in entirely the wrong direction. "Whoops. Too happy."

He tried to think of mildly upsetting things. Nothing too bad, like sending the Cluster to the wrong place, or the Pink Diamond dreams or something horrible happening to Peridot-

There was a brief feeling of weightlessness, and then he fell the few feet back down and bounced off the side of the drill before coming to a halt. "Yeek!"

"Steven!" Peridot crawled as far as she could to the edge without falling over herself. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine!" He gave her a thumbs up and a reassuring smile and hoped he didn't look as spooked as he felt. "You can lower me down now."

Peridot hesitated for a moment longer, and then wriggled back and began slowly letting the rope out again until Steven was suspended just above the Cluster. "Stop!" he called up to her. "I think I can reach it now!"

"OK!" Peridot shouted back, and wriggled back to the edge again so she could peer over the side of the drill and watch.

For several seconds, he simply stared at the Cluster. Then he closed his eyes and pictured the site they'd chosen on Mask Island. "I can do this," he told himself firmly. He opened his eyes again, stretched out his hand and tapped the bubble.

Instantly, the Cluster folded in on itself and vanished, leaving him dangling over the vast, empty cavern. There was nothing more he could do now, so he twisted around and gave Peridot a thumbs up. "All right, wind me in- yeek!"

"Sorry!" Peridot called down and wound him in a little slower.

As soon as he was close enough, he scrambled up over the side of drill and hopped up and down impatiently as she unhooked the rope from the harness. "Come on, we can deal with the rest inside!" he urged, and as soon as he was free, he grabbed her hand and jumped back in. "Did it worked?" he asked urgently. "Did they arrive safely?"

"They're here!" Pearl answered at once. "They're here and- oh my, it's _enormous!_ I had no idea it was so big- shut up, Amethyst!"

"They're really there!?" Steven said over the sound of Amethyst's laughter. "I did it? Really and truly!?"

"Yes!" Pearl shrieked. "You really did it, you wonderful, marvelous boy!"

"Way to go, Steve-o!" Amethyst cheered.

Steven closed his eyes, almost light-headed with relief; up until that moment, he'd been actively trying not to think about what might happen if he got it wrong and sent the Cluster someplace else. But it was over. He'd done it correctly. The Cluster was out and the Earth was safe.

A moment later, Peridot threw herself into his arms with a whoop of delight. "You did it!" she shrieked, and kissed him full on the mouth. "You did it, you did it! I always knew you could do it!"

" _We_ did it," he corrected. "I couldn't have done it without you. All of you," he added for the benefit of the listening gems. "You guys were the ones who did all the work making the drill, Peridot was the one who piloted it here. Without all of you, I'd still be stuck up on the surface, hoping the bubble was always gonna be enough to keep things under control." He blinked away sudden tears and smiled a wobbly smile. "We did it _together._ "

"In that case then, congratulations to everyone," Garnet said calmly. "And Tiger, Peridot? Hurry up and come back up here so we can all meet your friend."

xxx

The warp pad chimed, and the Watermelon Stevens immediately readied their weapons and adopted a defensive position. It wasn't until the light cleared and they saw Steven and the Crystal Gems, that they allowed themselves to relax.

"Whoa!" Amethyst's mouth fell open as she got her first look at the Cluster, towering over them as it floated just above the ground on the other half of the broken island.

"Didn't I tell you?" Pearl said, a little smugly.

"Y-yeah," Amethyst stammered. "But when you said it was enormous, I didn't realize you meant _huge!_ " She continued to stare at it in stunned disbelief for several seconds as the others stepped off the warp pad around her. "I can't believe we just _left_ that there in the ground," she breathed. For the first time, she understood how much danger they'd all been in. It was easily three times bigger than the temple fusion statue, and that was just the gem. No wonder Peridot had been so mad at them for constantly take time off working on the drill! "That could've destroyed the whole planet! Why didn't you tell us it was so big!?"

Peridot rolled her eyes but decided not to answer. She'd long ago figured out that the Crystal Gems thought she'd been exaggerating the danger posed by the Cluster when they were building the first drill. Instead, she reached for Steven's hand and held it tight.

"It looked smaller from above," Steven said, inadvertently answering Amethyst's question for her. "It's the angle."

Amethyst exhaled loudly and shook her head. "Man, we were sooo lucky that didn't blow up in our faces," she muttered.

"It's so beautiful. I didn't expect that," Pearl admitted. "I thought... well."

So far, Garnet hadn't said a word, but now she spoke. "Do we know who they were?" she asked, half-reaching out towards the Cluster before she caught herself.

"Uh, yes, there were records in the Kindergarten," Peridot said, feeling herself beginning to flush with guilt as Garnet turned to look at her. "I should have them backed up on my tablet, do- do you want me to fetch it for you?"

"Yes please," Garnet said, and gave her a small smile. Peridot gave her a slightly uncertain one in return and stepped back onto the warp pad before reappearing a minute later, hugging her tablet to her chest.

"Here," she said, holding it out to Garnet. "I opened the app ready, all you need to do is swipe across- like that," she added as Garnet did exactly that, flicking rapidly through the records.

"Oh! Is that Morganite?" Pearl gasped, leaning over Garnet's shoulder. "And Blue Lace Agate! I thought she'd been captured-" She stopped speaking and put a hand to her mouth when it suddenly struck her that that was exactly what had happened. "They're all here," she murmured.

Garnet continued to swipe through the records for a few more moments until she realized she had an audience. "Do you mind if I borrow this for a while?"

"Uh, no," Peridot said, because there really wasn't any other answer to that. "Go right ahead."

Garnet nodded and then sat down on the floor, clearly planning on settling there for a while. After a moment's hesitation, Pearl knelt down next to her, and soon they were completely absorbed in the final fates of their missing teammates.

"Come on guys, let's give them some privacy," Steven said softly, and led Peridot and Amethyst back down the cliff, towards the Watermelon's village.

"Geez, what a pair of Debbie Downers," Amethyst grumbled once they were out of earshot. "I thought we were gonna have a party or something, y'know, really celebrate the fact that we just saved the whole planet. Again."

"Well..." Peridot shrugged helplessly. "They knew those gems."

"Yeah, but they knew they knew those gems years ago," Amethyst persisted. "And they weren't like this when you guys first went down there and bubbled it. So why are they being like this now?"

"I guess seeing it made it feel more real," Steven said slowly. "Like... like, remember when you met all those other Amethysts in the zoo? You knew they existed before then, but I bet it didn't feel like it, right?"

"...Yeah, I guess so," Amethyst admitted. "When we were building the drill this time, I kept looking at all those holes and trying to figure out which ones they must have been in." She sighed and looked back over her shoulder. The Cluster was so huge, it was still clearly visible from halfway down the cliff. "Ah, let's go party with the Watermelons until they're ready to join us. We've earned it."


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

The Watermelon Stevens may not have figured out electricity, but that didn't mean they didn't know how to put on a party and so a few hours later, the Shorty Squad (less shorty now Steven had grown so much taller, but it amused them to keep the name) were clad in flower crowns and garlands and laughing together as the Watermelons put on a skit for their amusement. Peridot and Amethyst couldn't understand a word that was being said, but really, it wasn't all that difficult to understand the meaning behind a pie in the face.

Another Watermelon Steven ran forward holding another pie and skidded in the cream that had been left by the previous one. What followed was an almost elegant dance as they struggled to keep upright, but in the end, gravity won out and both pie and watermelon hit the ground.

"I'm dying," Amethyst wheezed as the unfortunate melon tried to stand up and started sliding around all over again. "I'm actually dying here Steven, help me!"

Beside her, Peridot was crying with laughter. "Ah- it hurts!" she laugh-sobbed, and toppled over sideways. "Nyeheheh!"

Amethyst wiped a tear from her own eyes and opened her mouth to mock her friend, but then she was distracted by the sight of several Watermelons marching past, all armed with wicked-looking spears. "Hey, Steven?" she asked sharply. "What's that all about, should we be worried?"

"Hmm?" Steven blinked and looked in the direction she indicated. "Oh! No, it's just shift change. They're taking it in turns to guard the Cluster."

"Oh yeah?" Amethyst looked around at the crowds with interest, suddenly remembering the fight against Malachite. "Are they _all_ gonna take turns?"

"Well not the kids, obviously," Steven clarified.

Amethyst watched the marching melons for a moment longer, and then tilted her head slightly to look at the Cluster, which was still just visible from the village. "You know," she said thoughtfully, "if the Diamonds come back again... I think this time, we could really beat them. I'm serious!" she urged as Steven and Peridot both turned to stare at her. "I mean, even if the Rubies told them you're alive and I exist, they still think they killed you, Garnet and Pearl," she explained, pointing to each of them in turn. "Y'know, Rose Quartz and her most loyal followers. But not only are you guys alive and kicking, we've got the Cluster out and on our side, and a loyal army of watermelons who've already proven they're ready and willing to fight for you!"

Steven frowned and looked around at the crowds of Watermelon Stevens who were still watching the skit. "I don't know if I'm really comfortable asking these guys to fight the Diamonds," he said in a low voice. "I still feel bad about how many of them died fighting Malachite."

"OK, but you kinda already asked them to fight the Diamonds when you asked them to guard the Cluster," Amethyst pointed out.

"It's their planet too," Peridot added. "It's in their best interests to help defend it."

"Plus," Amethyst carried on, seeing that he still didn't look very happy about the idea, "we're gonna be trying to cure some of the other corrupted gems next, remember? And we already know they're up for kicking some Diamond butt!" She slammed a fist into her hand for emphasis. "Heck, after spending thousands of years corrupted, they're probably looking forward to- what?" she asked as Peridot suddenly gasped and clutched Steven's arm hard enough to make him wince."

"I have just had an extremely horrible idea," she said, her eyes glittering with almost manic glee.

"Oh no," Steven groaned. "I don't know if I want to hear this."

Amethyst hesitated. "I have to admit, I'm a little intrigued. All right then, P-dot, what is it?"

"Well..." Peridot paused, enjoying the moment. " _We_ have their song."

A dead silence met her words. Finally Amethyst exhaled loudly and shook her head. "You're right, that's a horrible idea. Downright evil." A broad grin spread across her face. "I _love_ it!"

"I... don't love it," Steven admitted, although he couldn't help looking at his girlfriend with newfound respect.

"I'm not saying it should be our first line of attack," Peridot said hastily. "And it's entirely possible we wouldn't be able to corrupt the Diamonds anyway. But it's a new weapon in our arsenal that they're unaware of, so it's always worth keeping in mind."

"Jeez, remind me not to piss you off ever again," Amethyst said under her breath. She looked back at the skit, but she'd lost interest now. "I'm gonna go see how Pearl and Garnet are doing, you guys have fun."

They waved after her and turned their attention back to the stage, but their interest was now waning too and so once the skit was wrapped up, they climbed to their feet, thanked the performers and began walking back up the cliff towards the warp pad.

"So..." Steven began, giving his girlfriend a sideways look.

"All right, I admit it, I would rather like to give the Diamonds a taste of their own medicine," Peridot blurted out. "I know it's horrible of me-"

"Hey, I get it." Steven held his hands up in surrender. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't wanna make them suffer a little bit too. But that's kinda like, y'know, a nuclear option. Once we cross that line, there's no going back."

"Unless your father's song _does_ cure corruption," Peridot reminded him.

"True," he conceded. "Still, I think perhaps giant, corrupted monster Diamonds are something we should aim to avoid if possible, even if they are only temporary."

"All right." Peridot sighed and leaned her head against him. "Let's aim to just poof them and bubble them instead."

"Perfect." He nodded with approval and leaned down to kiss the tip of her nose. "And then Garnet and Pearl can go back to Homeworld and set up a democratic republic or something."

"What about Amethyst?"

Steven suppressed a grin at the thought of Amethyst in charge of Homeworld. "I think perhaps Amethyst might prefer to help with the more social... community... I have forgotten how to word."

Peridot snorted with laughter. "You mean help all the other gems get along together?"

"Yeah, that's it. She can throw a bunch of parties and get everyone mixing it up and making new friends."

"And..." Peridot stopped and tilted her face up towards him. "What about us?"

"Us?" He smiled back down at her. "We stay here and live happily ever after."

Peridot smiled back and leaned forward.

"And have three children and a dog and a farmhouse in the country."

"Three-?" She reared back again.

"I'm joking!" he quickly assured her. "I'm pretty sure _that's_ not going to happen."

"I have read the chapter on human reproduction. I know where babies come from. And where they come out." Peridot folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. "And that is _definitely_ not going to happen."

"Of course. Although... we could adopt," he hinted hopefully.

Peridot laughed and gave him a gentle shove. "Stop planning our entire future! I haven't even decided if I'm going to eat dinner tonight!"

"Sorry, sorry." He laughed as well and held his hand out to her "Come on. Let's go and see how Garnet and Pearl are doing."

Peridot allowed herself to be pulled along and soon, they were back at the top of the cliff where the other three Crystal Gems were waiting. But as soon as she spotted Garnet and Pearl, she let go of his hand and slowed down, wary of their obvious grief and her own previous role in the Cluster project.

But to her surprise, they both appeared to be smiling. And as soon as she was within reach, Pearl staggered forward, folded herself in half and burst into tears. "Th-han-ank you," she sobbed, dribbling snot and tears all over Peridot's shoulder. "We neh-hever would've knuh-knuh-hown whu-what ha-ha-happened to them if it hadn't been for you!"

"Um." Peridot fought down the almost overwhelming urge to break free and run away. "You're... welcome?"

"I didn't want to believe it was so many of them," Garnet said quietly, wiping away a tear. "It's painful, but at least now we have a clearer idea of how many we still need to find." She stepped forward and gently pried Pearl away before bending down to give Peridot a hug of her own. "Please don't blame yourself for what happened to them. You've given us closure."

"Um," Peridot said again, and squirmed uncomfortably.

"Put her down, G, you don't know where she's been," Amethyst joked, and to Peridot's immense relief, Garnet laughed and stepped back.

"We're going to stay here tonight and hold a vigil for them," she said, waving a hand towards the Cluster's immense form just in case there was any confusion over who she meant by 'them'. "Go ahead and go home and rest. We'll take a break for a few days before our next move."

"OK," Peridot said with relief, and shot over to Steven's side, where they both stood, looking expectantly at Amethyst.

"Hmm?" She blinked in surprise and pointed at herself. "Oh, me? Nah, I'm good, I'm gonna stick around here a while longer, and keep an eye on things" she said, and then discreetly gestured towards her elder team mates. "Go home, have a date or something!"

"Well, when you put it like that..." Steven grabbed Peridot's hand and pulled her over to the warp pad. "Bye guys! See you when you get back!"

Moments later, they were back in the beach house. Steven stepped off the warp pad and into the main house and stopped to look around. Food first or shower and change out of his sweaty, grubby clothes? Food, he decided. Changing into clean clothes before eating was a surefire way to wind up spilling it all over himself. He crossed over to the kitchen and started looking through the cupboards. "Hey, Peridot? Did you decide what you want..."

He trailed off as her arms snaked around his waist, embracing him from behind. "Yes," she breathed in his ear.

"I was kinda talking about dinner," he said, and let himself lean back against her a little.

"Mmm..." Peridot considered that for a moment and then slid one of her her hands underneath his shirt. "I'll have a feast of Steven," she said, and briefly rested her other hand against the front of his jeans.

A spark of anticipation shot through him; although they'd talked about it the night before, he really hadn't thought she'd be in the mood after Pearl and Garnet's somber reaction to the Cluster, but it seemed their thanks had cheered her up again. He was almost tempted to abandon everything and go to the room straightaway, but his stomach growled loudly, reminding him that he'd only eaten breakfast and a candy bar that day. "Uhhh..." He closed his eyes and tried to think, which was rather difficult, because all his blood was heading in the opposite direction of his brain. "Hold that thought, 'cause I really do need to eat," he admitted. "Food," he swiftly added, feeling her smirk against his back. "Or I'll faint halfway through."

"Hmm." She sighed and reluctantly released him. "That would be less than optimal," she admitted. "Very well. Consume your nutritional foodstuffs!" she declared. "You'll be needing the energy!"

Steven laughed and closed the cupboard door again. "All our food is boring. Let's go out to dinner," he suggested, turning to face her. "Make it a real date!"

Peridot hesitated. "I thought you were trying not to spend any money?"

"Well... yes, but I can just about afford to buy my girlfriend dinner at Tommy's Bistro this one time," he insisted. "It's a special occasion, after all."

She grinned and bounced on the balls of her feet. "All right, you've convinced me. I shall go and change into some more appropriate attire," she said, looking down at her default jumpsuit with disdain.

"Great!" He grinned back and took a step towards the bathroom. "I'm gonna take a quick shower, I'll meet you back out here shortly."

She gave him a thumbs up, spun around and made her way to her own room to find something nice to wear. As soon as the door closed behind her, she allowed her jumpsuit to vanish in a flash of light, leaving her entirely naked. For a moment, she was almost tempted to wear it on their date, purely to show Steven that feature, but she'd designed it almost three years ago and it was completely out of style now. Instead, she put on the silky, lacy underwear and short dress she'd chosen and put aside last night, just in case they did get a chance to be alone. A light jacket and nice shoes were all that was needed to complete the look, and once she was done, she grabbed a card from her desk and put it in her pocket and stepped back into the house.

She'd been fast, but thanks to his super-speed, Steven had been even faster and was already rummaging through the freezer for a Lion Licker. "Ah, hey- wow!" He whistled appreciatively. "You look great!"

"You don't look so bad yourself," she said, looking with approval at his smart button-up shirt and slacks.

"You think?" He grinned and spun around so she could look at his outfit from all angles. "I did think about wearing that white t-shirt you liked, but it wasn't really smart enough for-" He stopped, suddenly remembering the ice cream in his hand. "Oh, right, we have to actually _get_ there first. Lion!" He whistled loudly and shook the ice cream. "Liiiiiii-on! Come on," he added under his breath. They could always catch a bus into town, but loud tourists, whiny children and occasional pee-stained drunks rather spoiled the romantic atmosphere. "All right, here I go... I'm taking the wrapper off... I'm gonna eat- gyahh!"

Peridot couldn't help letting out an involuntary scream as well as Lion suddenly appeared in the middle of the room and crashed into Steven, sending them both skidding across the floor. She ran over to try and help, but Lion was already sitting up, the Lion Licker clamped firmly in his teeth.

"Bad Lion!" Steven scolded, trying to push the animal off his legs so he could stand up again. "I told you before, no portals in the house!" He reached out and tried to pull back the ice cream, then hastily let go as Lion growled at him. "OK, fine, you can have that one. And if you take us into town, I'll let you have a second one. Deal?"

Lion, of course, didn't reply, but he also didn't leap into another portal and vanish again, which was a good sign, so Steven grabbed another ice cream from the freezer and climbed on his back. Peridot hopped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, and then, once he'd finished chewing, Lion straightened up, roared, and jumped through the portal.

They appeared in the middle of the sidewalk just outside the restaurant. "Nice work, Lion," Steven said, petting his mane. "Here, you earned it. And if you stick around and take us home afterwards," he wheedled, "I'll bring you some tiramisu."

Once again, Lion was silent, but once Steven and Peridot had climbed off his back, he sat down beside the door like a furry pink door guardian, and so they both gave him another pat and entered the restaurant, where they were once again directed to a cosy little table decorated with a red and white checked tablecloth and a candle in a Chianti bottle.

"So, any idea what you want?" Steven asked after a smiley waiter had handed them a pair of menus and disappeared to fetch them some iced tea.

"I liked the lasagna you had last time," she decided.

"Yeah, it was tasty," he agreed. "Didn't make such a great pillow though. I think I'll try the cannelloni this time."

"I hope you don't mean to sleep in," she cautioned.

He laughed and shook his head. "I don't plan to do much sleeping tonight," he teased. "And when I do, it's going to be in my bed, not my dinner." A thought suddenly occurred to him and he leaned forward and grabbed her hands. "The gems aren't going to be home until morning, you could stay with me!"

Peridot considered his suggestion and then nodded slowly. "I don't think I want to sleep, but... I'd like that," she confessed.

The waiter reappeared with their drinks and a basket of bread, and the subject turned to more mundane matters. Their food arrived and was even more delicious than the last time, and then once the plates had been been cleared up and cleared away, Peridot leaned forward, a sparkle in her eyes. "Steven... I have something for you," she said dramatically. She reached into her jacket, and for a wild moment, Steven thought she was about to pull out a ring box and propose to him. Instead, she pushed the card across the table towards him.

"Uh, thank you." He picked it up and turned it over in his hands. It was made of dark green metal, about the size of a credit card, with no other distinguishing features. "What is it?"

Peridot's smile grew wider. "It's a keycard! To unlock the door to my room," she elaborate as he looked blankly at her.

"Oh!" He looked at the card again with surprise. "I thought you didn't have a lock on your door?"

"I didn't," she said flatly. "And I wasn't going to install one. But if the other gems can't respect my boundaries, then they don't get to complain when I enforce them. But," she said a lot more cheerfully, "I trust you not to abuse this privilege."

"I promise I'll always knock first," Steven assured her. "Thanks, Peridot." He sighed theatrically. "I wish I could return the favor, but you already live in my house. Maybe there's some way to give you access to my room in the Temple..." he muttered to himself, but he had a sneaking suspicion that the only way she'd be able to get in was with her own room, and that hadn't gone so well.

"It's fine, you spend the majority of your time in the house anyway," Peridot said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "You can always just let me into your other room when it's necessary. Speaking of which..." She leaned forward and gave him an impish smile. "I believe it's necessary."

"I do believe you're correct," he agreed solemnly, although the effect was completely ruined a moment later when a big, cheesy grin spread across his face. "Let me just get a box for Lion's dessert and pay."

Five minutes later, they stepped outside to discover Lion had vanished. "Oh for fu- Lion!" Steven called, turning in a slow circle. "Liiii-on! I'm gonna eat this delicious tiramisu! Mmm, it's soooo delicious!" He cracked open the box and looked around hopefully, but all he saw were people trying very hard not to look at him. "Ugh, stupid Lion," he grumbled and closed the lid again. "I don't know why I bother."

"I suppose we'll have to catch the bus." Peridot folded her arms and glared at the spot where Lion had been sitting before he'd abandoned them.

Steven looked down the street towards the bus stop and quickly turned away before the person standing there could spot him. "I'll call a cab," he said firmly, and steered her in the opposite direction. He had absolutely no desire to spend the journey back to Beach City in the company of Ronaldo and his mad theories.

Thankfully their ride arrived promptly and soon they were walking across the final stretch of sand towards the house. Inside, it was just as empty as they'd left it; the other gems had evidently not changed their minds and come home while they out.

"Well." Steven put the box down on the kitchen counter and turned around to face her. "Are- are you ready?" he stammered, suddenly swamped with nerves.

"Are you?" Peridot countered.

He laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I'm a little nervous," he admitted. "I've never- I have no idea- well, obviously I have _some_ idea-"

"Steven." She stepped forward and embraced him. "I love you," she said quietly, tilting her face up towards him. "And I want to do this with you. But it doesn't have to be right now. If you're not ready, if you'd rather we just go to your bed and sleep, that's fine too."

"No." His nerves vanished at once and he shook his head. "I'm ready. I wanna do this too." He leaned down and kissed her. "And I love you too," he finished shyly.

She smiled widely and stretched up to give him another kiss. "Then let's get a room."

xxx

A/N: I wrote this before I watched Escapism, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to ignore that weird thing with the rival Watermelon tribes. I mean, this _is_ set four years in the future, so just assume they worked it all out on their own.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The Temple doorway was the only thing standing between them and an evening of carnal bliss. Steven took a moment to compose himself, and then gave Peridot a small smile. "OK, I think I know what I wanna do with the place. Wait here, I'll be as quick as I can-"

"Oh, can't I watch? Please?" Peridot begged. "I've never properly observed the room when it's under instruction."

"Well..." Steven pursed his lips thoughtfully, and then nodded. "All right. Let me just quickly set up the safety commands, then you can come in."

Satisfied with that response, Peridot hopped up onto one of the bar stools and watched as Steven stood in front of the door. His gem glowed and the corresponding gem on the door lit up momentarily before the entire thing split in two to allow him access. He stepped inside and glanced around at the fluffy clouds for a moment before gathering his thoughts. It took a while. Most of them had joined the marching band that was currently having a small party in his brain. "Right," he muttered under his breath, and shook his head. "Concentrate, Steven." He straightened up and adopted a serious pose. "All right, room, same rules again. You are only to obey verbal commands. Understood? Clod."

The tiny whale popped into existence in front of him. "Understood," it said calmly.

He relaxed and grinned at it. "Cool. OK, so next, you're not to force Peridot to do anything she doesn't want to do, not under any circumstances ever. Clod. Understood? Clod."

"Understood," the whale said again.

"OK..." He took another look around and frowned. Had he forgotten something? He was sure it had taken longer to set up the rules the previous two times. Maybe it was just because he knew what he was doing now? Still, he couldn't shake the niggling feeling he'd forgotten something- "Aha!" He snapped his fingers and pointed at the whale again. "The other gems! They said they won't be back tonight, but just in case, don't let them in and don't let them hear anything we're doing. Clod. Understood? Clod."

"Understood," the whale said a third time.

"Excellent." He gave the whale a thumbs up and spun back around and opened the door. "OK, you can come in now."

Peridot slid ungainly off the stool and jogged over to join him. "So..." She looked curiously at the whale. "How does this work?"

"Well, I've told the room to only do what I say, so now I just, y'know, have to say it," he explained. "Do you want to...?" He waved at the expanse of cloud, but Peridot quickly shook her head.

"No, you go ahead. I'd like to see it first," she said.

"OK." He nodded and thought for a moment. "OK, room, we'd like a room with like, floor-to-ceiling windows on three sides, and a non-interactive backdrop of a mountain valley. Make it look like we're halfway up the mountain, overlooking an evergreen forest and a lake. You can take a peek at my thoughts to see what I mean, 'kay? Clod."

Immediately, the clouds parted and Peridot's mouth dropped open as all of a sudden, she found herself looking out of an enormous plate-glass window overlooking a tree-covered mountainside. She stepped forward and pressed her face against the glass to get a better look and sure enough, down at the bottom of the valley was a beautiful clear, calm lake, just as he'd specified. She turned her head slightly, and discovered that the windows did indeed wrap around three sides of the room. The fourth was rough granite, indicating that the room had literally been carved into the side of the mountain.

The actual contents of the room were fairly generic, having been pulled from Steven's memories of various hotel rooms he'd seen online back when he'd been planning to book a real one. Twin chairs stood in front of one of the side windows, a table set between them. On the other side of the room was a loveseat facing a wall-mounted TV, in case they got tired of looking at the view. But in pride of place, in the middle of the room and facing the main window, was a king-sized bed, covered in clean, white sheets.

"So... what do you think?" Steven asked hopefully. "Any suggestions?"

"Hmm?" Peridot tore her gaze away from the view and looked at him in surprise. "Oh, me?"

"Yeah, you!" he laughed. "It's for both of us, isn't it?"

"Well in that case..." She looked around the room again, and then back outside. "Could we possibly have a balcony and a hot tub?"

"Sure, great idea. Oooh!" His eyes widened with inspiration. "How about a heated infinity pool? With bubble jets? An infinity hot tub!"

"I have no idea what that is," she admitted. "But I trust your judgment."

"Well... if you hate it, we can always just delete it," he pointed out, making her laugh. "All right room, you heard the lady. And me. We'd like a balcony with a heated infinity hot tub. Clod."

At once, a platform appeared outside, wrapping around the three windows, filled with bubbling, steaming water that appeared to flow straight over the edge. "Oooh!" Peridot gasped with awe, and took a step forward before noticing a small flaw in the design. "How do we get out?"

"Ah, room!" He groaned and rubbed his forehead. "Can we get a set of doors so we can actually get out and use the tub? Clod."

A set of glass sliding doors obligingly materialized in the middle of the window and he nodded, satisfied. "Thank you, room. So..." He glanced at Peridot and grinned. "Wanna try it out?"

"Yes," she replied without hesitation. Then her eyes narrowed. "Although... I feel the experience would be enhanced if the weather conditions were different."

"Hmm." He looked outside at the perfect, blue sky with its perfect, cotton-candy clouds. "Yeah, I think I get what you mean, it's kinda too nice to sit in hot water. We need rain or snow, right?"

"Right," she agreed. "I personally believe snow would be the most atmospheric, unless you have any preference towards rain?"

"No, snow is great," he assured her, and raised his voice slightly. "Hey room? Can you make it snow outside please? Clod."

At once, the sky turned gray and fat snowflakes fell from the sky in swirling flurries.

"How's that?" he asked smugly.

"Perfect," Peridot said happily. She stared out of the window for a little longer, watching the snowflakes settle on the trees below, then raised her gaze up to the infinity hot tub again, where they were all melting in the steam. "Oh!" she suddenly exclaimed. "I have nothing to wear!"

"What a coincidence, I was planning on wearing the same thing," he joked.

"Oh, well in that case, let's be one of those obnoxious couples who wear matching outfits," she joked back.

Steven laughed and kicked off his shoes before quickly stripping off the rest of his clothes and sliding open the doors. Snowflakes drifted around him and settled on his skin, but although he broke out in goosebumps, he noticed he wasn't uncomfortably cold. Still, he slipped into the hot water as quickly as possible and relaxed with a happy sigh. He'd never thought of water as having a texture before, but somehow this water was luxuriously soft and the bubble jets were a gentle touch rather than the pummeling streams he'd encountered in hot tubs in the past. He floated on his back for a moment, looking up at the dark gray clouds, then leaned up slightly to see Peridot stood at the edge, dipping her toes in the water. "Come on in," he called over. "The water's lovely!"

Peridot pulled her foot out of the water and watched in fascination as the water droplets sparkled and vanished, shortly followed by the snowflakes that fell upon her exposed skin. True, her light-projected repelled such substances anyway, but not like this. Hearing Steven call her name, she stepped forward and slipped into the water, letting out a slight 'eep' of surprise when the water came up to her chin.

"You OK?" Steven asked, coming to her aid.

"It's a little deeper than I expected," she admitted.

"Yeah, the room seems to have done a kind of pool-hot tub hybrid. Come over here, there's a seat," he said, leading her towards the edge.

Peridot sank gratefully onto the raised ledge, where the water now reached just below her shoulders, and tilted her head back to look at the falling snow. The sky was quickly darkening and through a break in the clouds, she could see stars beginning to appear. Steven sat down next to her, then very unsubtly stretched and put his arm around her. She gave him a sidelong look, then laughed and snuggled closer to him. "This is perfect," she said with a happy sigh.

"Yeah, it's not bad," Steven said, trying not to sound too smug. "Needs some music." He paused, and then added, "clod."

At once, faint music drifted out of the open doors. Peridot smiled and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek. " _Now_ it's perfect."

"You're right." He looked around approvingly. "I can't think of any way to make this better."

"Hmm." Peridot smiled. "I can think of one."

"Yeah?" Steven waited for her to elaborate so he could command the room, but instead of answering, she climbed into his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Oh," he croaked once they'd parted for air. "Yeah. Yes. That uh, that was a definite improvement."

Peridot grinned and adjusted herself so that she was straddling his hips. "Then let's make some more improvements."

And so, for the next five minutes, many similar improvements were made and expanded upon; Peridot rocked her hips against him, her lips curving into a sly smile when she felt him respond beneath her. Steven retaliated by grabbing her butt and giving both cheeks a squeeze that made her gasp. "You OK?" he checked.

"Mmm." She blushed and ducked down to kiss his jaw. "I liked that," she admitted.

"Ah, good." He smiled and grabbed her butt again and pulled her closer. "I liked doing it."

Peridot groaned and bucked her hips against him again, trying to increase the friction between them, but it was proving difficult with all the water. "Shall we take this inside?" she suggested.

"Excellent idea, couldn't have said it better myself," he said, and kissed a spot on her shoulder before sweeping her up into his arms and standing up. "Hold on," he commanded, and waded through the water until he reached the other side. "Erm..." He looked around, and then down at her. "Hmm. Room, can I get a set of steps out of here please? Clod."

"You could've just put me down," Peridot commented, although she was secretly pleased he hadn't.

"I could've," he admitted. "But I didn't want to just yet."

She laughed and hugged him a little tighter as he stepped out of the water and back into the room. " _Now_ you can put me down," she said, nodding towards the bed.

"Yes, again, that is true." He leaned forward and kissed her. "But I still don't want to."

"You _are_ going to have to put me down eventually," she reminded him. "Unless you're planning on some impressive shapeshifting tricks."

"Oh gosh no." He shuddered and stuck out his tongue. "I don't want to even begin to think of all the horrible ways that could go wrong. Cats sprouting out of my body was bad enough."

Peridot snorted with laughter and nuzzled his neck. "I admit, I find the idea somewhat intriguing, but I would definitely prefer you to stay in your default form," she confessed.

"Then I suppose I'm going to have to put you down now." He opened his arms, intending to drop her on the bed, but her arms were still wrapped firmly around his neck and he fell on top of her with a yelp. "Ack! Sorry!"

Peridot giggled again, and then her expression turned serious. "I love you," she whispered, reaching up to brush his curls off his forehead.

A burst of warmth radiated through his body and he smiled softly back down at her. "I love you too," he whispered back, and leaned down and pressed his lips gently against hers. "You still OK?" he checked, pulling back slightly.

Peridot leaned forward and kissed him again, parting her lips and letting his tongue slide against hers. "I want this," she told him when they eventually parted, breathing heavily. "I want _you._ " And she pulled his head down and eagerly kissed him again.

Reassured, he let his hands skim her upper body, stroking her warm, soft skin, cupping her breasts and tweaking her nipples until they stood up in stiff little peaks, making her moan softly. His hands moved lower, his fingers tracing light swirls along the side of her torso, across her lower belly and upper thighs. Her legs parted, granting him access to her pussy, and he teased her for a few seconds by running his fingertips along the delicate folds until she whined and raised her hips towards him. "Steven... please..."

He cut off her complaints with another kiss, and pressed his fingers against her, finding her wet and wanting. He wanted her too, his erection was fast becoming an aching, urgent distraction, but he forced himself to hold back, to make sure she really was ready for him. First one, then two fingers slipped into her, slowly pumping in and out until her juices ran freely over his knuckles. Only then did he withdraw his fingers. "Are you ready?" he whispered, rolling over slightly so that he was positioned between her legs.

She nodded and gave him a tiny smile. "I'm ready," she whispered back. She reached down between them and told hold of his throbbing cock, letting the head slide between her lips until it was pressed against her entrance. And then he was inside her. There was a brief moment of burning discomfort; he was a little bigger than she'd anticipated, and she had to bite her lip to keep from making any noise because she knew if he thought he was hurting her, he'd stop, and if he stopped now, she'd _murder_ him. But the moment quickly passed, leaving her with a very pleasant fullness. He withdrew slightly, and then pushed into her a little deeper, then when he pulled back again, she thrust her hips to meet his, her mouth falling open as he slammed fully into her. "A-ah! More!"

Steven happily obliged. Her inner muscles were clenching all around him, drawing him back in every time he pulled out. He had honestly intended to try and take it slowly, but her gasps and moans of desire were too much to ignore and when he began to move faster, she moved with him, urging him on.

Then moved in unison for some minutes, then Peridot felt her orgasm building. "Don't stop," she begged wildly, grabbing at him and pulling him closer. "Don't stop, don't stop, oh please don't stop..."

He didn't stop. He was close as well, but somehow he forced himself to stick to the rhythm they'd set even as her own movements began to falter. Her hips bucked erratically, her words trailed off into incoherent whimpers and then her entire body stiffened. He felt the muscles in her pussy spasm all around him, and it was too much for him to bear. With a wordless cry of his own, he thrust into her several more times as he came, where he then collapsed on top of her in a breathless, sweaty heap. It was at least a minute before he regained his senses enough to realize he was probably squashing her. "Ah, sorry," he mumbled, and tried to roll away.

"Nooo, don't go yet," she whined, and wrapped her legs around him, then let out a small squeal of laughter as he rolled over anyway, pulling her with him until she released him and fell back onto the bed. "So..." she began, sitting up slightly and leaning hopefully over him. "We're definitely doing that again, yes?"

Steven stared at her for a moment and then smiled. "You liked that then?"

"Very much so," she said dreamily.

"Then yes, I'm sure we can do it again," he teased.

Peridot grinned widely and sat up straighter. "Now?"

"Ah." He laughed and shook his head reluctantly. "I'm gonna need a few minutes first. You wore me out."

"Hmph." She sighed and flopped back down onto the bed again. "Very well. I shall allow you a short period of time in which to recover then." She smirked slightly and ran her fingers around his gem. "I can't imagine it would take too long for a big, strong Quartz like you."

He laughed again and turned his face to give her a quick kiss. "I promise you, I'm going as fast as I can. I just-" He yawned and stretched his arms out, then pulled her closer. "Ten minutes," he promised.

"Ten minutes," Peridot repeated, and then yawned as well and snuggled up against him, enjoying his comforting warmth. Her eyes grew heavy, so she briefly closed them, just for a moment... and Steven watched with almost annoyed amusement as her breathing slowed and her body relaxed in his arms. He was almost tempted to shake her awake at once, but she looked so cute and peaceful, he couldn't bring himself to do so. He'd let her sleep a little longer, he decided. But right now, he was just going to enjoy holding her while they both had some much-needed rest.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

"But this is what you wanted."

The unfamiliar voice stirred Peridot from her slumber, although the words failed to register. She blinked sleepily in the bright light for a moment, then her eyes snapped open in confusion. She was facing Steven, who was snoring quietly, but the rest of the room had vanished, leaving them on the floor of a vast, white chamber. She slowly sat up, turned around and almost screamed. Looming over her was the enormous form of Blue Diamond, with Yellow Diamond close behind.

Instinctively, she threw her arms up to protect her gem, even though she knew it would be of little help when the killing blow landed.

"-for a colony-"

She hadn't noticed Blue Diamond was still talking instead of trying to shatter her, but when several more seconds passed without her form being destroyed, she dared lower her arms to see what was going on.

"-all you want is to be rid of it," Blue Diamond said, glaring down at her.

"...Huh?" Peridot looked around, but the only other person there was Steven, and he wasn't exactly in a position to contribute to the conversation. "Do you... mean me?" Was Blue Diamond talking about the Cluster? But the Cluster was Yellow Diamond's project, why was she just standing there with her back to them while Blue told her off?

"First there were too many organics, then their cities were too difficult to dismantle-"

Understanding dawned upon her and she swiveled back around to look at Steven again, still snoring away peacefully. This had to be another one of his Pink Diamond dreams, brought to life by the room. "Steven!" she hissed and gave him a shake.

"Ugh... one more minute," he mumbled, and snuggled up against her. "W'na see..."

" _Steven!_ " She shook him again, and when that had no effect, she reached out and pinched his arm.

"Ow! What-"

" _Shh_ ," she hissed, jerking her head towards the Diamonds, but despite the sudden flurry of activity, Blue continued talking down at them.

Steven' eyes widened in dismay. "Mmph-" He reached up and pushed her hand away from his mouth. "The Diamonds!"

"Yes, I had noticed them too," she said a little waspishly. "I assume you were in the midst of another Pink Diamond dream?"

"But..." He shook his head. "I'm awake now, they shouldn't be here." He slowly stood up and stepped in front of Peridot, just in case the two fake Diamonds suddenly became self-aware and attacked. Peridot quickly scrambled to her feet as well, and then phased on her jumpsuit. Even though neither of the Diamonds actually seemed to be aware of them, she didn't particularly want to be naked in front of them.

"As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed."

 _Blue Diamond was telling me off because I didn't want Earth any more because of the rebellion. And then someone- well, I guess it must have been Mom- came up behind me and stabbed me and shattered my gem."_

 _What if I had a dream where I died?_

Those two memories flicked through Peridot's mind in rapid succession. She didn't pause to look back and see if her suspicions were correct; she didn't pause to think at all. Instead, she grabbed Steven's waist and threw him aside as hard as she could. Taken entirely by surprise, he crashed heavily to the ground. "Oof!"

"Ah!"

He lay there for a moment, briefly stunned, then rolled over to ask what the hell she'd done that for, but as soon as he saw her, the words died on his lips and all he could do was stare at the scene before him in disbelief. "No," he whispered. It wasn't real. He was still asleep, he was still dreaming and Pearl had not really stabbed his mother's sword through the middle of Peridot's chest. "No! NO!"

Peridot looked down at the blade and tentatively reached up to touch it. The wound hurt less than she'd expected, but she could already tell it was a fatal blow. Of course it was, it was intended to destroy a Diamond, after all. Thankfully her gem was in an entirely different location. She'd be fine. In fact, she almost welcomed the opportunity to redesign her form. She'd definitely omit the skeleton, for a start. Really, the only downside to this was that Steven had to witness it. She opened her mouth to assure him that everything would be fine, but her stupid simulated human lungs were filling up with blood (and she made an immediate mental note to get rid of _those_ when she came back), making it almost impossible to get the words out. Still, she tried. "L-love you," she choked out through blood-spattered lips, and gave him a thumbs up.

"NO! Make it stop, make it stop!" Steven screamed hysterically.

Abruptly, the scene changed. The white chamber vanished. Pearl vanished. The sword vanished. And with nothing to plug the wound, blood sprayed out of Peridot's chest for a moment before her body finally succumbed to the trauma and poofed. He lunged forward to catch her gem, missed, and clawed frantically at the pink clouds (maybe it had vanished too, maybe it wasn't really her, maybe he'd been alone here all along) until he found it. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?" he screamed, looking wildly around the room for something to focus his rage and misery upon.

Maddeningly enough, the room failed to oblige. No tiny whale appeared to talk to him, probably because the room knew perfectly well he'd just try to throttle it at once. Instead, a disembodied voice spoke. "Only what you requested, Steven."

"What!?" He staggered to his feet, holding Peridot's gem protectively against his chest. "When did I ever ask for _this_!?"

"You wished to see," the room replied calmly.

"What?" he asked again, shaking his head in miserable confusion. "I never- _when!?_ "

"Just before you woke up," the room reminded him. "You wished to see one minute more."

"Wh-what are you talking about?" He shook his head. "I don't- I was _asleep!_ " A thought suddenly occurred to him. "And I didn't give you the keyword!"

For a moment, the room was silent, then the voice spoke softly. "You never stated that your wishes required a keyword."

An icy chill washed over him. All of a sudden, he could remember himself, standing in the room, _knowing_ he'd forgotten something, but in too much of a rush to really think about it. How could he have been so _stupid?_ But still... "Why did you let her do it? You must have know I never wanted her to get hurt!"

"You ordered that she not be forced to do anything she didn't want to do. Not under any circumstances ever," the room said. "I was unable to override that command."

He looked down at the smooth, green gemstone in his hands and his eyes filled up with tears. "You sh-should've done it anyway."

"She wanted to save you," the room said patiently. "She knew where the blow would land-"

"Shut up," Steven spat. "I hate you." He turned around and fled through the door that opened obligingly for him, just as he wanted, but it was far too little, far too late, and he knew he'd never be able to trust the room enough to ever return again.

xxx

Peridot's gem glowed and rose into the air. For a moment it hung there, then cycled rapidly between her few previous forms before settling upon the new outline she'd chosen. There was a flash of light, and she landed gracefully on the floor and opened her eyes. There was a split-second in which she noticed she appeared to be in her own room rather than the white chamber, and then she was in Steven's arms and her face was being covered in kisses. And also snot and tears, but she tried not to mind that too much.

"You're back!" he choked out in between kisses. "You're back, oh I missed you so much!"

"I'm sorry I took so long," she apologized, although to tell the truth, she hadn't the faintest idea how long it had been. "I tried to be as quick as possible, but I had to make a few important changes. For instance, I have decided a skeleton is unnecessary. And the cardiovascular system. It just makes such a mess when it's punctured!"

Steven let out a noisy sob and she cringed. Perhaps that hadn't been the most tactful thing to say. "I did keep some of the digestive system though," she began to ramble. "So I can continue to share meals with you, because that is something I do genuinely enjoy. And- and some of the more, ah, recreational bits. I had quite a lot of fun using them. With you."

That didn't seem to cheer him up either. She'd rather hoped that having witnessed gems being poofed in the past (herself included) only to reform unharmed had desensitized him a little, but then, she supposed it had happened during an emotionally charged moment, and Steven had always been more emotional than logical.

She sighed and hugged him a little tighter. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to upset you. I had hoped there would be enough time for me to evade the attack as well, but knowing where the blow would land, my immediate priority was getting you out of range. That attack was designed to shatter your gem, but I knew the worst it would do to me is simply destroy my form."

"Oh." Steven half-laughed, half-sobbed. How was he supposed to explain that his gem would've been fine after all? "You- you _clod_! That was _stupid,_ you- you shouldn't have done that, I would've-" He gulped and kissed her hair again. "Promise me you'll _never_ do anything like that again, promise me!"

"Erm." Peridot discreetly crossed her fingers, because there was absolutely no way she was going to comply with that request. "I promise. So how long was I gone for?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

Steven released her and blew his nose into a rather raggedy tissue before replying. "Just over a day."

"Ah, are the other gems back then? Do they know what happened?" She glanced over at the door as she spoke, suddenly very glad she'd installed a lock.

"I um, gave them a pretty vague outline," he said. "Your new outfit's nice, by the way."

"Oh, thanks." Peridot glanced down at the new cropped shirt and shorts with leggings underneath that she'd chosen for her new form. "I was extremely tempted to make it a big, flouncy princess dress, but that sort of outfit for my default form would've been highly impractical, not to mention inappropriate for most day-to-day activities," she admitted. "So did you mention the Diamond dream?"

"A princesses dress would've been pretty cool though," Steven said, ignoring her question. "We could go and buy you one, if you like. As a 'welcome back' present."

"Hmm..." Peridot considered that suggestion for a moment and then reluctantly shook her head. "The problem remains, when is there ever going to be an occasion in which a princess dress would be appropriate?"

"I can think of one," he said, and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

However, the effect was somewhat diminished by his red-rimmed puffy eyes and runny nose, and Peridot frowned, suddenly suspicious. "Did you discuss the Diamond dreams with the other gems?" she asked again.

Steven immediately looked away and began twiddling his fingers. "Um... yeah, kind of," he muttered. "It came up in passing."

Peridot waited for him to elaborate. He didn't. "...And?" she finally prompted. "Did they have any suggestions as to what could be the source?"

"Um." He bit his lip and closed his eyes. Where to even start? He'd spent the last day agonizing over how to break the news to her, and he still hadn't figured out how to do it, mostly because he simply couldn't imagine an outcome that didn't end horribly.

 _Well it turns out, I was right when I said it was Mom's memories. Even the one where Pink Diamond was whining for her own colony. How? Now_ that's _a funny story._

 _So you know how you were sent here to check on the Cluster and the prototypes to try and figure out how to make functional gems out of era 1 gem shards? Do you think the ultimate goal was for you to fix Pink Diamond's shards? Well, you'll never believe this, but-_

 _What's the difference between my mom and Pink Diamond? Literally nothing! Ha ha ha!_

What he wouldn't give for one of Garnet's future vision forehead kisses right then.

What he wouldn't give for _Garnet_ right then-

"Steven? What's wrong?" Peridot asked in alarm as his eyes welled up again.

"It's- I can't- Mom-" He covered his face in his hands and shook his head helplessly. He couldn't tell her. He _had_ to tell her. The secret was out now, the other gems knew. If he didn't tell her, one of them would and it would sound even worse coming from them. He took a deep breath and tried again. "We... we figured it out, why I was dreaming about Pink Diamond," he said slowly, forcing himself to keep eye contact. "It's because Pink Diamond... was my mom."


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

For several seconds, Peridot didn't react. Then she tilted her head sideways slightly and and rubbed her ear. "I'm sorry, I must have made an error during my reformation, I thought you just said-"

"Pink Diamond was my mom," Steven repeated quietly.

"Right. Not an error then." She frowned and shook her head. "But... I don't understand, I though Rose Quartz was your mom?"

"Ah. Yes, she is." Steven let out a short, humorless laugh and nodded. "Yeah, it turns out Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond all along. They're the same person. Same gem."

"What?" Peridot said blankly. She was hearing the words, but none of them made any sense. She was almost inclined to think he was lying to her, except that actually made even less sense. But Rose Quartz couldn't be Pink Diamond, it wasn't possible! "But- that means-" Her gaze fell upon his belly. The round, pink gem was hidden behind another one of his usual pale red starry t-shirts, but she could still picture it perfectly in her mind. "No, that's- I'm a certified kindergarten technician, I'd _know_ ," she stammered... but even as she spoke, doubts started creeping in.

After all, it wasn't as if she'd ever had the opportunity to examine any other Diamond or Rose Quartz gems. The only time she'd ever really been face-to-face with Yellow Diamond had been when she'd contacted her on the Diamond line, and she hadn't exactly been paying much attention to her gem. As for Rose Quartzes... they weren't made in the Homeworld kindergartens. They weren't made anywhere across the empire. Until she met Steven, she hadn't even known they existed. The only other known Rose Quartzes in existence were all bubbled and contained at the zoo, and she'd never seen them herself. But still... "The- the shape's all wrong," she blustered. "The resemblance..."

Steven grimaced and looked down at himself in distaste. "Apparently, it's rotated," he said flatly. "The pointy bit's jammed inside me. The bit we can see, that's the top." He shook his head. "I can't tell if it was just a coincidence that it _happened_ to look exactly like a Rose Quartz gem from that angle, or if she deliberately designed _them_ to look like the top of her gem." One of his hands brushed the fabric of his shirt and then recoiled. "Good thing they didn't x-ray me in hospital or anything, huh? That would've been an awkward way to find out."

Peridot opened her mouth and then shut it again. Her head was full of questions, and they'd all got jammed trying to come out at once. "Wha- how did-" She shook her head and tried again. "Explain, please. From the beginning. How _did_ you find out?"

"It's a long story," Steven said with a loaded sigh, and he sat down heavily on the sofa.

Peridot shrugged and sat down next to him. "I'm in no rush," she said quietly, and reached for his hand. He glanced down at their entwined fingers for a moment and then gave her a wan smile.

"OK... so I'm guessing when you pushed me out of the way, it was 'cause you remembered me saying I'd been stabbed from behind and my gem got shattered, right?" he began.

Peridot nodded. "You said you didn't see them, but you assumed it was your mother. Am I correct in saying that wasn't the case?" She was pretty sure she could already guess the identity of her unseen assassin though. Rose Quartz would've needed an accomplice to carry out her deception, and she could only think of one person unwaveringly devoted enough to go along with such an insane plan.

Sure enough, Steven confirmed her suspicions a second later. "It was Pearl," he said with a shiver. "I didn't understand why though, 'cause everyone _swore_ my mom had done it. I mean, there were witnesses! It happened like, in front of her whole court! And nobody said anything about Pearl- hell, when I was on trial, my Zircon lawyer even asked where Pink's Pearl was. So when they all got back from Mask Island, I asked her if she had anything to do with Pink Diamond being shattered. But..."

He frowned and Peridot looked quizzically up at him. She was dying to know how he'd found out the truth; she couldn't imagine that Pearl would simply confess after keeping a secret like that for so long, but she didn't want to rush him, so she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and forced herself to remain patient.

"It was weird," he said finally. "It was like she _wanted_ to tell me, but she just kept covering her mouth up with her hands until Garnet and Amethyst showed up, then they started asking about you and I had to try and explain what had happened. I came in here in the end, just to get away from them... and then I got a text message from her saying she wanted to talk but she couldn't."

"A text- Pearl has a cell phone?" Peridot blurted out in surprise, and then screwed up her nose, annoyed with herself for getting distracted by such a silly detail, but Steven smiled slightly.

"She brought one a couple of years ago," he explained, leaning against her for a moment. "But she never really used it. To be honest, I'd forgotten she even had it too." And then he went on to explain how Pearl had sent him in search of her missing phone, and what he'd witnessed inside her head. "-And then she gave me the phone, shapeshifted into Rose, and stabbed Pink Diamond with the sword. The fake gem fragments she'd swallowed made it look like her gem had been shattered, but really, Pearl just had it hidden behind her back," he finished.

He paused and then opened his mouth to tell her what had happened after that, but Peridot had assumed his silence meant he was done speaking, and cut in with a question of her own that had been bothering her for the last few minutes. "Wait, so when you said Pearl said she couldn't talk, she meant it _literally_?" she asked, her eyes wide with horror.

"Uh, yeah. Guess that final order was like an Unbreakable Vow or something," Steven said, looking slightly revolted. "Even after Mom was gone, she couldn't just tell me. And I remember she _tried_ , back when I came home after being on trial, she really tried, but I didn't notice, 'cause Connie wasn't speaking to me and I was being a shit about it."

But could _Rose_ have told anyone, Peridot wondered. A sudden rush of pity washed over her, she'd assumed at first that Pearl had kept her secret of her own free will, out of loyalty and love. Maybe she'd even felt proud at being trusted with something so huge. But being _forced_ to keep silent, even though it could've stopped Steven making his stupid self-sacrifice a few years ago...

Well, it certainly explained a lot about Pearl.

"Yeah," Steven said softly, making her jump. She hadn't realized she said that aloud. "No wonder she freaked out about Lion. She spent thousands of years keeping Mom's true identity secret from her closest friends, and then Mom didn't even bother to tell her about her secret lion." He nibbled at his lip, pulling at a bit of loose skin there, trying to work up the nerve to say what had been on his mind all night. "It made me think... maybe..." He gulped and tried again. "There- there was a pretty big power imbalance between them, what with Mom being Pink Diamond and like, literally owning her and giving her orders she couldn't ever break even after she was gone, and I- I don't want us-" His voice cracked slightly, but he forced himself to keep talking. "I don't want you and me to be like them-"

Peridot stared at him, suddenly numb with fear, each word a punch to the gut. "You want us to-" She paused and licked her icy lips. "To-" She shook her head. She couldn't bring herself to say it. If he was going to do this to her, he was going to have to say the words himself.

"I don't want to break up with you," he whispered, looking down again at their entwined fingers so she couldn't see the tears in his eyes again. "I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. But I... I thought maybe _you_ might want to break up with _me._ Because..." He steeled himself and then forced himself to look her in the eyes, which hurt a lot because they were wide and shiny with tears of her own. "If I ever gave you an order and forced you to be with me, believe me, it was completely unintentional, and- and I'm setting you free."

He waited for her face to twist with loathing and disgust as whatever fake feelings he'd inadvertently forced upon her suddenly vanished, for her to snatch her hands out of his and slap him... what he didn't expect was for her to stare at him for several seconds longer and then start laughing.

"You- you stupid- you absolute CLOD!" She did snatch her hand back, but then she flung her arms around him, taking him entirely by surprise and knocking him back among the sofa cushions. "You big, stupid, cloddy clod!"

"Uh..." He looked down at her, then at his reflection in the darkened TV screen. Yep, that Steven looked just as baffled as he was. "What?"

Peridot let out a snorty, snuffly laugh and then sat up and wiped her eyes. "Steven, I disobeyed a direct order from my diamond, Yellow Diamond, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Besides," she added, holding up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest, "it sounds as though this power is one that has to be used consciously, there's no way you could've forced any of us to obey you by _accident."_

It was something he'd desperately wanted to hear, but he still couldn't quite bring himself to believe it just yet. "So... so you still love me?" he checked.

"Yes, I still love you," she said firmly. "And I have done so long before you ever said you loved me."

"Even though I'm kinda sorta technically Pink Diamond?" he double-checked.

That was something Peridot hadn't actually really thought about, and she immediately decided she'd do that later, after she'd reassured Steven it didn't matter. Which was probably a backwards way of doing things, but he'd obviously been obsessing about this while she was gone and she didn't want to make things worse right now. "I don't care if your gem is a Rose Quartz, a Diamond, or- or Talc! I love _you_ , Steven Universe," she said, gazing up at him as she spoke, hoping he could see how deeply she meant it. "This doesn't change who you are."

Steven bit his lip. He wanted to believe her so badly, but... "You got poofed trying to save me," he reminded her. "I don't want our relationship to be like that-"

" _You_ deliberately entered my corrupted mindscape," Peridot shot back at once. "Twice, might I remind you. Look, Steven," she continued in a softer tone. "I didn't throw myself in front of that sword because I thought you were more important than me or anything like that. I did it because I realized that if the scenario continued in the same way as your dream, you would be struck from behind, and we both thought that would result in your gem being shattered. True, we were wrong about that," she admitted, "but it was still a blow that destroyed Pink Diamond's form, and I feel fairly confident that even if it _hadn't_ shattered your gem, it would've caused a great deal of internal damage to your human body. But it's damage _my_ form can easily recover from," she said, briefly touching the place on her torso where the blade had struck. "And now I'm better than ever," she added a little smugly, before quickly turning serious again. "We're not like them at all. I mean, look at us right now!" she added, gesturing towards him. "The first thing you did when you found out was tell me I didn't have to follow any of your orders! And the first thing I did-"

She stopped abruptly and tried to think of something else to say, but it was too late. "What did you do?" Steven asked warily.

"I... crossed my fingers behind my back so I wouldn't have to keep that promise," she admitted sheepishly. "I mean, I will try not to get myself poofed again, I can promise you _that,_ but if I have good reason to believe you're about to be killed and I know I can prevent that from happening, I'm going to try and save you, and I refuse to promise not to do that."

Steven shook his head in exasperation, but he couldn't help smiling at the obstinate look on her face. "All right, I guess that's fair enough," he conceded. "I can't really ask you not to do something I'd totally do myself."

Peridot smiled and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "So... we're good?" she checked.

"Yeah." He sighed and hugged her, and decided it was time to tell her about the other thing that had happened in her absence. "But Garnet isn't. Ruby and Sapphire split up."

" _WHAT!?"_ Peridot screeched, sitting bolt upright. "How!? What!? How!?"

"It was my fault," Steven said gloomily. "I came out of Pearl's gem and just said 'Mom was Pink Diamond' and I didn't realize Garnet was behind me. And then when I had to explain it, she split up. Sapphire was _furious._ She said Mom told them never to question themselves as Garnet and now their whole relationship was based on a lie and then she ran away-"

"W-wait a second!" Peridot blurted out, waving her hands in panic. Steven fell silent and waited while she closed her eyes and quickly tried to process that information. Somehow, the news that Garnet had split up was far more shocking to her than the discovery of Rose Quartz's true identity. Probably because she actually knew Garnet, she decided. "Sorry, I just... wow."

"Yeah, that about sums _that_ up," he sighed.

Peridot nodded slowly, rerunning his words through her head again now the initial shock had worn off enough for her to pay attention. "You know that's not _really_ your fault though, right?" she checked.

Steven opened his mouth and then hesitated. "Well... it's _kinda_ my fault for telling them about Mom."

"Would you have _not_ told them?" Peridot asked seriously. "Would you have lied to Garnet as well?"

"...Welllllll... no," he admitted. "I guess not. But still, maybe I could've done it in a better way, I don't know-"

"Exactly!" Peridot cut in, making him jump. "You _don't_ know! But what you _do_ know, is that Garnet was lied to for thousands of years and you couldn't have kept that a secret from her once you knew. Do you _really_ think there's any way you could've told her without her being hurt?"

"Um... I could've..." He bit his lip and then shook his head. "No, you're right. It was always gonna suck, one way or another." Weirdly, it was actually a relief to admit that out loud.

"So... what happened then?" Peridot prompted when he stayed silent. "Did you find Sapphire?"

"Hmm? Oh! Yes, she was at Mom's fountain." Steven frowned slightly as he remembered. "And then when we found her, Pearl told us how Mom first became Rose Quartz." His frown deepened. "She... was bored. She threw a tantrum to get this colony and then it was boring hard work. So she shapeshifted into Rose Quartz for a day so she could leave the moonbase and go down to Earth and have fun without being caught. Then Pearl told us this story about how her and Mom explored Earth and saw flowers and butterflies and humans, and that's when Mom realized her colony was gonna destroy all that, and so she asked the other Diamonds to stop, only they ignored her, so she stood up to them as Rose instead, to try and scare them off. Then when she saw Garnet for the first time, she decided she wanted to fight for Gems."

He paused and glanced towards the door. "Sapphire seemed to buy it. And... and I _wanted_ to, a couple of years ago, I probably would've, but all I could think about was the Cluster. All those gems, shattered fighting in her war. And it was a war against _herself!_ I just don't get it, why didn't she just tell them the truth? She could've doubled her army and shown the other Diamonds she was really serious!"

Peridot shrugged helplessly. It didn't make sense to her either and she wasn't in the mood to think about it right at that moment. It was too much and she knew there was still more to come. "You said Sapphire brought it?" she said, quickly getting back to the subject at hand.

"Yeah." He groaned and exhaled loudly. "But it was too late. We all came back and she wanted to apologize to Ruby, but Ruby'd run away and left a note saying she needed to think. Amethyst went looking for her, Pearl and Sapphire went in the Temple to cry it out, and I came in here to see how you were doing."

Peridot narrowed her eyes. "How long ago was that?"

"Ummmm..."

She snatched up her tablet and her eyes widened. "Steven, it's three am! Have you been in here all day!?"

"Ummmmmm..."

"You need to sleep! You need to eat! You need to-" Her mouth dropped open in dismay. "Tell me you did not pee out of my window!"

"I didn't pee out the window!" he hastily assured her. "I waited until the coast was clear and snuck to the bathroom. I grabbed some chips on the way back here too. And I _tried_ to take a nap, but uh, it was kinda difficult 'cause every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing you getting stabbed to death, so I just lay there for a couple of hours and fantasized about going back to the Sea Shrine and finding an hourglass that would undo all this, only then I realized if I did that, I'd be just as bad as Mom. That's when I started just moping." Then his expression brightened. "But now you're back, we can-"

"Go to sleep," Peridot finished bluntly.

"I was actually gonna say we should go check on Sapphire and see if there's any news about Ruby," he suggested, but Peridot was already shaking her head.

"Pearl can look after Sapphire," she said sternly, privately thinking it was the least the other gem could do after all this. "And you already said Amethyst's looking for Ruby, so if there's any news, she'll let us know. But you won't be of any use to anyone if you don't get some rest."

"I _am_ pretty tired," he admitted, and then yawned widely. Now Peridot was back and some of his more pressing concerns had been addressed, the horrible crushing fear and shock was beginning to abate, leaving him drained. Still... "Can- can I stay in here though?" he asked timidly. "Please?"

"Of course!" Peridot said at once, and gestured towards the hammock. "Make yourself comfortable!"

"A-actually, I was kinda hoping you'd stay with me. If that's OK," he quickly added. "Only if you want to."

"Oh." Peridot looked at the hammock again and tried to figure out how that was supposed to work. "It's not really meant for two people though."

"Well... how about we sleep on the sofa instead then?" he suggested.

"Ah! Of course!" She laughed and then waited for him to lay down so she could snuggle up to him. She closed her eyes, but she didn't allow herself to fall asleep; there was far too much to think about for _that_. Instead, she waited silently until she heard Steven's breathing slow down and felt him fall still, then she very carefully untangled herself from his arms and crept across the room and out of the door.

xxx

A/N:I'm afraid next week's chapter may be delayed, I seem to have caught a cold and my chest hurts from coughing all the damn time. Sorry.


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The beach house was empty. Peridot wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing or not. On the one hand, she did rather want to talk to Pearl. On the other hand, she hadn't the faintest idea what she actually wanted to talk about. She looked apprehensively towards the temple door, but it stayed resolutely closed, so she walked across the room and up the steps that led to Steven's room, where she planned to lay on his bed and try and make sense of everything he'd just told her, a task she suspected would be much easier now he wasn't wrapped around her. Not that it would be _easy,_ of course, just easi _er._

However, as soon as she spotted the tiny, blinking light beside the bed and realized Steven had left his phone on charge, she pounced. Not because she wanted a distraction, she lied to herself, she just wanted to see if he'd missed any messages from Amethyst. And sure enough, when she peeked at the notifications, she could see there were several messages and missed calls from the other gem.

Then it occurred to her that what she was doing could be classed as 'snooping'. She hesitated for a moment, and then shrugged. "I've come this far," she muttered to herself. She'd confess when he woke up. Besides, Amethyst might have something important to say. And so, with that thought, she opened the most recent messages.

 _Hey steven! Good news, I found rubes hanging out with your dad. maybe-bad news? she's decided she wants to be herself for a while. Hope youre ok, call me if you need to talk._

 _Hey steven! How are you? Hows peridot? Weird news, ruby has decided she wants to be a cowboy. Im gonna tag along and see how this goes, but call me if you need to tlk_

 _Hey steven! Hope you're doing ok, im gonna assume you're not picking up cos you're having a happy reunion with peridot lol. Not gonna be able to talk for a while now tho cos im rubys horse but if you text me i'll call back asap_

As she read the last message, the phone suddenly buzzed in her hands, and she dropped it with a squeak of fright. It landed face-up on the bed, and she belated realized it was simply an incoming call from Amethyst. Without thinking, she reached out, picked the phone back up and hit the button to accept the call.

"Ah, finally!" Amethyst's voice sounded abnormally loud in the deserted house. "Where have you been, dude, I've been trying to call-"

"It's me," Peridot interrupted before Amethyst could get into full flow. "Peridot," she added, just in case Amethyst had trouble working out who 'me' was.

"Peridot!" Amethyst screeched, making her wince. "When did you get back!? Ah!" A knowing note crept into her voice. "Is _that_ why Steven hasn't been answering-"

"No," Peridot quickly cut in. "I only reformed a short time ago."

"Oh." Her voice suddenly turned wary. "Soooo... have you um, heard the big news then?"

"That Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond all along? And faked her own shattering? And this revelation caused Garnet to doubt her entire existence and split into her component parts?" Peridot said dryly. "Yes, I heard. Unless there's some other 'big news' Steven neglected to tell me about."

"Nope, that's about it. Phew. Glad I didn't have to be the one to break that to ya." Amethyst exhaled loudly down the line. "But yeah, it's pretty wild, huh? Can you just imagine if the other Diamonds found out Steven was rocking her gem now? They'd spontaneously combust on the spot!"

"Wouldn't that be convenient," Peridot murmured. "However, I don't have any immediate plans to share this news with them and test that hypothesis."

"Probably for the best," Amethyst agreed. "Especially as the two of you are a thing. I mean, Blue tried to have Ruby shattered just for accidentally fusing with Sapphire, if she found out _you_ were boning her baby sister-daughter, she'd turn you into dust!"

Peridot blinked and pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it suspiciously for a moment before replacing it. "Excuse me?"

"Yellow would do her nut too," Amethyst carried on, sounding almost cheerful. "She tried to blow you up just for calling her a clod, if she found about _this..._! Man, I kinda _want_ her to find out, just so I can see her face!" And she started to laugh.

With great effort, Peridot resisted the urge to throw the phone on the floor and stamp on it, only because she remembered at the last second that it wasn't her phone. "Why are you being like this?" she asked in exasperation, not really expecting an answer.

To her surprise, Amethyst stopped laughing at once. "Sorry. I guess I'm kinda freaking out a little here. I keep thinking, what would've happened to me if I'd emerged with the rest of the Fam' when I was supposed to, y'know? They all had to fight in her dumb war, and none of them joined Rose's side and I just figured it was 'cause they never crossed paths. They're all good gems, of _course_ they'd have signed up to save Earth if they had the chance, right? But she was Pink Diamond! She was in charge of them, she was in charge of _all_ of them! She could've just _talked_ to her subjects and told them she was rebelling and given them a choice, and she probably would've wound up with an army big enough to _really_ take on the other Diamonds, but she lied to them all and made them fight each other instead! It's not _fair!"_ she ranted.

"Um..." Peridot racked her brains for something to say in response, but Amethyst had already started up again.

"Still, I guess it's a good thing they didn't switch sides. I mean, the zoo sucks ass- well, a little less ass since we kicked Holly Blue's, but at least they're alive. If they'd joined us, they'd have been lucky to just be corrupted instead of being shattered to become part of the Cluster." She sighed heavily into Peridot's ear. "We were supposed to be the good guys, Rose was supposed to be the great rebel leader, she was our John Conner, y'know? She was supposed to make everything better. I thought she was so great. And now I don't know _what_ to think."

"Mmm," Peridot said vaguely. She suspected Amethyst just wanted someone to rant at rather than an actual conversation, and if she were entirely honest, she was far too out of her depth to actually contribute anything worthwhile anyway.

So she was taken aback when Amethyst then said, "I guess you kinda get it, huh?"

"H-huh?" she stammered.

"With Yellow Diamond!, remember!?" Amethyst exclaimed. "You thought she was amazing and flawless and then she turned out to be a complete sack of cocks."

Peridot let out a cackle of laughter and then clapped a hand over her mouth as the sound echoed loudly through the silent house. "Amethyst!" she hissed.

"What? Am I wrong?" Peridot could almost hear her grinning on the other end of the line before she sobered up again. "How do you deal with it, 'Dot? One minute everything makes sense, then you find out your idol is a big fake and your whole life is a lie?"

"Honestly?" Peridot cast her mind back to that day. "Badly. Curling up in a ball for a few hours and pretending I was dead did help for a little while though."

"Pretend to be dead. Hmm. Seeing as that's kinda what got us into this in the first place, I think I'll skip it," Amethyst said dryly. "Not sure that'd cut it anyway," she said, before Peridot could apologize for her poor choice of words. "Yellow Diamond was an asshole, I'll give you that, but at least she was _just_ an asshole. This would be more like if she pretended to die of shock and then turned out to be Steven in disguise, but at least you don't have to worry about him turning out to be Yellow Diamond, seeing as he's already Pink Diamond-"

"Don't call him that," Peridot said sharply. "He's _not."_

There was a brief moment of silence and then Amethyst spoke again. "You're right, sorry. I shouldn't've said that. Don't tell him I said that, please?" she added pleadingly. "He'd be really hurt and I honestly didn't mean it."

"I won't tell him," Peridot promised.

"Thanks." She sighed again. "It was bad enough when people kept thinking he was Rose, it'll be a million times worse if the Diamonds ever find out about this. Fuckin' Rose," she grumbled under her breath. "This sucks! She didn't even have the guts to come clean before she left us all behind, and now Steven's stuck clearing up her crap. Again."

"Mmm," Peridot said again. Privately she thought perhaps Rose had the right idea not telling them before she left, if only because it had kept her son from being left with that hanging over him as an infant rather than as a young adult.

"How _is_ Steven anyway?" Amethyst asked, changing the subject. "I did try and get him to come along on the Ruby hunt, but he didn't wanna leave you."

"He was pretty upset," Peridot said, glancing over in the direction of her room. "But we talked a lot and figured some stuff out," she said without bothering to go into any detail. "He's sleeping now."

"That's good, I was getting kinda worried about him. He looked pretty wiped out last I saw him."

Peridot nodded absently, forgetting that Amethyst couldn't see her. "He hasn't been sleeping very well recently," she confided. "He was having dreams about Pink Diamond. I suppose now we know why-"

"You knew about that!? And you didn't tell us!?" Amethyst shrieked in her ear. Peridot winced and moved the phone away from her head.

"I only found out myself last- the night before we moved the Cluster," she said defensively. "And we agreed that Steven would discuss it with you after it had been dealt with. And as I recall, there wasn't much opportunity for him to do so that day."

Amethyst growled with frustration. She hated to admit it, but Peridot had a point there. "Ugh, fine. I'll let you off then."

Silence fell between them for several seconds until Peridot finally remembered why she'd been looking at Steven's phone in the first place. "And how is Ruby doing?" she asked politely.

"Honestly? I'm not sure," Amethyst admitted quietly. "She keeps talking about how great it is not knowing what's coming and how she's finally on her own and not needing anyone..." She trailed off, remember the years she'd spent on her own in the Kindergarten. "I mean, I guess she's not really _alone_ alone, if you get what I mean, but still, I don't know if this switch straight from five thousand years of permafusion to Lonesome Lasso is really any healthier, y'know?"

"So..." Peridot said cautiously, "when do you think she'll be ready to come back?"

"I dunno. I miss Garnet, but if Ruby and Sapphire were really together 'cause Rose told them to be, we can't rush them. All I can really do is be here for Ruby when she figures out what she wants." She lowered her voice. "How's Sapphire? She was pretty upset when I left. Pearl too."

"I don't know, I haven't seen them yet," she admitted.

"Really? Are they _still_ crying in the Temple?" Amethyst asked.

"I don't know," Peridot said again in exasperation. "As I said, I only reformed a short time ago. I'd only just left my room when you called."

"Ah hell," Amethyst groaned. "And then I went and dumped all my issues on you."

"It's OK," Peridot lied.

"It's just, I know I just went on about what would've happened if I'd emerged during the war, but I _didn't._ So I can't really talk to Garnet- well, obviously, but I can't talk to Ruby or Sapphire about it, 'cause they _did_ have to fight in Rose's stupid war. And I can't talk to Pearl about it even though she lied too, 'cause she was forced to and she couldn't get out of it, and I _definitely_ can't say anything to Steven! He blamed himself for all Rose's junk before and wound up handing himself in to Homeworld, I don't wanna set him back again, it's not his problem!"

"That's very mature of you," Peridot commented in surprise.

"Ew. How dare you." Amethyst laughed. "But seriously, thanks for letting me rant at you."

"It's OK-" Peridot began to say again, and then paused as a thought occurred to her. Who was _she_ supposed to rant to then? And then another thought occurred to her. "Is Lapis aware of the situation?"

"...Ummmmmm... oh, excuse me, I think I hear Ruby-"

"Amethyst, tell me you didn't leave this to me as well!" Peridot hissed.

"No! Well, sort of. It's complicated," she argued. "We've all been so busy, I don't think it occurred to anyone. And anyway, it's not really the sorta conversation to have over Facetime, right?"

"I'm not talking to her," Peridot said flatly.

"Aww, come on, Peri! It'd be better coming from you, she likes you- well, she hates you less than us," Amethyst corrected.

"No, I mean we're not on speaking terms right now," Peridot clarified. "Not until she apologizes to me."

"Oh?" Amethyst asked curiously. "Why, what did she do?"

Peridot hesitated. Amethyst still made jokes about her corruption scars despite being asked several times not to, perhaps she might not be the most sympathetic audience in this case. "It's personal," she said vaguely instead.

"Well, get over it," Amethyst said hardheartedly. "This is more important."

Peridot scowled and pulled the phone away from her ear again, considering her options. Primarily, how annoyed would Steven be if she really did throw the phone on the floor and stamp on it. Annoyed enough that she didn't want to risk it, she decided. "I'm not doing it," she said instead. "She freaked out badly enough when Steven turned himself in and she thought the Diamonds were coming, what's she going to do when she finds out he has one of their gems!?"

"You'll be fine," Amethyst wheedled. "You talked her round last time."

"No I didn't!" Peridot snapped. "She was _this_ close to taking off with the whole barn, the only reason she stopped was because Pumpkin went missing for two days! And now I don't have a barn and I don't have P-Pumpkin..." She paused and took a deep breath to compose herself. Pumpkin had lived a lot longer than a regular vegetable, but in the end, she was still a vegetable.

It still hurt.

"Look," Amethyst said after a few seconds of awkward silence. "We don't have to tell Lapis just yet. Like I said, it's not a conversation to have over Facetime. Once things have calmed down-" She broke off abruptly. "Ah, I gotta go, 'Dot, I really do hear Rubes this time."

"Wait!" Peridot begged, but even as she spoke, she realized she could hear the other gem's voice just before the connection ended. She groaned and flung herself back onto the bed. "I'm not telling Lapis," she muttered mutinously under her breath, knowing full well she was going to end being the one who told Lapis. At least this time she had time to prepare, she tried to reassure herself.

The sound of the temple door opening caught her attention, and she sat up and turned around to see Pearl step out and glance around. "Hello?" she whispered loudly.

"Hello," Peridot called down and watched with some amusement as the other gem jumped violently and almost dropped the cup she was holding.

"Ah, P-Peridot," Pearl stammered, clutching her free hand to her chest. "I thought perhaps- I heard voices?"

"Yes, that was me," Peridot said, holding the phone up by way of explanation. "Amethyst called.

"Oh." Pearl shifted nervously. "Did she ah, mention...?"

"That Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, she faked her own shattering, and upon learning this, Garnet split up?" Peridot paused. "Actually, no. Steven told me."

"Oh," Pearl said again and tilted her head, trying to look past her. "And... Steven is...?"

Peridot considered giving her an annoying non-answer, just to vent some of her own pent-up feelings, but finally took pity on the older gem. "He's asleep. In my room," she elaborated as Pearl continued trying to see around her.

"Oh," Pearl said a third time. She looked over at the closed door, then back up towards Peridot. "Would you mind... I mean to say, that is..." She twisted her hands together and tried to smile. "If you could..."

"Yes, fine, I'll keep the door open," Peridot said in resignation.

Pearl immediately relaxed and moved further into the room. "Thank you. So!" She paused briefly to put the cup on the kitchen counter. "What did Amethyst say?" She looked hopefully up at the other gem. "Did she find Ruby? Are they coming back?"

It was fairly awkward having a conversation on two different levels, so Peridot put the phone back down, stood up and began making her way down the stairs before she replied. "Yes, she found Ruby, but she's not coming back just yet." She frowned slightly. "Something about becoming a cowboy? Unless I misunderstood that?"

"No, that actually makes sense," Pearl murmured.

"Really?" Peridot blinked in surprise. "Oh. Well, then yes, she's a cowboy. Amethyst said she was talking about how great it was being alone- but she also said she wasn't sure it was healthy and then Ruby called her and she had to go," she hastily added as Pearl's eyes welled up with tears. "So that's a good sign, right?"

Pearl buried her face in her hands. "Oh, this is all my fault-"

"What?" Peridot scoffed loudly. "No it's not, it's Rose Diamond or whatever you want to call her, I thought that had been established."

"But-"

"No!" Peridot stamped her foot on the floor in frustration. "I mean, it would've been nice if you hadn't lied to your friends for thousands of years, but you had no choice in the matter."

"But still," Pearl said, stubbornly determined to martyr herself, "I was honored to keep her secret."

"So?" Peridot folded her arms and regarded the other gem sternly. "If you hadn't, would it have made a difference? Could you have ever shared this secret with anyone other than Steven?"

Pearl met her gaze briefly and then looked away. "...No," she admitted softly. "No, I don't believe I could have."

An awkward silence fell between them, and then Pearl turned away and picked up the kettle. "I told Sapphire I'd make tea-"

"Why didn't Rose- I mean, why didn't Pink Diamond tell anyone?" Peridot interrupted, unable to hold back any longer.

"I suppose after five thousand years, she thought it might cause tension," Pearl said snippily, still busying herself with the kettle.

"Yes, obviously I'd worked out that much for myself," Peridot snapped back. "I meant back in the beginning, when she decided to stop playing at rebelling and started taking it seriously."

Pearl finished filling the kettle and placed it on the hob before turning back to face Peridot with a smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes. "She... wanted gems to make their own choices. She didn't want them to feel pressured into joining her just because she was Pink Diamond."

Peridot frowned. "But... they did. Not the ones who joined the Crystal Gems," she clarified as Pearl looked at her in confusion. "The others ones, the ones who fought against the Crystal Gems. _They_ stayed loyal to Pink Diamond. If they were gonna do what she said anyway, wouldn't it have made more sense for her to get them to fight for Earth too instead of pitting them against her own troops?"

"W-well..." Pearl stammered, a blush rising on her cheeks. "I suppose... when you put it like that..." She took a deep breath and straightened up. "What you don't understand though, as that Rose wanted to inspire gems to rise above their station! If a lowly quartz could rebel-"

She was interrupted once again by a loud snort from Peridot. "Oh, please! You don't think a _Diamond_ rebelling wouldn't have been inspiring!?" Her eyes narrowed. "You know, it just sounds like she enjoyed being adored and didn't want to risk losing that-"

"It wasn't like that!" Pearl slammed her hands down on the counter in front of Peridot, who immediately slid off the bar stool she'd been sitting on and crouched down behind it instead, silently cursing herself for momentarily forgetting exactly who she was talking to. Pearl stared at her for a moment and then took a step back and clenched her fists instead. "It wasn't like that," she repeated a little more calmly. "She couldn't just openly rebel against them, they would've destroyed her. Remember how well it went when _you_ stood up to Yellow Diamond?"

Peridot peered cautiously over the top of the counter before slowly straightening up again. "Yes, but... I'm a Peridot. There are thousands of other Peridots back on Homeworld, I can easily- well, not _easily_ be replaced, I'm more intelligent than average and I had a lot of specialized training-"

"And so modest too," Pearl muttered.

"-But the point remains, if Yellow Diamond decided to restart the Cluster project, she could find another Peridot to take my place," Peridot continued, ignoring the comment. "But a _Diamond..._ they're irreplaceable! There have only ever been the four of them! OK, yes, they would've resisted," she admitted, "but surely they would've given her what she wanted in the end, just like they did when she begged for a colony!" She gestured towards the window for emphasis.

Pearl bit her lip and opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, the kettle began to whistle, making them both jump. She turned around and took it off the heat, but instead of making the tea, she simply stood there with her back to Peridot. "You don't understand," she said softly. "She wasn't worried they'd destroy her form."

"What?" Peridot asked blankly.

Pearl turned back to face her again and took a deep breath. "Tell me... have you ever seen White Diamond's Pearl?"

xxx

A/N: Oof, I'm really sorry there haven't been any updates for over a month, I had flu and when I was recovering, all I had the energy and motivation to do was watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine. I dunno if I'm gonna be able to do weekly updates like before, but I am feeling better and writing again, so that's progress.

Also I'm so sorry I kinda killed Pumpkin offscreen! In my defense, when I first started writing this series two years ago, she'd barely showed up and I... kinda forgot she existed, oops, and it's far too late now to write her in. But I didn't want to just avoid mentioning her completely, so when I was thinking about how this became AU as soon as Lapis took the barn, I had to think of a reason why she didn't do so here, and Pumpkin going missing for longer was the perfect excuse. Originally I was gonna have it that she died then and that's why Lapis stayed, but I decided that was mean, so yeah, she just went missing a little longer, Lapis changed her mind during that time, and then Pumpkin lived happily in the barn with them for several more years until she died peacefully of old age.


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

"What?" Peridot asked again. "White Diamond's _Pearl?_ What does that have to do-"

"Have you ever seen her?" Perl persisted urgently.

"No." Peridot shook her head. "I never met any of the Diamond's inner court."

"Really?" Pearl looked surprised. "But you had a special mission from Yellow Diamond?"

Peridot shrugged. "Every gem's mission is to serve the Diamonds. My job may have been more specialized than other Peridots, but as I later discovered, that didn't mean _I_ was important," she said gloomily. "Perhaps if I'd succeeded, it would've been different. So," she quickly continued as Pearl frowned at her, "while my orders did come from Yellow Diamond, they weren't sent to me directly, they were delegated to me by my manager. After that, I spent most of my time working in the Kindergarten laboratories. There wasn't exactly much opportunity there to mingle with the Diamonds and their Pearls," she finished, a little sarcastically. "Why do you ask?"

"Hmm." Pearl drummed her fingers against her chin as she tried to work out how to explain. "Perhaps it would be easier if I showed you."

Before Peridot could ask what she meant, Pearl closed her eyes. Her gem glowed, and projected a figure, one instantly recognizable as another Pearl. Presumably White Diamond's Pearl, Peridot realized.

But... there seemed to be something _wrong_ with her. It wasn't just the cracked eye, although that was definitely jarring. No, it was the odd, flat smile and the stiff, unnatural pose she held. She looked like a mannequin rather than a living gem, and it wasn't what Peridot had expected from White Diamond's Pearl...

Her gaze dropped to the gemstone embedded in the Pearl's belly. The same place Steven's gem was located. The same place Pink Diamond's gem had been located.

"She was Pink Diamond's Pearl, wasn't she?" Peridot looked back up at Pearl's face, noting the gem in the middle of her forehead. "And you belonged to White Diamond," she suddenly realized.

"Ugh, trust you to work that out," Pearl groused, dismissing the projection. "But yes, that is correct."

"So... what happened to her?" Peridot asked in fascination. "Did Pink Diamond break her?" Her eyes widened. "Did _you_!?"

"What!? No!" Pearl shook her head. "No, it was- let me start from the beginning."

All pretense of making tea was dropped as Pearl struck a somber pose. "Pink Diamond wanted a colony of her own, as you know. Her pleas began to wear down the other Diamonds until one day, Blue Diamond agreed to take her along to observe a colony in progress. That planet happened to be the home for another form of organic life."

Pearl paused and shuddered, although whether it was at the thought of the organics or what had happened afterwards, Peridot couldn't tell. "Pink found them fascinating. She wanted to preserve some of them, and begged Blue Diamond to let her bring some of them back to Homeworld. Blue Diamond reluctantly agreed. However, after the colony was completed, Pink threw a ball to celebrate... and brought along the creatures." She shuddered again. "It was chaos! The ballroom was in complete disarray, and they chased us Pearls up and down the hallways until the Quartzes were able to- to deal with them."

"Killed them all, huh?" Peridot commented dryly.

"They were already dying," Pearl said with a sigh. "Homeworld is not designed to sustain organic life for very long, that was why she'd taken them to the ball in the first place, to try and convince the other Diamonds to help her find another way to save them."

She stopped and stared into the distance as the old memories she'd tried to suppress came flooding back. "White Diamond was furious. She took Pink's Pearl and questioned her until she broke. And then... then she..." She struggled to find the right words to explain exactly what White Diamond had done to the Pearl. "She removed her flaws. Made her pure. And in doing so, she took away everything about Pink Pearl that made her _her_ , leaving behind an empty gem, a vessel for White Diamond to control as she saw fit."

She paused, waiting to see if Peridot had anything to say, but for once, the other gem was shocked into silence. "Pink Diamond never really got over it," she said, resuming her story again. "So when she first rebelled, she chose to do so in the form of Rose Quartz for one simple reason: if Rose Quartz and her Pearl didn't really exist, they couldn't be punished. Later on, when she began to take it more seriously, she was aware there would be casualties. But we believed the worst that would happen to them is shattering. Obviously that's not ideal," she quickly added. "But she thought it was a kinder fate than the one that befell Pink Pearl."

She sighed deeply and shook her had. "Unfortunately, we were wrong," she said bitterly. "Pink Diamond underestimated just how important she was to the other Diamonds. She had no idea how far they'd go in retaliation until it was too late. After that, what would've been the point of coming clean? The only gem left to confess to was Garnet, and how could we tell her the truth then, after everything she'd been through? She had no other friends or allies left, no way to leave the planet... Pink said she wanted to wait for the right moment to tell her, but it never happened. Eventually, she refused to discuss it at all. She was Rose Quartz now."

Peridot nodded slowly. "I-I think I understand," she said quietly. Privately, she still thought Pink Diamond was a reckless idiot; understanding her motives didn't mean she thought they were any less insane, but there didn't seem to be any point in saying so. "She didn't want anyone to suffer unnecessarily."

Pearl smiled sadly. "Her biggest mistake was still seeing the good in the other Diamonds," she said quietly. "She forgot that the only reason she'd ever seen that side of them in the past was because she was one of them. Rose Quartz was not. They were never going to let her win."

She turned around abruptly and picked up the kettle again. "I should get back to making this tea, Sapphire will be wondering what's taking so long."

"Right. Yes. I'll just..." Peridot took a step towards her room, then remembered the phone she'd left up in the loft and changed direction. She lingered up there for a little longer than necessary, not wanting to disturb Pearl and make things any more awkward than they already were, but fortunately, it only took a few seconds for the water to reheat. Pearl quickly made the tea, raised a hand to her in farewell, then returned to the temple. Peridot waited a few seconds longer, and then dashed back downstairs to the safety of her room.

For the next twenty minutes, she simply curled up next to Steven and mulled over everything she'd learned since reforming.

Then she brought her tablet over and began to work.

xxx

Steven woke up slowly, unaware of the exact moment he'd awakened, only that he was warm and comfortable and that somebody else, presumably (hopefully) Peridot, was in the bed next to him. He opened his eyes, blinked sleepily and smiled widely when he saw her looking back at him. "Hey."

"Hi." She smiled back and leaned forward and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. "Good morning."

"A very good morning," he agreed, and kissed her back. Then he kissed her again. And one more time, just for luck.

"You're in a good mood today," Peridot observed when they finally parted.

"Well, you reforming and assuring me I hadn't ordered you to love me was a _huge_ weight off my mind," he pointed out. "Plus I had a good night's sleep, which always helps." He yawned and stretched, then put his arms back around her and hugged her closer. "And this is a nice way to wake up too."

"Mmm, it is," Peridot agreed, even though she hadn't been sleeping and had no intention of doing so any time soon. She kissed him again, but when she felt his hands slid down her back to caress her butt, she reluctantly pulled back. "The door's open," she murmured.

The hands paused, and then withdrew. "I've changed my mind," he said theatrically, rolling onto his back and throwing an arm across his forehead. "This morning is the worst."

Peridot giggled at this display of dramatics and leaned over to give him one last peck on the cheek. "I didn't want Pearl to feel uncomfortable about you sleeping in here with me," she explained as she sat up.

"Aww. That's so sweet of you," he cooed. "You're so considerate."

"No, she just made sad noises until I took pity on her," Peridot corrected. "A terrible decision on my part, really."

Steven laughed. "It's OK. We'll just make sure the door's closed – and locked – next time."

"Next time?"

She raised her eyebrows and he grinned sheepishly. "I mean, if you don't mind me sleeping in here, that is."

"I don't mind. So long as you can actually sleep with me in here." She smiled back as she remembered the difficulty he'd had sleeping in the same room as her when she'd first moved into the beach house.

"Well, when you put it like that..." he joked.

She laughed and gave him a playful swat on the arm. "You know that's not what I meant, Steven Quartz Universe!"

"Oh no, my full name, ohh nooo, how scary!" He laughed again, then sobered up as the thought suddenly occurred to him that even his name was a lie. "Doesn't it bother you? Me being a Diamond?" he asked seriously.

Peridot hesitated and she considered her answer. "Honestly... not really. Objectively, I know it probably should, but... you never mislead me about who you are," she tried to explain. "I've always known you were a far more powerful gem than I am, but you've never used that against me. I've always felt safe around you. Those powers may come from a diamond gem rather than a rose quartz, but _you_ haven't changed." She reached out and took hold of his hands, trying to make him understand. "You're still exactly the same person you always have been, Steven." She paused and then grinned ruefully. "But perhaps it also helps that I never met Pink Diamond or Rose Quartz."

Steven smiled back at her, and then stood up and stretched. "Well," he began, leaning over to try and see around the edge of the open doorway into the rest of the house. "I'm gonna go and take a quick shower while the coast's clear."

"OK," Peridot said, already reaching for her tablet so she could get back to work. Now that the Cluster had been moved, the drill was no longer required and she'd spent several hours drawing up plans to repurpose it. And if there was no drill, the drones were also unnecessary, and she paused for a moment to try and think of what to do with them. Perhaps she could send them to Mask Island to help the Watermelon Stevens guard the Cluster? Not that she doubted their abilities, but it had occurred to her that there was no way for them to contact the Crystal Gems if anything happened to the Cluster.

Or perhaps she could place one in the old drop ship where Centipeedle and her crew resided? There hadn't been any opportunity yet to discuss curing them of corruption, but she suspected it would be a much longer recovery than it had been for Steven and herself. They would need a way to remotely observe them, but as she'd told him the other day, there was a camera feed to her tablet, and she could always set up a link to his phone as well-

"Oh _farts!_ " she swore, using her metal powers to grab the phone that had been sat on her desk on the other side of the room. She hadn't told Steven about the messages and phone call from Amethyst, and now she'd have to wait until he came out of the shower. Unless...

She shook her head at once. "Preposterous," she muttered to herself. "And entirely inappropriate. I promised Pearl I'd keep the door open." But even as she said the words aloud to herself, she found herself looking for excuses to break that promise. Which wasn't even _technically_ a promise, and besides, she'd only said she'd keep the bedroom door open-

The phone suddenly buzzed in her hand and she threw it into the air with a squeak of alarm before her senses caught up to her. She shot out a hand and the phone froze in mid-air and then flew back towards her.

Once again, it was a message from Amethyst. A single, smiley emoticon. Then the phone buzzed again and a picture popped up on the screen of what appeared to be a bald, severed head, with the words "get ready for a surprise!" written underneath.

Peridot stared at it in bewilderment. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?" she muttered to herself., casting a suspicious look around the room, half expecting to see Amethyst lurking in a corner, watching her while shapeshifted into the form of a bat or something. It was a ridiculous, paranoid thought, of course... but the other gem clearly had something planned, and as she had no desire to be caught in a compromising position, she reluctantly put the phone back down and picked up her tablet again, trying very hard not to think about how nice it had been to lay in Steven's arms, to feel his hands on her, and how he was just a short distance away, wet and naked...

Abandoning all pretense of work, she opened her most recent fanfic instead and began typing. If she couldn't join Steven in the shower, she could at least channel all her pent up sexual frustration into Percy and Pierre and make them suffer too.

xxx

Steven closed his eyes and let the warm water hammer his body while his mind wandered. Not in the same direction as Peridot's; perhaps it was a good thing she'd decided not to try and join him after all. Instead, now that his more pressing concerns had been addressed, his brain had conjured up another dozen for him to deal with. Like Garnet. Had Amethyst been able to find Ruby and Sapphire? Pearl. Did she have any other revelations up her sleeves? Could she even tell him if she did? Lapis. She'd freaked out when she thought the Diamonds were coming to Earth, how was she going to react when she found out he was one of them?

How were the _Diamonds_ going to react?

Now _that_ was a troubling thought. He blinked water out of his eyes and frowned. Garnet had said they'd come back at some point to find out why the Cluster hadn't emerged. Would it make things better or worse if he told them he had Pink's gem? Would they even believe him? After all, his gem didn't look like hers...

He looked down at his stomach thoughtfully. When his mother had shapeshifted from her Rose Quartz form to her real one, the gem had rotated. Could he do the same?

Could he even shapeshift himself to _look_ like her _-_

He shook his head at once, trying to rid himself of that idea before it could take root in his mind. He'd traumatize everyone he loved!

But then, there were the corrupted gems-

"No, stop that right now, Steven," he told himself sternly. "That's possibly the worst idea you've had since you gave yourself up to Homeworld! Just _talk_ to them!" Really, when he thought about it, quite a lot of their problems could've been solved with better communication.

He shut off the water, stepped out of the bath and wrapped a towel around his waist. As he reached for his clothes, he caught a blurry glimpse of his reflection in the fogged up mirror and paused thoughtfully. Peridot had said he was still the same person, but really, that wasn't entirely true. Steven Quartz Universe, son of Rose Quartz, was a wanted war criminal, an outcast, an Off Color. If the Diamonds ever got hold of him again, they would kill him without a second's hesitation.

But Steven _Diamond_ Universe was another matter entirely. The Diamonds ruled over Homeworld, they were the ones who held all the power. Didn't that give him power too? And wasn't it his responsibility to use it wisely? The Diamonds hadn't listened to Rose, but surely they'd listen to one of their own? OK, yes, admittedly Pearl had said Pink Diamond had tried that first, but that was five thousand years ago and they thought she was dead now. Perhaps after all this time, they'd be willing to reconsider.

But now was not the time to start agonizing over what to say to the Diamonds when they eventually returned to Earth, he had slightly more important priorities right now. Like finding Ruby and reuniting her and Sapphire. And so with that thought, he pulled his clothes on and stepped out of the bathroom to find his phone.

However before he'd even made it halfway across the house, Peridot poked her head out from around her doorway. "Ah, Steven! Amethyst sent you a message; she says she has a surprise."

"If it's a severed head, I'm going to be very upset," he quipped at once.

"Oh." Peridot blinked and looked down at the phone in her hand. "How did you know?"

"What?" Steven took the phone from her and looked at the message, then started to laugh. "Oh! No, it's a joke, it's from Total Recall! It's a disguise," he explained badly in response to her confused expression. "See, this guy needs to get to Mars, but he's being hunted, so he has a fake head over his real one, but then it glitches, so he takes it off and throws it at the guards, then it says 'get ready for a surprise' and blows up."

"It sounds utterly ridiculous," Peridot said flatly.

Steven grinned. "Yeah, you're not wrong," he admitted cheerfully. Then his grin faded when he remembered some of the finer plot details.

"What's wrong?" Peridot asked warily.

"Nothing." He shook his head and forced himself to smile. "Pretty sure I'm not a unwitting sleeper agent sent by Mom to find the identity of the rebel leader, seeing as she _was_ the rebel leader."

Peridot looked even more confused, but before she could ask any further questions, the temple door opened and Sapphire and Pearl stepped out. "Good morning," Pearl said, a wan smile on her face. Sapphire didn't even manage that.

Thankfully, before things could get any more painfully awkward, the front door crashed open and Amethyst burst in. "Ah, great, you're here!"

"Amethyst! Did you find Ruby?" Sapphire asked urgently.

"Yeah, she's outside, and she's got something to say to you," Amethyst said, pointing back over her shoulder. "But you gotta give me a five second head start 'cause aesthetics."

"Wha-" Sapphire began, but Amethyst had already disappeared again. Ignoring the 'five second head start' request entirely, she ran outside. Pearl, Peridot and Steven exchanged glances and then followed her.

Down on the beach, Ruby sat on the back of a purple horse, a cowboy hat pulled down low over her face. Sapphire took one look them and sprinted down the stairs. "Ruby! I'm so sorry! I should have never said those awful things to you. That we didn't matter any more; I shouldn't have pushed you away like that. I was wrong."

"Pt'ooey!" Ruby scoffed, "Naw, you were right." She jumped off of Amethyst's back and slowly approached Sapphire. "Someone else told us we were the answer. But...I don't believe that anymore. At least, not 'til I hear it from you."

She took hold of Sapphire's hand and then knelt down in front of her, oblivious to the gasps and murmurings of their audience. "Sapphire... will you marry me?"

xxx

A/N: I reckon there's still another chapter or two of this left to go, but this feels like a good place to take a break because I wanna take part in Stevidot month. I'm not going to try doing a fic a day, I simply don't have the stamina for that, but one a week should be doable. But don't worry, I'll get straight back to this in June! See you then!


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

"Ugh." Amethyst stuck her tongue out and grimaced as Ruby and Sapphire made eyes at each other over the book of invitation designs. "It's like living with a pair of horny teenagers."

Steven and Peridot stopped flicking through bridal magazines and frowned.

"Sorry, my bad," Amethyst corrected. "The horny teenagers have a little more discretion."

The couple glared at her for a moment longer before turning back to their magazine. "Discrete? We've been the very model of virtue," Steven complained under his breath.

"Yeah. And it sucks," Peridot muttered back, tearing out a page at the same time in the hope that Amethyst wouldn't hear her comment and butt in with something crude. Happily, she'd already turned her attention back to the catering plans. Still, now the subject had been brought up, she couldn't get it out of her head and she cast an envious look over at Ruby and Sapphire, who had given up pretending to choose a design and were now joined together at the lips.

"What's that?" Pearl asked.

"Nothing! What?"

Pearl reached out and tugged the page out of her hand. "Did you choose a flower girl outfit already- huh?" She frowned in confusion at the ragged picture of a smiling bride and groom in a forest. "I thought we'd all agreed on a beach wedding?"

"It's not for them," Peridot said flatly, snatching the picture back.

Pearl opened her mouth and then closed it again. Her eyes flickered over to Amethyst, who smirked knowingly, over to Steven, who blushed and pretended to be very interested in pictures of tiaras, before finally landing on the happy couple. "Ahem," she said pointedly. "Have you chosen a design yet?"

"Mphm-" Ruby reluctantly tore her lips off of her fiancee and tried again. "I was thinking it'd be cool if we had flames?"

"And dolphins," Sapphire quickly added.

"Dolphins with flames!"

Steven tossed his magazine aside and jumped to his feet. "I think page 135 will have exactly what you're looking for," he said smugly, knowing his plans included at least three variations of flaming dolphins.

Sure enough, when Sapphire turned to page 135, they found themselves torn between a dolphin with sunglasses and a dolphin with a lei. "How do you actually have options for this?" Amethyst asked in amazement.

"And how long did it take you to make this?" Sapphire asked, looking longingly at the lei.

"Uh, it's been a work in progress for er... pretty much all my life," he admitted with a blush. "I've been inspired recently. So! How about combining the two and having dolphins with sunglasses _and_ leis?" he quickly moved on before anyone could comment on that. "And then we can start figuring out a guest list so we know how many we need to get printed."

"Well, we should definitely invite Greg," Ruby said at once.

"And your Uncle Andy," Amethyst added with a smirk. "Seeing how much he likes weddings."

"And Connie and her family," Pearl suggested brightly.

"And..." Peridot trailed off as she realized how limited the remaining options were. "You guys took all the good ones," she grumbled.

There was a moment of gloomy silence and then Steven snapped his fingers. "What about Lapis?" he asked brightly. "I'm sure she'd love to come!"

Pearl looked doubtful. "Really? I just mean, she's not exactly... sociable," she quickly clarified as Steven's face fell.

"She might not come, but... she'd like to be invited," Sapphire spoke up.

"Oh, Peridot can deliver the invitation," Amethyst said at once. "In person. They need to talk anyway, right, P-dot?"

"Wrong," Peridot said with a scowl.

"Why, what's up?" Steven asked, watching the exchange with trepidation.

"It's personal," Amethyst said simply. "Plus... y'know."

Steven stared blankly at her for a few seconds, then his eyes widened. "Oh. Shi- heck," he quickly corrected himself as Pearl looked sharply at him. "Um, yeah, I guess we kinda need to tell her what's been going on."

"I'll go and find out where she is," Peridot said with resignation, and disappeared into her room to find her tablet.

Steven stared down at the page full of dolphin invitation designs for a moment longer, and then turned and followed her. There was an unpleasant, swooping feeling in the pit of his stomach now. During the excitement of wedding prep, he'd almost somehow managed to forget _why_ Ruby and Sapphire were getting married. Now he had to break the news to Lapis. And he had a sinking feeling she wasn't going to take it very well either.

Peridot was scowling down at her tablet screen, but forced her features into a more neutral expression when she spotted him. "According to her blog, she's planning to visit The Butts Farm tomorrow. I'll send her a message and ask her if we can join her."

"She's gonna freak out, isn't she?" Steven said glumly.

Peridot paused, mid-message, and then sighed. She would've liked to assure Steven that everything would be fine, but she knew Lapis too well for that. "There's a strong possibility that she'll react badly to the news, yes," she admitted. "We should probably plan how we intend to tell her before we meet up with her."

"Ughhh." Once again, he thought longingly of Garnet's handy forehead kisses. It would've been so useful to know in advance what phrasing would work best. "Maybe we should give her the good news first," he mused aloud. "To soften the blow. Or maybe we should tell her the bad news first," he immediately contradicted himself. "And then give her the good news to distract her."

"No." Peridot shook her head at once. "We should give her the good news – I assume you mean the wedding? We should give her that news first," she said after he nodded in confirmation. "Then the next logical step is to explain _why_ they're getting married. It will make the subject flow more naturally, as opposed to simply dumping the news upon her with no warning."

Plus she had a feeling that if they tried to tell Lapis that Ruby and Sapphire's wedding was good news after telling her the war that had resulted in her five thousand years of imprisonment had basically all been faked, Lapis would tear up the invitation and throw it in their faces. She might still do it anyway, but at least this way, it would be clear from the start that Ruby and Sapphire had been victims of Pink Diamond's deception too.

"OK... wedding invitation first. Maybe I should make notes." He looked around and then snatched up a piece of scrap paper. "Not like a whole speech or anything, just, y'know, points to remember."

"That's a good idea," Peridot said with approval. "Especially as this is a discussion you'll probably have several more times in the upcoming weeks. It would be useful to have a list of the pertinent points to refer to- ah!" She sat up straighter, missing the grimace on her boyfriend's face. "She says we can meet her there tomorrow at ten. Is that her time or ours?" she muttered under her breath and started typing again.

"Is it such a good idea to tell her there?" Steven asked, immediately distracted from the gloomy prospect of repeating his story to even more gems. "Maybe we should go somewhere less public. Maybe even the desert."

Peridot paused again and mulled over the possible pros and cons. "No, I think it would better to do it there. It's a location she's chosen, and it might remind her that she never would've been allowed to do this sort of self-indulgent traveling back on Homeworld. Although yes, you're right, it shouldn't be in public. But it's a farm," she added brightly. "There's bound to be a deserted field we can go to talk to her."

xxx

Ten in the morning, Lapis time, had turned out to be five in the morning their time, so Peridot had negotiated a later time, using the argument that Steven needed to sleep. Technically, it was true. In reality, he woke up on Peridot's sofa again, two hours earlier than necessary. With the door still open and the clear sound of movement in the house beyond, they didn't dare indulge in anything more than a few kisses, but still, it was a nice way to start the day. His brain immediately spoiled it all by pointing out that it wasn't going to last.

That sobering thought drove him out from under the covers and into the house, where Ruby and Sapphire were still pouring over his wedding scrapbook. "Ah, Steven!" Ruby exclaimed, bouncing to her feet. "What d'ya think, cupcake tower or traditional?" she asked, holding the book out towards him.

"Uh..." He took a quick step back so that he could get a better look at the page and then smiled wryly to himself when he realized the traditional one was a geode-style one, similar to the one from his corruption dream. Pretty though it was, it had definitely lost its appeal. "It's your wedding though, it's really not up to me though," he began diplomatically.

"We'd appreciate your opinion in this matter," Sapphire said sweetly. "I'm rather fond of the cupcakes, but Ruby prefers the more traditional approach."

"Just _look_ at it, Saphy!" Ruby looked down at the page with almost as much longing as she looked at her fiancee. "It's so pretty! And we could customize it blue and red, to look like us!"

"Mmm," Sapphire said vaguely, and Steven shot her a look, suddenly wondering if her future vision had shown her his true feelings towards the geode cake. Did she even really like the cupcakes? She'd always seemed fairly old-fashioned and traditional to him, had she just picked the cupcakes because she'd known he'd prefer them? Or did she think he'd work out that she was using her future vision and then side with Ruby to prove her wrong? Or was she being deliberately contrary on some level to deal with the discovery that she'd been following the orders of another Diamond for thousands of years?

Maybe she really did just like the cupcakes. He honestly couldn't tell.

"Well... they both have their good points," he began diplomatically. "Cupcakes are good 'cause you can make sure you have the same number as the number of guests, so nothing gets wasted, and everyone gets the same amount of cake, plus you can customize them more. But," he continued as Sapphire smirked over at her fiancee, "you can't really do the traditional cake cutting with cupcakes. And a traditional cake is good if you're not sure about your guest numbers, 'cause you can cut bigger or smaller pieces-"

"Why don't you just get both?" Amethyst interrupted, popping up behind him and making him jump.

"It would cost an additional five hundred dollars to get both," Sapphire said bluntly.

"So? It's not like Greg can't afford it," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but he just spent a million dollars on hospital fees," Ruby butted in. "So we don't feel right asking for more than we have to."

"A _million!?_ " Amethyst's mouth dropped open. "Dude! How!? All you did was sleep!"

"Lion blasted that thingy, remember?" Steven muttered self-consciously and quickly moved the topic on. "So just out of curiosity, does dad actually know he's paying for this?"

"He offered," Ruby said happily. "It's our wedding present."

"Oh, right, presents!" Amethyst snapped her fingers. "Do you guys have a registry set up yet?"

"No?" Ruby looked blankly at her. "I mean, what would we even ask for?"

"Household equipment," Peridot piped up from the kitchen, where she'd been gathering snacks with half an ear on the conversation. "So the couple can set up a new home together."

"Oh yes, I remember that one," Sapphire said with glee. "Percy, Pierre..."

"And seventeen toaster ovens!" Ruby finished.

"Not gonna ask," Amethyst muttered under her breath. Then she spoke again in her usual tone. "OK, yes, we don't need any of that, but people _are_ gonna want to buy you gifts, so you might as well set up a list somewhere of stuff you want."

"But we don't need anything..." Ruby began.

Amethyst held up a hand to stop her. "I didn't say 'need.' I said 'want.'"

Ruby and Sapphire exchanged open-mouthed looks. Clearly this was a distinction that hadn't occurred to them, and they huddled together and began to discuss their options in hushed tones. Mildly ominous words such as 'turbo,' 'massive' and ' flamethrower' drifted over towards the others, who all privately decided they were better off not knowing. "I'm gonna go and get Lion," Steven announced, leaning over Peridot to grab one of Lion's ice creams he kept especially for bribing the animal. "Then shall we get going?"

"Yes, I believe I've packed adequate supplies," Peridot agreed, zipping up Steven's old cheeseburger backpack before slipping the straps over her shoulders.

"Great, let's go!" He grabbed her hand and gave the other gems a wave. "Bye guys, we'll see you later!"

A chorus of farewells escorted them out of the house and down to the beach. Underneath the decking, Lion was curled up, apparently asleep, but one eye cracked open at the sound of the crinkling of ice cream wrappers, and a few moments later, they were hurtling through the portal that lead to The Butts Farm.

Lapis was pacing back and forth in front of a tractor, and flew several feet in the air with a shriek as Lion suddenly appeared and skidded to a halt exactly where she'd been standing. "Steven! " she cried, retaining her composure and pulling him in for a fond hug.

Peridot coughed pointedly.

"And Peridot," the other gem added with a small laugh. "So what's up? You said you had some news for me?"

"Uh…" Steven hadn't anticipated being asked that question so quickly and glanced over at Peridot for help. "It's nothing urgent, it can wait," he lied. "Let's check out this farm first. So! Butts Farm! What's the story there?"

The smile slid off Lapis's face. "What's going on?" she asked warily. "What's the news?" Her eyes widened in alarm. "Is it Jasper? You cured Jasper, didn't you!?"

"What? No!" Steven waved his arms frantically.

"We haven't tried using the song on anyone yet, let alone Jasper," Peridot added, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice. "We've been busy with the Cluster."

"Oh." Lapis relaxed and smiled again. "How did it go?" She bounced up and down on tiptoe for a few seconds. "Feels pretty solid… so I'm guessing the planet didn't blow up."

"Nope!" Peridot instantly forgot her exasperation and puffed up with pride. "Oh, you should've seen Steven," she bragged, flinging her arms around him. "He was magnificent! He made contact with the Cluster to calm it down, and then transported it perfectly to its new location!"

"Aheh." Steven smiled self-consciously. "It wasn't just me," he quickly added. "I never could've done it without my ground crew. And, of course, my lovely pilot."

They exchanged soppy looks until Lapis loudly cleared her throat. "Well aren't you two adorable," she said dryly. "If that's all, shall we go in?"

The soppy looks turned wary. "Actually... that's not the news," Steven reluctantly admitted, releasing his hold on Peridot.

Lapis tilted her head. "Then what-"

"Ruby and Sapphire are getting married!" Peridot blurted out. She forced a wide, cheerful smile onto her face as Lapis stared at her, and hoped it looked convincing. "Yay!"

Steven took the backpack from Peridot and quickly rummaged through the contents. "Here," he said, handing over the garish invitation. "They'd really like it if you could be there."

"Married?" Lapis took the invitation and looked at it in confusion. "That's that thing your Uncle Andy talked about, isn't it?"

"Ye-es," Steven said carefully.

"But... I thought it was a human thing?" she asked. "That's what you said when we brought that wedding cake to get married with."

"Ahah. Yes." He felt a beat of sweat roll down his face. "Um, the thing is..."

Something brushed against his hand, and he looked down to see Peridot's fingers wrap around his own, reminding him that he wasn't alone in this, and with newfound determination, he raised his eyes to meet Lapis's. "We found out mom had been lying about something pretty big for a long time. Something _so_ big, Garnet split up over it."

"Garnet split up?" Lapis took a step back. Suddenly she wasn't sure she wanted to know this news after all. No, she definitely didn't want to know this news. Unfortunately for her, Steven was determined to finish talking and she didn't quite dare stick her fingers in her ears and go "la la la."

"They spent a couple of days apart, just processing it," Steven carried on relentlessly. "Then they talked and... well, decided they wanted to get back together on their own terms, by having a wedding."

"That's great!" Lapis pasted a wide, fake smile on her face. "Tell them I said congratulations! But I don't think I'm going to be able to make it, what a shame. Let's go visit the farm now!" And she spun around and strode towards the entrance.

"Lapis, please!" Peridot called after her. "This is important!"

Lapis paused and considered her options for a few moments. Running away was a deeply tempting one; mostly because she could fly and they couldn't. She could probably get a fair distance away before they caught up. But then, they would catch her eventually. Peridot was too stubborn not to. All she'd be doing was delaying the inevitable. Probably not by much, she gloomily concluded when she belated remembered they had Lion with them too. What would be the point in running away when they could just open a portal to her hiding place? And so she turned around and stomped back towards them. "All right, fine, tell me," she snapped. "Get it over with. What did Rose do? Let me guess." She thought wildly for something ridiculous, just to try and lighten the horrible, oppressive atmosphere that had fallen between them and prove she wasn't scared. "She created the Cluster."

To her immense dismay, instead of immediately laughing in her face and denying the accusation, they exchanged uncertain looks. "Oh come on! You're joking!" she burst out. "She didn't really, did she!?"

"No! No." Peridot shook her head. "I'm relatively certain she didn't have a hand in creating the Cluster."

"Well _that's_ reassuring," Lapis said sarcastically.

"But... she might have known," Steven said, looking troubled.

Lapis shook her head. "But... how? How could she have known!?"

"I don't think she knew for certain," Peridot said, more to Steven than Lapis. "She may have heard rumors..."

"...But she wouldn't have let herself believe it," Steven finished. "Not when they-"

"When you're quite finished, are either of you going to actually tell me what's going on!?" Lapis interrupted furiously.

Steven flushed. "Sorry. I just hadn't considered that until-" He stopped, shook his head and started again. "OK. So... Mom, Rose Quartz... she wasn't who we thought she was. She was Pink Diamond. She disguised herself as a Rose Quartz and faked her own death," he explained steadily.

"So you see," Peridot interjected, "we've just realized she may have heard something about the Cluster project from the other Diamonds-"

"She knew," Lapis breathed.

"Well like I said, I don't think she knew for _certain..._ " Peridot trailed off as clouds gathered overhead and thunder rumbled ominously. "Uh..."

"She _knew!_ " Lapis clenched her fists and began to pace back and forth. "She was- she was there! And she- she was _there_ and she saw and she _knew_ all along!"

"What?" Steven tilted his head in confusion. "How do _you_ know she-"

"I have to go," Lapis said abruptly, and before either of them could say a word to stop her, she unfurled her wings and shot up through the clouds like a rocket. A few seconds later, the clouds began to clear and sunlight shone upon them.

"OK..." Steven frowned up at the sky and shook his head in confusion. "That was weird. What did she mean, mom knew about the Cluster?"

Peridot bit her lip. Her logical mind was putting together the pieces and they weren't making a very pretty picture of Rose Quartz. "I don't think she was talking about the Cluster. I could be wrong though," she hastily added, then immediately realized that would be worse. "I mean, I don't think she had anything to do with the Cluster either, I could be wrong about this other thing, Lapis didn't exactly elaborate."

"Right." Steven nodded slowly and then shook his head. "Sorry, I'm lost. What other thing?"

"I mean..." Peridot paused and glanced back up at the sky. "I think what Lapis was trying to say is that Pink Diamond was there. When she was put in the mirror."

Steven's eyes widened. "So when Pearl found it and showed it to mom..."

"She would've known at once that Lapis was a sentient gem, trapped in there," Peridot finished.

"Oh geez." Steven groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "Poor Lapis. Mom really screwed her over."

It was true, but Peridot didn't like to see him beating himself up about it. "She screwed everybody over," she reminded him. "And I could be wrong about Lapis."

Steven laughed bitterly. "Yeah. But I don't think you are." He sighed and straightened up again. "So what do we do now?"

Peridot shrugged. There was nothing they could do for Lapis until she came back. If she came back. Hopefully she would, once she remembered that Steven had been the one to release her from her prison. And until then...

"We look around Butts Farm," she said firmly, and then she took his hand and began leading him towards the entrance. "Come on. It's been a while since I did any farming, I want to see how they grow the butts."

xxx

A/N: I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update this! I am just not productive during the holidays, I'm afraid. It's time to admit it, the regular posting schedule for this fic has gone out the window. It seems nine chapters is the maximum I can post on a consistent weekly basis. Also on a completely unrelated note, no, I have not seen the movie yet, please don't spoil me!


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

"Goats were domesticated ten thousand tears ago," a ruddy-faced farmer declared, gesturing towards the three goats in the pen. "All except for Wenna there, who's still convinced she's in charge. And well, mebbe she is," he said with a rueful chuckle, and a few tourists laughed politely.

Peridot laughed as well, but then she heard a faint chime and groaned internally. _Not again..._

But sure enough, she spotted movement in the corner of her vision. Steven was checking his phone again, a troubled expression on his face. She hadn't been expecting this trip to be a happy fun date time, not with the news they had to break and who they had to break it to, but even so, she had hoped they might be able to get a brief respite from all the Pink Diamond nonsense while they were out of the house.

Unfortunately, the tractor ride, hay maze and butter churning activities had all been interrupted by breaking news alerts about freak storms and Steven had been fretting over them all afternoon. She leaned against the fence and let her gaze drift towards the goats as she tried to think of some way to distract him. Use her metal powers to break his phone? Or a little public humiliation? Public humiliation, she decided. After all, it wasn't as if she was ever going to see these people again. "What's it this time?" she asked, leaning casually against the fence and letting her arm dangle over the edge. "Another tornado?"

"Yeah..." Steven muttered, scrolling down the page. "It's a small one, like the others, but it's wiped out several islands-"

"Uninhabited ones, yes?" Peridot quickly checked.

"Well... yes, as far as I can tell," he admitted.

Peridot relaxed again and discreetly shook her arm. "Then we do the same thing as we did last time – leave her alone to get it out of her system," she said firmly. "Getting in her way will simply give her a new target to lash out at."

"But-" Steven began.

At that moment, Peridot felt something tug at her sleeve. _Finally._ She glanced down at the goat nibbling curiously on her clothing and let out a dramatic shriek. "Gah! Steven! Help! The Great and Lovable Peridot is under attack!" She made a halfhearted attempt to pull her arm free and the goat, sensing mischief, dug its hooves into the ground and yanked her back. "It's going to eat me!" she wailed, throwing her free arm across her face. "This is the end! Steven!" She uncovered her face and stared mournfully at him, ignoring the smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. "Before I die, I want you to know, I have always loved you. Please leave a suitable period of mourning before you move on. Thirty years should be adequate."

"I don't think that'll be necessary," Steven assured her with a laugh, and stepped forward and grabbed her around the waist. There was a brief tug-of-war, a tearing sound, and the couple staggered backwards. On the other side of the fence, the goat bounced around in triumph for several seconds until the simulated fabric sparkled and vanished. It left out a bleat of annoyance, turned around and stalked away.

"Hah!" Peridot gloated. She waved her arm, and the torn sleeve reformed. "Take that, you vicious beast! None of you are a match for my Steven!"

"Yeah. None of you," Steven repeated, letting go of her again. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "It's weird though. That's like, the third animal that's tried eating your clothes."

"W-well... they must be attracted to the light particles," she stammered.

"Must be," he said solemnly, although the corners of his lips twitched upwards again. He looked at his phone again and frowned thoughtfully. "This place closes soon. What do we do?"

Peridot hesitated, guessing he probably wasn't referring to their next choice of farmyard activity. "Well... our mission objective was to update Lapis on the new information we'd learned about Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond, and to invite her to the wedding, and we have completed both of those tasks successfully."

Steven's frown deepened. "So... we just go home?"

Peridot shrugged helplessly. "There's not much we can do if Lapis isn't actually here," she pointed out. "And there's no guarantee she'll return here when she's done... you know." She waved her hands vaguely in the direction Lapis had flown off in. "Unleashing her pent-up rage. We can continue to monitor her movements back in Beach City," she continued, seeing that he still looked unconvinced. "In fact, I can write a program to do so much more efficiently," she couldn't help boasting. "And from there, we can easily reach a warp pad if Lapis's behavior escalates or endangers the people of this planet, but I don't believe that will be necessary, she isn't trying to hurt anybody."

"Except herself," Steven muttered. He glanced up at the sky for a moment and then sighed and nodded. "OK, you're right, I guess. We can't really do anything else here."

"Except maybe visit the gift shop," Peridot suggested hopefully. "Perhaps we could pick up a wedding gift for Ruby and Sapphire. Or..." she continued, seeing that he didn't look particularly enthused by that idea, "we could just collect Lion from the barn and go."

"Collect Lion," Steven agreed at once.

The farm staff had generously allowed Lion to stay in an old hayloft during their visit; his unnatural pinkness and a peek inside his head (plus a generous financial contribution) had convinced them that he was not a normal lion and thus... well, not exactly harmless, but that he _probably_ wouldn't try and eat all the sheep. But as they approached the building, it quickly became clear that Lion wasn't the only strange lifeform hanging around.

"Lapis!" Steven ran forward and waved wildly at the figure pacing back and forth on the roof. "Over here!"

Lapis snapped to attention and unfurled her wings, landing heavily in front of them a few seconds later with enough force to made the ground tremble. "Hey."

"Hello," Peridot said warily, keeping a safe distance. She had a sneaking suspicion Lapis hadn't quite finished working through her anger.

Even Steven, who was usually oblivious to other people's bad moods, couldn't help but pick up on it, and had also stopped a few steps away from her. Then he steeled himself and walked closer. "So, um... how are you feeling now?" he asked carefully.

"I'll be honest, I've been better," Lapis said flatly. She stared at his stomach for a moment, making him squirm, and then turned away and folded her arms. "So. Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond."

"Um, yeah." Steven's hands unconsciously moved to cover his gem. "She uh, she wanted to stop colonizing the Earth, but the other Diamonds wouldn't let her, so she shapeshifted into Rose and started the rebellion instead."

"Against... herself." Lapis's lips curled into a sneer, as if she found the entire story too ridiculous to take seriously. Which, Peridot had to admit, was fair.

"We know it seems like an extremely illogical decision to make," she said, edging protectively in front of Steven. "But there was some reasoning behind her actions. Not much, admittedly, but a little."

Lapis let out a derisive snort, but she didn't press any further. Instead, she continued to look out across the rolling fields of the farm. "She was there," she said quietly. "Pink Diamond. When I was in the mirror."

"Oh, yeah, Peridot figured that out," Steven said, giving his girlfriend a proud smile.

"Of course she did," Lapis muttered, and rolled her eyes. "Anyway," she said in a louder tone, "she questioned me. They all did, of course, but she questioned me the most. I always thought it was just because, y'know, the rebellion was happening on her colony, but now... she knew I wasn't a Crystal Gem, obviously, so she must've been trying to find out why I was there and how much I knew, even stuff I didn't know I know." She scowled darkly. "Explains why she just left me in Pearl's head all that time even though she could've healed me at any time."

"Pearl didn't know, did she?" Peridot guessed.

Sure enough, Lapis shook her head. "She'd have bubbled the mirror at once if she knew. I think the only reason Rose Quartz didn't was because Pearl handed me over in front of Garnet and Amethyst and she didn't want to freak out in front of them." She laughed dryly. "Maybe she even really believed I was too badly damaged to be a threat." Then she paused as a thought occurred to her. "She knew Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, didn't she?"

"Uh, yeah," Steven said sheepishly.

"Figures." Lapis snorted. "So much for the 'Terrifying Renegade Pearl'. Turns out she was a perfect, loyal Diamond servant all along."

Peridot frowned. She had plenty of her own issues with Pearl, but still, she didn't like the mocking edge in Lapis's words. "She didn't have a choice."

"She did try telling me before," Steven added as Lapis shot them a skeptical look. "But her hands kept covering her mouth so she couldn't get the words out, 'cause Mom ordered her to never tell anyone."

"Like an Unbreakable Vow," Peridot piped up helpfully.

"Really?" Lapis blinked.

Steven nodded. "I had to go into her gem in the end just so she could show me what had happened."

"Huh. Well, that's gross."

There wasn't really much Steven and Peridot could say to that, so they simply shrugged and watched as Lapis looked out across the fields again, mulling over this new information. "I'll _consider_ coming to the wedding," she said finally. "I'm not saying I'll _definitely_ be there," she warned as a wide smile spread across Steven's face. "But... I'll think about it."

And with that, she spread her wings and took off again. As soon as she was out of sight, Steven turned to face Peridot, looking far more cheerful than he had done a few minutes earlier. "She said she'll come to the wedding! Isn't that great!?"

"She said she _might_ ," Peridot cautioned. Then she smiled ruefully. "I will admit though, it's more than I expected."

"One more cupcake for the guest list." Steven laughed and started walking towards the barn with significantly more enthusiasm than he had a few minutes earlier. "That makes what, six now?"

"Mmm." Peridot tried to smile back, but somehow, six guests didn't feel like all that much to celebrate. Especially when they were more Steven's friends than Ruby and Sapphire's. "It's a pity we won't be able to cure any of their old friends in time for this," she said aloud. "I mean, we could _try_ , we could spend tomorrow testing the song on Centipeedle and her crew, but I doubt there'd be enough time to- Steven?"

Steven had stopped several steps back and was staring at her open-mouthed. "Not all of them," he breathed.

"What are you talking about?" Then all of a sudden, she understood, just as he opened his mouth and confirmed her suspicions.

"I wanna unbubble Bismuth."

xxx

A few minutes later, the couple stood in the Burning Room and stared up at the rainbow-colored gem floating above them in its glossy pink bubble. "Are you sure about this?" Peridot finally asked. It had seemed like a logical enough suggestion back at Butts Farm, but now they were back in the Temple with Bismuth's bubble just inches away, doubts began to flutter through her. "Maybe we should talk to the others first."

"No." Steven shook his head firmly. "You heard Garnet, they've already talked about letting her out before and decided not to." He gestured up at the bubble. "I was kinda hoping they'd do it in the future when, y'know, I'm not around, but now with all this Pink Diamond stuff to deal with too..." He trailed off with a sigh. "Don't get me wrong, I love the gems, but their way of dealing with stuff is to... not. Lapis's mirror, the Rubies, you... they just ignore it all until they _have_ to deal with it." Then he smiled ruefully. "Mostly because I got in the way. And even then, I didn't bother doing anything about the Rubies until Navy literally landed on our doorstep."

"It wasn't one of our finest moments," Peridot admitted.

"Yeah. I can't even be mad at her for taking the ship and ditching us in the ocean. We just left them in space! After one of them got cracked!" He steeled his shoulders and stepped forward. "So if they're not going to do anything about Bismuth, I am. She deserves to know why Mom _really_ bubbled her."

"Wait!" Peridot blurted and grabbed his arm. She understood his motivations, but she also hadn't forgotten Garnet's original reasons for leaving Bismuth bubbled. "What if she attacks you?"

Steven hesitated. "Well... I guess I'd have to fight her again. But at least she'd know the truth."

Peridot shook her head impatiently; she already knew he'd want to unbubble Bismuth anyway, just as he wanted to cure Jasper, that wasn't the issue. "No, I mean, perhaps a room full of corrupted, bubbled gems isn't the best place to have this conversation."

"Oh!" Steven took a hasty step backwards. "Yeah, good point. Especially as she doesn't even know _why_ they're bubbled."

"You didn't tell her!?"

"It was a busy day!" Steven said defensively. "We didn't even have time to introduce her to you and Lapis! Plus we'd already told her Rose was gone and we'd lost the war, that was quite enough bad news for one day."

Peridot pursed her lips, but she had to admit, he had a point. It had taken months for anyone to tell her what had happened to Lapis and Jasper, after all. A day was certainly not enough time to give Bismuth all the bad news she'd missed out on. "Where should we do this then? I'm guessing maybe not Mask Island," she added darkly.

"Ah, no." Steven shuddered. "The Cluster is definitely something else I want to put off for a bit longer." He drummed his fingers on his chin for a moment, deep in thought. "What about the Strawberry Battlefield? She's already been there, so she knows how much it's changed."

"What about all the weapons?" Peridot said doubtfully.

"It shows we trust – or that we _want_ to trust her enough that we're willing to risk it," he explained. "Plus she doesn't know about your metal powers, so if we do have to poof her again, you'd take her completely by surprise. Or we can go somewhere else," he suggested, seeing that she still didn't look convinced. "Like the desert, there's nothing there for miles."

"I would be more comfortable in a more neutral environment," Peridot said with visible relief.

"Desert it is then." Steven stepped forward again and carefully plucked Bismuth's bubble out of the air. "Let's do this."


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

The gem hung in the air for a moment, and then Bismuth reformed. She looked around, confused and disorientated, until she spotted the two unfamiliar figures standing nearby-

Her eyes narrowed. No, her suspicions were correct, one of them _was_ familiar. "Rose- I mean, Steven?"

"Uh, yeah." He smiled nervously. "There's even a third option now too, heh."

Bismuth ignored that comment and continued to stare at him. The general overall appearance was still the same, but he was taller and broader than he had been, as if he'd fused with another couple of Stevens (and then been slightly stretched to give him a neck), except she was pretty sure that wasn't possible. _Humans grow_ , she suddenly remembered. "How long has it been this time?" she asked in resignation.

"About four years," he admitted.

Bismuth mulled over that information for a moment. "I guess it's better than five thousand three hundred. So what's changed? Why did you let me out?" She tilted her head slightly to get a better look at the other gem. "And who's your friend?"

Steven decided to answer the safe, easy question first. "This is Peridot," he said, gesturing proudly towards his girlfriend.

Peridot stepped forward and held out her hand. "Greetings, Peridot Facet 2F5L, Cut 5XG. I've heard a lot about you."

"Oooooh dear," Bismuth laughed mirthlessly.

"It wasn't all bad," Peridot hastily assured her. "And if it makes you feel any better, I tried to kill Steven as well when I first met him."

"You? Really?" Bismuth's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I seem to inspire that reaction in a lot of people," Steven said, only half-joking.

"And I was a lot more intimidating back then," Peridot confided cheerfully.

"But that's not why we've unbubbled you." Steven said, suddenly serious. "You remember how you fought with Mom because her war strategy didn't make sense? You were right."

"It made sense to her though," Peridot added ominously.

"What?" Bismuth looked blankly at them.

Steven hesitated for a moment and then steeled himself. "She didn't want a weapon that could shatter the Diamonds, right?"

"...Right," Bismuth said slowly.

"That's because she was one of them. Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond in disguise."

"...What?" Bismuth asked again. "She- what?" She waited for them to start laughing and let her in on the joke, but when it didn't happen, she had to accept the horrible possibility that they might actually be telling her the truth. "But- our soldiers, she just- and they-" She shook her head, trying to make sense of it all. "Was it sabotage? Did she make us lose on _purpose?_ "

"No, no, she really did wanna save the Earth," Steven quickly confirmed. "She tried when she was Pink Diamond, but they wouldn't listen to her, so she tried again as Rose Quartz and faked her own shattering to show them how serious she was."

"No wonder she always knew what the other side were up to," Bismuth muttered.

Steven nodded sadly. "Except for the final weapon. That one took her by surprise."

Bismuth mulled over that for a moment. "I don't get it though. If Pink Diamond wanted to save the Earth too, why didn't she get both armies to work together instead of fighting each other?"

"She didn't want anyone to get hurt," Peridot explained.

"She didn't-" Bismuth stopped. And then she began to laugh.

Peridot was momentarily startled, then she smiled slightly in return. "Yes, well, I have yet to hear anyone describe Pink Diamond as being particularly smart."

"Nah, she was smart. Smarter than me," Bismuth said ruefully. "I was so excited to show her the Breaking Point too. Can you imagine it? Hey, Rose! Check out this cool weapon I made, I'm gonna shatter you with it!" She sighed and turned away. "I really thought our problems would disappear if we could just shatter a Diamond."

"No, you would've needed to shatter all of them," Peridot said.

"Peridot!" Steven gasped.

"Not that I endorse such tactics," his girlfriend quickly clarified. "Steven and I have already agreed that simply poofing and bubbling them to remove them from power should be sufficient. Even though Yellow Diamond _did_ personally attempt to have me shattered," she pointedly concluded.

Steven laughed. "Fair point, I'll give you that."

"Yellow really tried to shatter you?" Bismuth looked at Peridot with new respect. "How'd you manage to piss her off?"

Peridot blushed, recalling the proudest, most embarrassing moment of her life. "I called her a clod. To her face."

Bismuth let out a shout of laughter. "You've got guts, tiny! I like you!"

Steven grinned proudly. "Me too." then his expression turned serious again. "So um, sorry. About all of this."

Bismuth nodded. "Thanks. For talking to me."

"You're taking this very well," Peridot commented.

"Well, Rose already betrayed me once before, remember?" Bismuth said with a bitter smile. "So what's a little more betrayal between friends?" Then she paused as a thought occurred to her. "Wait, so how did the others take it?"

"Garnet took it really badly," Steven said, wisely omitting the part where Pearl has known all along. "She unfused over it."

"What!? Noooo!" Bismuth cried, looking genuinely distraught. "They're my favorite couple!"

"They've reconciled now," Peridot reassured her. "They just haven't fused yet. There's something they'd like to do first."

"That's the other reason why we unbubbled you," Steven added. "We want to invite you to Garnet's wedding!"

"Garnet's wedding, huh?"

"Yeah!" Steven said enthusiastically. "It would be great if you could attend."

Bismuth laughed. "Yeah, OK, sure. I don't have any plans, so I guess I can come."

Peridot and Steven cheered in unison.

"Quick question first," Bismuth said once they'd quietened down. "What's a wedding?"

xxx

"-So that's when we had the idea to invite you," Steven finished.

Peridot glanced up at the sky, did a few mental calculations and frowned slightly. "The wedding's the day after tomorrow and there's a lot of work to do. If you're attending, we should start heading back. I still need to choose a flower girl dress before they try and force me into that ruffled monstrosity they had their eye on," she finished darkly.

"You'd look adorable in it," Steven said soppily.

"I'd rather wear a potato sack."

"You'd look adorable in a potato sack too."

Bismuth cleared her throat. "Shall we head back then, so I can say 'hi'?"

"Oh! Yeah!" Steven bounced on the balls of his feet in excitement. "This is gonna be great, they're gonna be so surprised to see you!"

"Surprised?" Bismuth took a step backwards. "Wait, they don't know I'm coming? I can't do this."

"Right, yeah." Steven dug his hands into his pockets and yanked out his phone. "You gotta have a gift. They were setting up a registry this morning, so there should be- ah, here!"

"What? No!" She took another step backwards. "I mean... what am I gonna say to them?"

"You could do one of your signature catchphrases," he suggested obliviously. "Like, 'let's get down to Bismuth', or 'anybody wanna start a small Bismuth'? Ooh, or 'did any of you Bis-miss-th me?"

Peridot, who'd been watching the exchange with increasing second-hand embarrassment, saw a flicker of hurt cross Bismuth's face and suddenly understood. "They did miss you, Bismuth," she said quietly. "They're going to be delighted to see you again."

"Yeah?" Bismuth turned away. "If they were that eager to see me, they would've let me out already."

"It's only been four years-" Steven began.

"Four, four thousand, does it matter? They were _never_ going to let me out," she snapped. "You told them what happened and they made their choice. They don't want me on their team any more. And why would they? I attacked you."

"So did I," Peridot butted in. "Do you know why I'm still here?"

Bismuth paused and turned back around to look at them both. "Because... because Steven likes you," she said slowly.

"Precisely!" she answered. "And Steven likes _you_."

"Plus _they_ like you," Steven added. "See, when I unbubbled Peridot, she uh, she was kinda... like a bit-"

"You can say it. I was evil," Peridot said dismissively.

"Not evil. Just... you didn't know anything else. But she _was_ kind of our enemy," he explained to Bismuth, who was looking very confused by this turn in conversation. "So if she had to be poofed and bubbled again, it wasn't a big deal to them, you know? One or two of them might've even been looking forward to it," he muttered under his breath. "But you," he continued in a louder tone. "You were their friend. And they knew you had every reason to be mad after what Mom did to you. They were scared that if they unbubbled you, they might have to fight against you, and they didn't want that." He stepped forward and held out a hand to her. "So if we can show them that's not gonna be an issue, everything will be fine."

Bismuth looked at his outstretched hand and then into his eyes, which shone with sincerity. "Hm. Well... I guess when you put it like that, it does kinda explain things... "

"Great!" Peridot exclaimed. "Let's head back to the house immediately!"

"Actually..." Bismuth smiled hesitantly. "Could we go to my forge first? There's something I wanna do."

xxx

"1040 teabags?" Amethyst frowned. "Not that I'm complaining, but wouldn't you guys prefer a nice teapot instead?"

"No?" Ruby gestured towards the kitchen counter. "We already _have_ a teapot."

"Yeah, but it's like, two hundred years old. And ugly. And Pearl's."

Pearl's head popped up from behind her magazine. "It's a communal teapot," she said primly. "And there's nothing wrong with it."

"If it's communal, how come you never let me use it?" Amethyst challenged.

"Because it's two hundred years old and you'd break it."

"See?" Amethyst turned back to Ruby and Sapphire. "If you had your own teapot, nobody could ban you from using it."

"But we're not banned from using it," Sapphire said mildly. "So a second teapot would be redundant. We'd never use it."

"But we _will_ use a thousand teabags," Ruby happily added.

"There's nothing to stop you from putting a teapot on your own wedding gift registry though," Pearl teased.

"Hilarious. You should be on stage."

So absorbed were they in their discussion, that they failed to notice the incoming warp until Steven cleared his throat loudly. "AHEM."

"Hey Steven, 'Dot, Bismuth," Amethyst said absently. "Anyway, like I was saying, once Yellowbutt dies, me and Vidalia-" She stopped, belated noticing the hush that had fallen over the room. "I said too many names there, didn't I?"

"Nope," Peridot said smugly as Pearl, Ruby and Sapphire stared speechlessly at them. "You said exactly the right number of names."

"Hey everyone." Bismuth smiled nervously. "Did you guys... Bis- _miss_ -th me?"

"I invited Bismuth," Steven said brightly as the gems continued to stare silently at them, hoping his rapidly rising panic wasn't showing on his face. "I hope that's cool." And if it wasn't, he really was gonna go to the Sea Shrine and find a time travel hourglass to undo this so Bismuth didn't have to remember being rejected by her friends.

Thankfully, it turned out that wasn't going to be necessary as Sapphire jumped to her feet, threw the wedding book aside and flung herself at Bismuth. "Bismuth!"

"Wha-whoa, Sapphire!"

Bismuth staggered slightly, only to find herself with her arms full of even more gems as Ruby and Pearl tackled her too, knocking her to the floor. "Biiiiismuth!" they wailed in unison.

"You wouldn't believe what we've been through!" Sapphire sobbed. "I'm so sorry! We should've-"

"Look, I'm right there with you. Steven and Peridot filled me in," she reassured them, climbing back to her feet and carefully placing her friends back on the ground. "Oh! Ruby, Sapphire, I heard you're supposed to bring gifts to these things." She opened her hand to reveal two beautifully crafted rings. "They're not weapons, but Steven seemed to think they'd come in handy."

Ruby and Sapphire smiled in delight. "We love them!"

xxx

A/N: My biggest problem with including major events from canon is figuring out how much to work off the episode transcript. Too much, and you might as well skip over the whole thing. Too little, and you risk making the characters OOC because of course, you already know how they'd act in character, you watched it on screen! So that's why I skipped over Steven explaining his adventures in Pearl's gem a few chapters ago. It was the same characters and settings and there's nothing I could've added to it to make it stand out. But hopefully adding Peridot and moving things to the desert has made it different enough that you all didn't just skim this chapter. But next chapter, we'll hopefully be getting back to totally canon non-compliant smutty goodness. :D


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

"Well," Peridot said smugly, watching Pearl and Bismuth talking together on the other side of the room. "I think we've had a very productive day, don't you?"

"We did pretty good," Steven agreed.

"Well... you did OK," Amethyst said critically. "But did you arrange flowers, caterers, seating and photography?"

Peridot rolled her eyes and picked up a magazine. "Did _you?_ " she countered.

"Just the catering," she cheerfully admitted. "Mostly. And the seating. Which you've now screwed up by inviting another gem."

"Mmm." Peridot turned another few pages until she found a double page spread of bridesmaid gowns in pastel shades. She paused and leaned in closer to get a better look at a peach one-

"Oh, Peridot, that reminds me," Sapphire spoke up. "We thought tomorrow might be cutting it too close so we went ahead and chose a dress and shoes for you."

"...You did?" she said warily, an image of the hated ruffled dress popping into her mind.

"Uh huh! Come and look!" Ruby grabbed her by the hand and dragged her into her room and sure enough, laid out on the sofa was a pale lemon dress and a pair of pink shoes. "What do you think?"

Peridot silently examined the outfit for several seconds. Yellow wasn't a color she was particularly fond of, not any more, but she had to admit, it suited her. And there were significantly fewer ruffles and bows on this one. She could stand to wear it for a few hours.

But the shoes... oh dear, the shoes. They were a cross between school shoes, orthopedic shoes and hooves. "I will wear those shoes over my dead body," she declared firmly. It was a statement that made no logical sense, but it sounded dramatic enough to make her point.

"Aww, come on Peridot, pleeeeease," Ruby wheedled.

"You know making your bridal party wear something ugly is an honored Earth tradition," Sapphire added.

"So I assume Pearl and Amethyst will be wearing these revolting articles of footwear as well?" she checked.

"Well... no," Sapphire admitted. "Which is why we need you to."

Peridot folded her arms across her chest. "I'd rather set my teeth on fire."

Ruby and Sapphire retreated several paces and huddled together, speaking in low voices before returning to where she stood. "If you wear the shoes, we'll take Bismuth on a tour of Beach City," Sapphire said in a hushed tone.

Peridot tilted her head slightly in confusion. "Oooohkay... how does that benefit me?"

"We'll persuade Amethyst and Pearl to join us," Sapphire continued.

"Pearl and Bismuth have soooo much catching up to do, and Amethyst knows Beach City better than we do," Ruby said with exaggerated innocence. "No way could we go without them!"

Sapphire took over again. "But what do you know? A karaoke bar has opened up in town. And it's our wedding the day after tomorrow. And we haven't had a bachelorette party. So we'll pop in, order a few cocktails... and whoops, would you look at the time! 3am already!?"

"Such a shame you and Steven couldn't join us," Ruby said with a wink. "But you wanted to make a start on digitizing those records Greg dropped off earlier. And Steven must be so tired after everything that's happened today."

Peridot stared at them both in silence, trying to figure out if they really were saying what she thought they were saying. "Let me get this straight," she said slowly. "If I agree to wear those horrible shoes, you will make everybody else leave the house for several hours so that Steven and I can..." She trailed off, feeling her face start to burn. "Well, you know."

"Oh, we don't know," Sapphire said quickly. "We've made a solemn vow to never, ever look."

"We assume it's just kissing," Ruby added brightly, although there was a steely glint in her eyes. "As far as we know, our innocent baby boy is still a virgin. And will remain one until he's two hundred."

"Of course," Peridot agreed with a straight face. If Ruby and Sapphire wanted to believe that, she certainly wasn't going to tell them otherwise. "Some kissing would be nice."

"So you'll wear the shoes?" Ruby asked eagerly.

Peridot considered it for a few moments. On the one hand, some time alone to do kissing (and the rest) really would be nice. Who knew when they'd get another chance? She certainly didn't fancy returning to Rose's room after being so rudely stabbed to death last time, and she had the sneaking suspicion that Steven wasn't in a hurry to return there either. And she _really_ wanted to have sex with him again.

But they were utterly _hideous_ shoes.

"We'll let you lock the door," Sapphire added.

Peridot narrowed her eyes. "Go on."

"And..." Sapphire looked at Ruby for help. "Uh... "

"We'll pay you," Ruby offered. "Fifty bucks."

"Deal," Peridot said at once. They all shook hands, and then Ruby and Sapphire left the room. Peridot remained behind. She stuck her tongue out at the shoes, and then began typing out a message on her phone.

 _When they ask, you are very tired and want an early night. Xxx_

That done, she stepped back out into the house and picked up the box of records. Steven shot her a quizzical look from the other side of the room, but she ignored him and went straight back to her room to work.

About two hours later, she heard noise picking up outside her room and paused to listen.

"-would not believe how much Earth has changed," she heard Ruby say. "Like, Beach City wasn't even _here!_ "

"They've built quite the community," Sapphire added loudly. "And as for the humans themselves..."

"Not up to our standards, obviously," Pearl said dismissively.

Peridot put down her equipment and tiptoed to the door just in time to see Amethyst jab Pearl in the ribs with her pen, making her jump. "Come on P, admit it, they're not _that_ bad. You even went on a date with one! She went on a date with one," she repeated in a loud whisper to Bismuth as Pearl blushed furiously behind her.

" _One_ date!"

"We should show Bismuth around the town!" Ruby quickly interjected before the conversation could get completely off topic.

"I wouldn't mind a tour of this place," Bismuth agreed amicably. "Didn't really get much of a chance to look around last time I was here."

"And we could all use a break from wedding planning," Sapphire said.

"All right, you've convinced me." Amethyst tossed her pen aside and skipped over to join them. "Come on Bizz, we'll show you _all_ the sights! It'll be the best ten minutes of your life!"

Pearl shook her head with a smile, and then turned to Steven. "Do you want to come with us, Steven?" she asked. "You know Beach City better than any of us."

"Sure! Sounds fun-" In the corner of his eye, he spotted Peridot shaking her head at him and belated realized this was what her text message had somehow been referring to. "Uh, I mean, I'd love to, but I've had a reeeally busy day today. Super jet-lagged." He forced himself to yawn. "So I think I'm just gonna stay here and have an early night."

Peridot quickly abandoned her post by the door and snatched up another record and pretended to be deeply absorbed in her work, just as Amethyst poked her head into the room. "Hey 'Dot! We're gonna take Bismuth out and show her around, wanna come with?"

"No thank you." She pretended to check the cables and then tapped a few buttons on her keyboard. "I have _far_ too much work to do here, go on without me."

"Hmm." Amethyst narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "You sure?"

"I'm sure." Peridot moved back over to the record player and moved the needle over. "Unless you want Ruby and Sapphire's first dance to be to Rasputin."

"Well... he _is_ Russia's greatest love machine." Amethyst laughed and spun around to leave. "All right, have fun with Greg's records. All one of them, which is how long it'll take us to walk to the other side of Beach City and back."

"Bye," Peridot said blandly, trying not to smirk as Ruby stepped into the doorway and gave her a thumbs up. She waited, listening to the sound of the gems getting ready to go out, the farewells they called out and the door opening and closing.

Then Steven appeared in her doorway. "So. I'm having an early night, am I?"

Peridot grinned and wrapped her arms around him. "Yes. To bed with you at once!" she commanded, leaning up on tiptoe to kiss him.

Steven happily returned the kiss for several seconds and then reluctantly pulled away. "OK... well, I don't quite get it, but I'll let you get on with the music-"

"Nooo!" She laughed and kissed him again. "The music is an excuse!" She stepped back and waved a hand towards the doorway. "Surely it hasn't escaped your notice that we have the house to ourselves?"

Steven tilted his head in confusion. "No, but... like Amethyst said, it only takes about ten minutes to walk around Beach City, and I'd like to spend a _little_ more time than that with you."

"Then tonight is your lucky night! Ruby and Sapphire plan to drag the other gems to a karaoke bar and keep them there until 3am," she explained, seeing that he just looked even more confused. "All I have to do is wear the ugliest shoes in the world to the wedding."

"Really?" He looked around, intrigued. "Where- oh wow! They really _are_ ugly!" He pounced on them and held them aloft, laughing. "Yikes!"

"Ugh, hide them somewhere so I don't have to look at them!" Peridot couldn't help laughing as well though.

Steven obligingly hid the shoes at the back of her wardrobe before turning back to face her. "And they're definitely going to keep everyone away for a few hours?" he checked. "Wow, they must really want you to wear those shoes."

Peridot nodded. "Nobody else would agree to wear them. They were desperate."

Steven tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well in that case, I think before we do anything else, we ought to at least get their first song sorted. Unless you really _do_ plan to make them have their first dance to Rasputin?"

"It's a tempting thought, but it might not be entirely appropriate," she admitted with a smile. "And perhaps not Every Breath You Take." She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Although actually, it might not be as bad for them. As Garnet is a fusion, it's a little less stalker-y. And they don't need to breath."

"I'm sure we can come up with a better one though." Steven thought about the list of wedding songs in his book. "Rewrite The Stars? I mean, it's about a couple that weren't supposed to be together, just like Ruby and Sapphire."

"And the song ended with them deciding not to be together," Peridot pointed out.

"Eugh, true." He thought again. "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing?"

"It's _Aerosmith._ "

Which was a fair point, he had to admit. "Well, what about Perfect then?"

"No!" she exclaimed at once.

"Why not?" He blinked in surprise. "It's not got any weird, creepy overtones, everyone likes it..."

"Yes, but..." Peridot blushed and turned away. "I-I wanted to save it for us," she mumbled.

Steven stared at her for a moment and then smiled widely. "Peridot, are you proposing?" he teased.

"No, no!" She flapped her hands in embarrassment. "I mean... not _now_ , but maybe one day in the future, if we _did_... I wanted that one for us."

He laughed and gently took hold of her hands, pulling her back around to face him. "Then we'll keep it back. Just in case," he promised, giving her a quick kiss. "But until then..." On a whim, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and tapped at the screen before placing it on the desk as the music began to play. "May I have this dance?"

She giggled and took his outstretched hand. "You may."

Her room wasn't exactly small, but it was rather crowded; elaborate spins and twirls weren't going to be possible without somebody putting a foot through a piece of furniture. But that was OK because it wasn't a song to dance wildly to anyway. Instead, they held each other close and swayed, relishing the closeness of each other. Peridot rested her head against his chest, listening to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. "I love you," she murmured.

"I love you too," he said, and tilted her chin up to kiss her. In the middle of all the revelations and changes that had happened recently, it was almost a shock to realize that he was happy. He smiled, closed his eyes and pulled her close.

Then there was a bright flash of light. They opened their eyes and there was a moment of swooping disorientation that was both familiar and new. Everything was at the wrong angle and their body didn't respond the way it was supposed to. It was, Peridot faintly thought, remarkably similar to how she'd felt the first time she'd reformed after being captured and discovered her limb enhancers were missing, only this time she was taller and she could _see_ more somehow-

 _We've fused!_

The thought popped into her head without warning; immediately she realized it had come from Steven, along with that feeling of familiarity. And joy. So much joy.

 _No, that's from you too._

She could almost feel him smiling in her head. No, scratch that, she _could_ feel him smiling in her head because it was a smile that was mirrored on their face-

It was too much. There was another flash of light, and the two split apart, still holding each other close. "Are you OK?" Steven asked in concern, taking in his girlfriend's wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

"Y-yes, fine," she stammered, unconsciously pulling him closer. "I-I just wasn't expecting..."

"No, me neither." He smiled wryly. "Probably should've though, what with the dancing and all, sorry."

She sighed and burrowed her face into his shirt. "No, I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I liked it, but... it was just so overwhelming!"

"Hey, it's OK," he said soothingly and rubbed her back. "Like you said, you weren't expecting it. Next time, we'll be prepared."

"Next time?" She tilted her face up and regarded him warily.

"Sure! I mean, we never even figured out our name or saw what we looked like! I mean, that is, if you want to," he amended.

She gazed at him a moment longer and then smiled widely. "I want to." Then she leaned forward and gave him a kiss that strongly implied she wasn't just talking about fusion.

"So... a karaoke bar?" Steven said once his mouth was finished kissing her.

"Until 3am," Peridot confirmed. " _And_ we can lock the door." She leaned forward and gave him another kiss that sent all the blood in his body down south. "So let's make the most of it."

"I will definitely do my best to make sure you don't regret agreeing to wear the shoes," Steven promised, and swept her up into his arms. He carefully stepped around her computer equipment and tools until he reached the sofa, and sat down with her in his lap.

Then the kissing resumed. They spent several very happy minutes joined at the lips, and then got busy exploring other parts of each other with their mouths. Then they quickly realized their clothes were in the way. Peridot pulled Steven's t-shirt up and over his head and tossed it to the floor, but when he tried to return the favor, she smacked his hands away. "Ah-ah!" she scolded lightly, and smirked. "There's something I've been meaning to show you."

"Yeah?" Steven was immediately intrigued. "What, like nipple piercings?"

Peridot spluttered with laughter and swatted his chest. "No! Just... this." She sat back slightly, held her arms out and concentrated. Immediately, her shirt vanished. "Tada."

"Oooh!" His eyes lit up and he reached out to fondle her naked breasts. "I'm not gonna lie, I do very much enjoy taking your clothes off, but that's definitely a trick I wanna see more of." His eyes drifted down to her new shorts and leggings. "You gonna make the rest disappear too?" he asked hopefully.

"Soon," Peridot promised, and gave him another kiss that made his body tingle from head to toe to cock. He felt her smile against his mouth, and rolled his hips up against her, making her whimper. "V-very soon."

"Good," he murmured, and began dropping kisses along her collarbone. "I look forward to it."

He lowered his head further and his lips closed around one of her nipples. Peridot groaned and squirmed in his lap, making him even harder. He ran his tongue around the stiff little nub, then turned his attention to the other one. She responded by shuffling back slightly so she could reach down between them to unzip his pants. Her hands slid into his underpants, wrapped around his erection... and then paused. "Wait," she whispered, pulling back slightly. "Is- is this OK?"

"What?" Steven raised his head to look at her in confusion. "You mean like... the gems?"

"No, I mean..." She blushed and looked away. "The last time we did anything like this, it... it didn't end so well." She turned back and looked anxiously at him. "So, I just... are you all right?"

Steven raised his eyebrows and looked pointedly down at his pants, where her hands were still absently fondling him. "Peridot, if I had any misgivings at all, I can assure you, you've successfully distracted me."

"Are you sure?" she asked, still wary.

He grabbed her butt and leaned forward to kiss her once again. "Totally," he promised.

Reassured, she tugged his pants and boxers out of the way so he could kick them off, and started rhythmically stroking the velvety skin of his penis. Her thumb skimmed over the tip, while her other hand cupped his balls. Steven groaned loudly and closed his eyes. "Peri... you keep doing that and I'm not gonna last."

Peridot grinned and gave his cock a final gentle squeeze before letting go. "That would be less than optimal," she agreed. "Should I show you the next stage of my vanishing act then?" she teased.

Steven smiled back. "I would like that very much."

Peridot's smile widened, then her expression shifted into one of concentration. A second later, the simulated fabric covering her lower body sparkled and vanished.

"Abracadabra," Steven murmured, his eyes drawn straight to her exposed pussy. "What do you do for a finale?" he asked, reaching down to cup her.

"Mmm..." She closed her eyes and sighed happily as his fingertips dipped into her. "I make all your dreams come true." Then her eyes snapped open. "I-I mean the good ones! Not the others-"

Her flustered attempts to explain were cut off by Steven's lips, then when his fingers started moving, she forgot what she was trying to say anyway. She rocked her hips against him until she felt her pleasure building, and then she gently pushed his hand aside, raised herself up until she felt the head of his cock press against her, and slowly sank down onto him. This time, there was no pain at all.

Steven groaned and grabbed hold of her hips, raising his own to meet hers as she rose up and sank down again. "Fuck, Peri, that feels so good!"

"Heh. That's because I'm fantastic," she bragged, and began to move faster, forcing him to shut up and concentrate on his own movements.

They quickly settled into a steady rhythm and made love in that position for a few minutes, until Steven felt himself getting close. "P-Peri..." he panted. "I'm gonna..."

She leaned forward and kissed him deeply, and as her tongue moved against his own, he couldn't hold back any longer. His hands held her tighter and his hips bucked wildly with the force of his orgasm. And while he was still semi-hard, Peridot reached down between them again and rubbed her clit, reaching her own release a few moments later with a wordless cry. She slumped against him, panting heavily, and he smiled and leaned forward to kiss her gem, then gently tilted her chin up so he could kiss her lips too. "Mmm... love you."

"Love you too." She gave him a slightly sleepy smile and snuggled against his chest. "What time is it?"

"Uh..." He tried to reach his phone without letting go of her and as a consequence, almost sent both of them tumbling of of the sofa. "Hang on... got it. Getting on for ten."

"Perfect." She grinned widely and pushed him down onto his back before stretching out next to him. "Plenty of time for us to rest and regain our strength and do that all over again."


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

After a refreshing power nap, they did indeed do it all over again and then fell asleep in each others arms until they were very rudely awoken by the noise of the other gems returning.

"Sounds like they had a good time," Steven muttered, wincing as an especially loud crash and the hiss of several voices reached his ears.

"Not as good as us," I'll bet," Peridot whispered, making him giggle. "You can put the shield away now."

"Hmm?" He looked down at his arm and belated noticed the shield he'd instinctively summoned upon awakening. "Whoops." He grinned sheepishly and dismissed it. "Guess I'm still a little, y'know, on edge after all."

"S'ok." She wriggled closer, pressing her delightfully naked body against him and leaned up to give him a kiss. "You just need a little more distracting."

There was another bang, several voices going 'shhhhh!' all at once, and then the unmistakable sound of someone retching. It wasn't exactly mood music. "Hold that thought," Steven murmured a little reluctantly.

They waited hopefully, but all that happened was that the sound of retching faded slightly as whoever it was moved into the bathroom. Peridot sighed and sat up. "Well," she muttered, phasing her outfit back on, "now that I'm awake, I may as well get some work done."

"Whatcha gonna do?" he asked with interest, propping himself up on one elbow to watch.

"I thought I'd start planning exactly how we intend to try curing Centipeedle and the other corrupted gems," she replied, picking up her tablet. "Most of the wedding preparation has been completed now, so I was rather hoping we might be able to get started tomorrow- well, later today," she amended, checking the time on the screen. "But even if we have to wait until after the wedding, I would like to be prepared so that we can start as soon as possible. And then I wanted to have another look at my decryption program," she continued, gesturing towards her computer. "It hasn't decrypted anything new since the song, so I'd like to take another look at it and see if it can be improved. And then I'm going to redesign that faster-than-light drive to make it safer... what?" she asked, squirming a little uncomfortably as he stared at her with starry eyes.

"Huh? Oh, sorry." He smiled and waved his hand dismissively. "I was just thinking how much everything's changed. Before you moved in, I was just kind of drifting along, waiting for the Diamonds to figure out we were alive after all and come here to kill us." He rolled over onto his back and looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. "We were just killing time, y'know? But we weren't doing anything to _prepare_ for it. They could've turned up in one year, five years, twenty years, and it wouldn't have mattered, I'd have been exactly the same. But _you_ , you changed everything! You've got _plans_ and you're getting shit _done!_ " He rolled over again and gazed at her in wonder.

"W-well, you did things too!" Peridot protested, blushing furiously. "You- you released Bismuth! And moved the Cluster!"

Steven laughed fondly. "You know perfectly well I couldn't have moved the Cluster without you showing me it _could_ be moved. I was totally gonna just leave it bubbled down there."

"You still did it though," she said obstinately. " _I_ couldn't have moved it."

"Well..." He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I guess we just bring out the best in each other."

Peridot smiled ruefully, remembering the gem she'd been a few years ago. "You certainly brought out the best in me," she said with feeling, then returned her attention to her tablet. "You should try and go back to sleep if you want to be the best of _you_ today"

"I think you had the best of me today already," he said, and gave her a cheeky wink. She threw a cushion at him, making him laugh, then he settled down and watched her work for a few minutes before his eyes fluttered closed. Outside, whoever had been throwing up had finally finished and now there was no sound other than the quiet tap of her fingertips to lull him back to sleep.

xxx

At around 8am, Peridot unlocked her door and poked her head around the frame. To her delight, Amethyst was already there, lying on the sofa. She strode forward, but as she neared the other gem, she slowed down. Amethyst looked – and smelled – half dead. She reached out and cautiously poked her arm. "Amethyst?"

One of Amethyst's eyes cracked open and glared blearily at her. "Fuu'orf."

"Are you all right?" She wrinkled her nose at the other gem's disheveled appearance. Had there been a corrupted gem attack? Or, more likely, had relations broken down over karaoke? "What happened to you?"

"Ugh." Amethyst closed her eye again and rolled over. "S'you," she muttered into the back cushions. "Your happiness makes me sick."

"No, that would be the tequila slammers."

Peridot spun around to see Ruby and Sapphire stood behind her. "I did tell you it was a bad idea," Sapphire said placidly.

"Yeah, but then your bitch fiance double-dared me," Amethyst argued, rolling back over to face her. Then her face turned green. "Hrk... 'scuse me!"

Ruby shook her head sadly as Amethyst bolted into the bathroom. "No, she's right, I did do that."

Peridot looked to the bathroom door, and then to the couple, utterly confused. "So... what happened?"

"Too much alcohol," Sapphire said simply. "She's hungover."

"Ohhhh." Peridot looked at the bathroom door again. Hangovers had never looked quite so sour on television. "Will she be all right?"

"Eventually," Ruby said with a grin. "Get her a glass of water, that'll help."

"She'll be no use today, though" Sapphire said, picking up a notebook and flicking through it. "Fortunately, we got almost everything done yesterday. I think all we need to do today is set everything up and collect the cake and flowers."

"And choose our first song," Ruby added. She gave Peridot a sly look. "Unless you and Steven got around to choosing one?"

Peridot pretended to be very busy with the faucet. "We discussed it," she said vaguely. "But we were unable to come to an agreement. Where's Bismuth?" she asked, quickly changing the subject.

Ruby jabbed her thumb in the direction of the bathroom. "Unconscious in the bathtub."

"Tequila slammers too?" Peridot guessed. "Did you give your entire bridal party alcohol poisoning?"

Ruby nodded ruefully. "Maybe I shouldn't have double-dared everyone."

"You really shouldn't have," Sapphire said severely. "Now we have to put up the marquee by ourselves."

"But Saffy..." Ruby whined. "It was our bachelorette party! We're never gonna have another one!"

Sapphire's expression softened. "True. Unless we renew our vows in a hundred years."

"I'd renew our vows _every_ year if it meant never being apart from you again," Ruby declared, gazing at her fiance with adoration. Sapphire gave her a soppy look in return and the two began to giggle and coo in hushed whispers. Behind them, Peridot rolled her eyes and silently vowed that if she ever became as revoltingly affectionate in public as those two, she'd ask Lapis to dump a bucket of cold water water on her.

Amethyst's thoughts seemed to be running along similar lines; upon stepping out of the bathroom, she took one look at the couple and pulled a face. "If you guys keep doing that, I'm gonna throw up again," she warned.

"Here." Peridot held out the glass of water. "Is now a bad time to ask if you happen to have another microwave handy?"

"Glg-" Amethyst held up a warning hand as she drained the glass, then she gasped loudly and swiped the back of her hand across her mouth. "Ahhhh. Much better. OK. So, what was that?"

"Do you happen to have another microwave handy?" Peridot repeated.

"Uhhh..." Amethyst screwed up her eyes, and then shook her head. "Ugh, dunno. Brain hurts too much to think. Lemme go have a quick nap and I'll check when I wake up."

As Peridot couldn't exactly force her to carry out a search immediately, she simply nodded and let the other gem retreat to her room to nurse her hangover in peace before considering her next move. Clearly she wasn't going to be able to work on the faster-than-light drive until Amethyst recovered, and she wanted to wait until Steven was awake to visit Centipeedle and her crew, and she had a feeling he'd probably be out for a few more hours at least. At that thought, a smirk spread across her face; it was a nice feeling to know that for once, he was tired for good reasons.

She turned around to see Ruby and Sapphire kissing, and cleared her throat to get their attention. "Do you require my assistance with any of the wedding preparations?" she asked politely.

The couple separated and looked blankly at her for several seconds until they remembered what they were supposed to be doing. "Uhh..." Sapphire tapped her fingers against her chin. "Are the marquee supports metal?" she asked Ruby in a loud whisper.

"I think so?" Ruby shrugged. "Does it matter? Whatever it's made of, we need help with it."

"True." Sapphire turned back to Peridot. "Would you be able to help us with that?"

"Sure. I'll just go and fetch my toolkit." She took a step towards her room and then paused as an embarrassing memory popped into her head. "And let Steven know the bath's occupied."

xxx

An few hours later, Steven stepped out onto the deck and watched the chaos beneath him with amusement. The marquee was spread out on the sand, poles scattered upon its surface and a number of holes surrounding it. Sapphire was holding one pole in place in one of the holes while Ruby stood on her shoulders, and next to them stood Peridot with a control pad, carefully directing the drone that flew above them with another pole suspended beneath it.

As he watched, a gust of wind caught the drone and Ruby swerved her upper body to avoid it. Sapphire took a hasty step backwards, straight into one of the holes, and toppled over with a scream that was abruptly cut off when Ruby landed on top of her.

"Can I give you a hand?" he called, already halfway down the steps.

"Watch out!" Peridot yelled, but it was too late. As he stepped onto the beach, his foot hit a patch of ice, sending him sliding out of control towards them, arms windmilling wildly as he struggled to stay upright. In desperation, he tried to jump sideways to safety, only to hit a patch of glass. Peridot's eyes widened in alarm and she dived out of the way just in time to avoid being mowed down.

Ruby and Sapphire weren't so fortunate. In their haste to get out of the way, they became even more entangled and so in the end, all they could do was throw up their hands to protect their faces when Steven crashed into them and went flying through the air, a short but impressive flight that ended when he landed face first in the sand, some distance away, with a loud THUMP.

"STEVEN!" the three gems cried in unison. Ruby and Sapphire finally managed to free themselves and sprinted to his aid, arriving just as Peridot grabbed him by the collar and pulled his face out of the sand. "Steven! Speak to me! Don't you dare be dead! You'll _ruin_ the wedding!"

Steven spat out a mouthful of sand and gasped for air. "I'm alive! I'm OK! Didn't die!"

"Always good to hear," Sapphire said and held out a hand to help him up. "Sorry about the ice."

"And the glass," Ruby added. "We had a few... issues."

"Yes. I noticed." He turned slowly on the spot, and then looked up at the drone that was still hovering overhead. "So what happened?"

"We did our best, but ultimately, we were hindered by the fact that we're all..." Peridot pulled a face. "Short."

"Oh." Steven frowned and looked at Ruby and Sapphire. "Why didn't you guys just shapeshift?"

The trio stared blankly at him for a moment and then their eyes all widened in unison. "Oh! Of course!" Sapphire exclaimed. Beside her, Ruby blushed and ducked her head. "I guess we were so preoccupied with the wedding, we just... forgot," Sapphire continued sheepishly.

Peridot bent down to pick up the controller she'd dropped. "It didn't occur to me either," she admitted ruefully. "As it's not something I can do myself, I sometimes forget other gems don't have the same limitations. It's fine," she added as Steven cringed and began to stammer out an apology. "Now that we have three gems who can make themselves taller, work should progress much more swiftly.

And it did. Less than an hour later, the marquee stood proudly upon the sand and they began setting up tables and chairs inside for the party. Soon afterwards, they were joined by Bismuth and Pearl, who'd finally recovered from all the 'iced teas' she'd consumed the night before ("well how was I supposed to know they weren't actually tea?") and by the time Amethyst joined them, all that remained to do was arrange the flowers and set up the sound system. As that was a task that couldn't be completed until Greg delivered them both, they agreed it was time for a well earned break.

"Apart from Amethyst," Pearl muttered.

"Hey, I spent the morning trying to keep my brain from dribbling out of my eyeballs!" Amethyst said furiously. "I have earned _every second_ of this break!"

"It looks so good," Steven said happily, ignoring the bickering duo. "Tomorrow's going to be great!"

"There are approximately seven hundred and twenty-nine ways it could go wrong," Sapphire said placidly. "Seven hundred and twenty-eight," she amended, spotting Greg's van approaching. "No, wait, seven hundred and thirty-two."

"Well... just try not to think about it," Peridot advised firmly. "Unless you can do something about it."

"Seven hundred and twenty-five," Sapphire muttered in response and drifted away to meet Greg.

Peridot shook her head and turned back to Steven. "Lunch?"

Steven hesitated and glanced over in Sapphire's direction. "Depends if that makes the numbers go up again."

"They will if you pass out with hunger," Peridot pointed out.

"Good point," he admitted, and let her drag him up the steps and into the house. Once inside, he let go of her hand and started searching through the fridge. "We've got some eggs... cheese... mushrooms... omelet it is then. You want some?"

Peridot considered the offer for a moment and then shook her head. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day and she didn't want to miss any of it by needing to use the bathroom. "Thank you for the offer, but I'll pass. Can I do anything to help though?"

"Sure." He tossed her the paper bag containing the mushrooms. "Can you wash and slice these for me?"

"No problem." She gave him a jaunty salute, making him laugh, and then set to work. Soon the omelet was bubbling away on the stove and coffee was bubbling away in the coffee pot. Greg entered with an alarming amount of equipment, declined food, accepted coffee, and began laying cables throughout the house. As soon as he'd finished eating, Steven joined him while Peridot digitized a few more records she hadn't gotten around to doing, and transferred them to his laptop. Down on the beach, Pearl was moving the flowers into position while Amethyst and Ruby arranged some ice sculptures the former had convinced Sapphire to make at the last minute.

And then, just as the sun was beginning to dip down in the sky, the work was completed. They stood back and admired their handiwork.

Everything was ready.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Peridot picked a few more flowers and added them to her basket. That done, she straightened up and glanced up at the sky. Nothing. But then, there wouldn't be, she reminded herself. If Lapis was going to show up, it would be at the beach, not here on the hill opposite the building site where the barn had once stood. She stuck her tongue out at the machines buzzing over the ground and turned her back on them.

At once, her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her face. Steven was heading up the grass towards her. "Hey!" he called, raising his hand in greeting. "You ready?"

"Ready," she called back, holding her basket aloft. She jogged over to him, taking care not to jostle her flowers. "Any sign of Lapis?" she asked.

"Not yet." He took her hand and they began walking back towards the waiting car. "But Sapphire says she expected that. If she shows up, it'll be later."

"I see." Peridot nodded and allowed him to open the car door for her. Privately, she suspected that if Lapis did show up, it would be when it was most dramatic. Probably during the 'does anyone have any objections' bit. Or maybe 'you may now kiss the bride.'

"Hi, Peridot," Greg said cheerfully as she climbed into the car. He glanced down at her feet and did a double-take. "Uh... nice shoes..."

"Thank you," she said with a demure smile. "I've grown quite fond of them," she added, and winked at Steven.

"Me too," he murmured. Then as his father started the car and began heading back to town, he leaned over and whispered, "wanna see you wearing nothing but those shoes."

Peridot let out a loud snort of laughter and poked him in the ribs, making him yelp. "Sssh!" she hissed as Greg shot a quick, startled look in their direction.

"Everything cool back there?" Greg asked warily.

"It's fine. I was just admiring Peridot's shoes as well," Steven said, feigning innocence. Greg's eyes met his in the rear view mirror and narrowed in suspicion, but he wisely decided not to ask any further questions and simply switched on the radio instead.

The journey back to Beach City passed by swiftly and soon they were back in the house with the rest of the bridal party. They talked quietly among themselves for several minutes, casting quick glances out of the window every now and then at the gathering guests, until the clock struck the hour. At that point, Steven and Sapphire stepped outside and made their way over to the arch. Once they were in position, Greg picked up his guitar and started to play a tune as he lead the rest of the group out onto the deck and down to the beach.

Steven leaned over and gave Sapphire a gentle nudge. "You nervous?"

"I'm not," she said serenely, and kicked away the ice forming around her feet.

They turned and watched Peridot make her way towards them, both of them struggling to keep a straight face as she hit each guest in the face with the flowers. That done, she joined Steven and curtsied. "All flowers have been deployed, wedding commander."

"Thanks, Peridot," he said with a grin.

Then the music changed to the wedding march, and they all turned to see Ruby standing on the deck in her beautiful wedding gown. As soon as she set eyes upon her fiance, a large, wibbly smile appeared on her face. And then she ran to her, as fast as her legs could carry her, and certainly faster than Greg's music could keep up. Amethyst hastily stamped out the flames left in her wake, and stepped back just as the music stopped.

Steven stepped forward and cleared his throat. "Dearly beloved..."

As he spoke, Peridot glanced up at the sky once again, with half an ear on the proceedings. She heard Ruby's vows without really paying attention, and then Sapphire. But as Steven opened his mouth to ask Bismuth for the rings, Sapphire held up her hand. "Wait."

"Uh..." Steven gave her a quizzical look, but closed his mouth obediently and waited.

What followed was ten seconds of long and awkward silence. Finally Sapphire's shoulders drooped and she nodded for him to continue.

"Bis-" Steven began.

At that moment, there was a _whoosh_ and a thump that shook the ground and threw up a cloud of fine sand at the other end of the party. Heads turned, and Lapis Lazuli strode forward. "Hi," she nonchalantly, and held up an untidy paper bag. "Got you a gift."

Pearl strode forward. "Gifts go on the table here," she said, making no attempt to hide her annoyance at this interruption in the proceedings. "And we saved you a seat," she continued, steering Lapis towards an empty chair at the back. Lapis allowed herself to be directed without argument, but as soon as Pearl's back was turned, she stuck her tongue out at her before giving Steven and Peridot a quick wave.

Steven bit back a smirk, then a pointed cough from Pearl brought him back to attention. "Oh! Yes, Bismuth, the rings please."

Bismuth stepped forward, tears streaming down her face, and handed over the rings, which Ruby and Sapphire then slid onto each other's fingers.

"Ruby," Steven announced. "Do you take this gem to have and to hold on this and every other planet in the universe?"

"I do!"

"And Sapphire, do you-"

"Yes," Sapphire said at once.

"You didn't let me finish," Steven whispered.

"I'm just very excited," Sapphire whispered back.

Steven stepped back and held his arms out. "Then by the power vested in me by the state of Delmarva, I now pronounce you... Garnet!"

Ruby and Sapphire didn't even bother waiting for him to tell them to kiss. Their lips met in a sweet, loving kiss, and then Ruby swept her wife off her feet. They twirled around, laughing with pure joy and then, in a burst of light, stood Garnet. Back together once more.

xxx

Steven may have had superhuman stamina, but after several hours of nonstop partying, even he had to take a break. He gulped down a cup of punch, then poured himself a second one and sipped at it while he watched the party going on around him. Amethyst was dancing with Yellowtail. Connie was dancing with Sadie. Pearl was chatting to Nanefua Pizza. Lars, Peedee and Fryman were standing near the buffet table, talking intensely about food, and Garnet was hugging herself as she danced, smiling from ear to ear.

At that moment, she caught his eye and made her way over to him. "Steven!" she exclaimed, and laughed.

"Hey Garnet," he said, and joined in with her laughter. "Thanks for everything," he said, just as she did the same, making them both laugh more.

"I needed this," Garnet finally said once her giggles subsided. "What a wonderful idea. Humans found a way to make a moment's decision last forever. I won't need future vision to know I'll always remember this."

"I'm so glad!" Tears rose up in his eyes, but he blinked them away and held out his hand. "Wanna dance?"

Garnet nodded happily. "I'd love to."

On the other side of the dance floor, Peridot sank into a chair and stretched her legs out. Looking down at her feet, she had to admit that ugly though the shoes were, they were very comfortable.

"Hey."

She looked up to see Lapis standing before her. "Hey, Lapis. Enjoying the party?"

"It's not bad," she grudgingly admitted, sitting down next to her. "Garnet looks really happy."

"She does, doesn't she?" Peridot smiled at the sight of Garnet and Steven doing the Cha Cha Slide across the dance floor and idly wondered if she'd look as happy on her own wedding day. "I wonder where her wedding bouquet ended up- oh, there it is," she commented as the bouquet finally fell out of the sky and onto Bismuth's head.

"Mmm." Lapis frowned. "So, who is that? A cured gem?"

"What? No!" Peridot cackled with laughter. "No, that's Bismuth! Steven told us about her, remember?"

"Oh, right, the one who wanted to shatter the Diamonds, so Rose bubbled..." Lapis's voice trailed off. "Ah."

"Yep." Peridot nodded sagely. "Steven wasn't happy about keeping her bubbled anyway, finding out his mother's true motives just made him even more determined to release her, and Ruby and Sapphire's wedding was the perfect opportunity to do so."

"Right." Lapis looked thoughtfully over at Bismuth again. "So when _are_ you planning to try curing the other gems?"

"Erm..." Peridot shrugged. "Tomorrow? I mean, after you're gone," she quickly added, belated realizing it might be a bit rude to abandon Lapis during the few hours she was back in Beach City. "Where are you planning on going next, anyway?"

"Actually..." Lapis took a deep breath. "I was thinking I might just stay here now."

Peridot blinked in confusion and sat up straighter. "You... want to take a break from traveling?" she checked.

"Yeah." Lapis sighed and slumped back in her chair. "A permanent break."

"Permanent? But- the butts! You've only visited sixty-four percent of the butt-named destinations on your list!" Peridot pointed out. "You haven't even _started_ on the other rude words!"

"And that's the thing!" Lapis exclaimed, sitting up straight. "I mean, what did you think of the Butts Farm? Honestly?"

"It... it was fine?" Peridot said slowly, trying to figure out what point Lapis was trying to make. "Might've been more fun if you... well, it was fine. Why?"

"And what about the butts?" Lapis persisted.

"The butts?" Now Peridot was even more confused. "There weren't any. I asked." She scowled and turned away. "As it turns out, it was simply an archaic measurement of volume and nothing to do with, well, butts."

"Exactly!" Lapis gestured towards the sea. "All those places, I thought they'd be funny, but they're just named after all these weird old Earth things, or they mean something else in another Earth language. They didn't have anything to do with butts. Most of them didn't even acknowledge it. And OK, it was nice to travel around and see more of the planet, but most of those places were just sort of... boring." She sighed and flopped back into her chair again. "Plus it was getting kind of lonely. And I thought, well, you're about to start curing those corrupted gems-"

"We don't know if the cure will actually be a success," Peridot quickly cut in. "Mine and Steven's exposure to corruption was far less intense than the original victims, the song may not be as effective."

"Eh, whatever." Lapis waved her hand dismissively. "I just thought it would be fun- well, not fun, but I was curious, I thought maybe I could help or something. Because..." She took a deep breath. "Steven said Centi was a Homeworld gem who got caught trying to find her crew. She wasn't a Crystal Gem. And I thought, maybe some other Homeworld gems got caught too. And... and maybe some of them were gems I knew. And I could like, help explain to them what happened."

"That's... actually not a bad idea," Peridot said slowly. "We should discuss it with Garnet and Pearl – not right now, obviously, after we've assessed Centi and her crew and compiled the results – but yes, if it works, we would like to cure everybody and it would help to have a friendly- well, a familiar face, when it comes to the Homeworld gems."

"Thanks," Lapis said dryly. "Glad to be of help."

Peridot decided to ignore the sarcasm. It was a wedding, after all. "Wonderful," she said instead, and started climbing back to her feet again. "I'm going to see if Steven wants to dance some more-"

"Nah, you've been hogging him all day!"

Lapis and Peridot both yelped as Amethyst popped up behind them and flung her arms around their necks. "It's a wedding!" Amethyst cheered in their ears just a little too loudly. "Share the love! And come and do the Macarena with me and Pearl!"

"But- the Macarena isn't playing," Peridot protested as they were forcibly ejected from their chairs and pushed onto the dance floor.

"Doesn't matter! You can do the moves to any song!" Amethyst insisted, and began flinging her arms out to prove her point.

"I don't know, I'm not entirely sure Flash has quite the same rhythm," Pearl commented, but she gamely joined in anyway. "So, Lapis," she said, gracefully jumping around on the spot. "How are you enjoying your travels?"

"I'm not," Lapis said calmly. "So I've decided to quit and stay here."

"You're staying?" Pearl stumbled to a halt and almost crashed into Amethyst. "But... where? Andy sold the land, remember? And we never had any success with the room ceremony!"

"Why not let her have Steven's room?" Amethyst suggested. "What?" she protested as everybody stopped and stared at her.

"She can't move into Steven's room!" Pearl hissed furiously.

"Why not?" Garnet asked, suddenly appearing next to them.

"Because- because it's _Steven's!_ " Pearl protested.

"What's Steven's?" Steven asked, immediately intrigued.

"Your room," Peridot explained. "Amethyst was just saying perhaps Lapis could live there."

"But... it's mine," he said, confused. "Where would I sleep- oh!"

"I mean," Amethyst continued, still dancing, "it's not like you're actually using it any more, you've basically moved into Peridot's room now anyway."

"I wouldn't be opposed," Peridot murmured thoughtfully.

"Then it's agreed. I'll have Steven's room," Lapis said decisively. "Can we put the actual Macarena on? I'm going to go and request it."

"But- but-" Pearl spluttered after her as the rest of the group split up and began drifting their separate ways. "It's not... _appropriate!"_

"Pearl, let it go. That horse has left the stable," Amethyst said soothingly, and steered her towards the buffet table. "And remember," she added slyly, "don't think of it as Peridot and Steven sharing a room... think of it as them sharing a room in a tiny house with thin walls and a _really_ annoying chaperone on the other side."

"That's a good point," Pearl admitted, cheering up at once. "You know what, perhaps I do approve of these new living arrangements after all."

XXX

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone! And congratulations to Garnet on having an uninterrupted wedding! I just couldn't have the Diamonds gatecrash her day and honestly, I'm still kinda mad the show did when there really wasn't any particular reason why it had to happen right then. Which is why I racked my brains to find a proper reason... which I'll reveal next year, because that's all for this installment of Living Arrangements! And wow, this one's been a long one, hasn't it? I'm gonna take a short break and write a quick, smutty, completely unrelated oneshot that stormed into my head last week and refused to leave, but I'll return to the series next year... and maybe even finish it.

See you all in 2020!


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